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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Big Fight
My husband's character came into question so I defended him.
Friend doesn't like me because he is immature and I don't put up with it.
Good luck.
So, what happens if you're not invited? Your DH said he'd be "very mad", but would he still go? I'm sure he's not a terrible person, but he shouldn't be letting people insult or exclude his wife. If it comes down to: a) offending his friend or b) offending his wife, he should choose to offend his friend. Because he married you, he promised to love and honor you, and your feelings should be more important to him than his friend's feelings. If his friend gets mad or doesn't talk to him anymore, then the friend is an idiot. This is definitely something your DH should be taking a stand on. And I say this as the wife of a people pleaser who often chooses to upset me rather than a friend/co-worker, etc. It's not fun, not fair and bad for your marriage. My DH has to work hard at it, but he went to counselling and is slowly growing a spine and sticking up for me. Good luck!!
He's a child psychologist. We have some overlapping training but for the most part it is vastly different. (Anyone see the irony that he's a child psych and is acting like a child LOL)
HUH?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I know!! So annoying. My DH was raised to believe that his family's approval is the most important thing in the world, and it's taken a lot of counselling for him to challenge that belief. We don't even live in the same city as his family anymore, and he still worries about what they think. I'm always asking him "why don't you care what I think? If your parents are mad, oh well, we won't see or talk to them anyway. But if I'M mad, you have to see me and live with me every day!!" It's very hard to understand, even though I've seen how controlling and manipulative his family is. It's still very irritating that it WORKS. Argh.
Wait a minute..........if everyone (including your tool of a husband) goes except for you, you're going to "set fire to them all"?
Listen - I know it hurts to hear it, since you got so defensive already. But the problem here isn't the rude friend or anyone else on his guest list. They aren't the people that you need to be "setting fire" to. And assuming that you're invited is pretty damn stupid, seeing as how you've all but been told flat out that he isn't getting you a ticket.
YOUR HUSBAND is responsible for showing you respect and caring about your feelings. And he's not doing that, at all, right now. He is showing you that your feelings don't matter to him. He is showing you that all he cares about is his own fun. A man that truly loved you and respected you would never allow his friend to be so rude to you. He would certainly not accept tickets to an event that you were explicitly not invited to.
You shouldn't even have to tell your husband this. But apparently he's a bit self-absorbed. So tell him. And if he still tells you that he's going, I hope you reconsider who needs to have some fire set to them.
Wow.. That's pretty messed. Something isn't right about this and I cannot believe your DH is still going.. That's so not fair. Hopefully he realizes how hurt you are
I'm so sorry!
Hubby and I are on the road to Chicago right now to attend the Bears game this weekend. After a lot of talking it over we decided to say forget his friend and his stupid present. We raised enough money to cover both of our tickets and told the friend that if he didn't want to get seats for both of us then he can sit alone and we will be buying our own tickets instead, and if the game sold out we would tailgate in the parking lot for the game. Friend was super pissy about the decision and was making H and I uncomfortable so on top of it all we booked a hotel for our stay instead of staying at his house like we normally do. I think the friend got our point. He got all of us tickets together (there are six of us going) but is making "me" pay for mine and my husband's tickets (as if our finances aren't shared, at least our vaca finances I mean). He is still calling it a wedding gift though (LOL). H and I are just laughing it off. I am very happy that at the end of the day H sided with me and probably for the first time in his life he stood up against this douchey friend. In other news, I did Bears themed nails for the game! Da Bears!!
DaBearsWife,
I really hope you and hubby enjoy the game. The atmosphere on game day is energizing. Don't let his friend bring you down. Great touch of having his friend ask your hubby for tickets. I'll root for the bears for you this week since my team has pretty much blown their playoff chances 13 years in a row.
BFP - 10/29/2016!!!, EDD - 7/8/2017