Trouble in Paradise
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Money

Recently, I have been finding withdrawal slips from anywhere to $150-500 from my husband's credit union account. I suppose this wouldn't bother me except I asked him about it and he said its for pop or candy. He never has anything to show from these purchases and I'm becoming pretty concerned. I honestly don't know how to make him realize that it concerns me. I don't know how to handle this situation. He is also not the type to be doing any of this for a surprise for me so what could it be for? I'm trying my best not to jump to conclusions but I'm worried and a little scared. He's never done anything like this before. I want to ask him about it but without the lie he's going to give me. Any input would really be appreciated. This sort of thing is ruining trust.
Thanks.

Re: Money

  • Wow that's some expensive pop and candy!  My first thought would be is there a casino close by? When my DH or I take out that kind of money that's where we are headed. My other thought would be drugs. Is he gone for extended periods of time outside the norm?

    If this is a joint account I would feel entitled to know where this money is going.

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  • How often are these w/drawals?  Is it really frequently enough that it's just too much to spend on petty stuff before the next w/draw? 

    If it is - then I'd start pushing for more information.  I have to agree wthePP - my mind goes to gambling or drugs.. 

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  • Pop and candy?  Wow, he must think you are stupid.  I don't think you are but I can't believe he said that. 

  • edited September 2013
    For little things he enjoys, like soda or candy?

    I don't think so.

    Perhaps it is his company credit union, but sorry ---- this is your money as much as it is his, because when you get married, your money plus his becomes OUR money.

    This also makes him a liar on top of it all.

    Something is amiss here; he needs to come clean about where that money is going.

    If this is a withdrawal every few days or every week or more raplidly than that, he's up to something and it's not good. I agree it is drugs or gambling or perhaps it's going to another woman/man. Maybe he is spending it on phone sex or a pay-to-view online porn site.

    He doesn't have to be gone for odd periods of time; maybe it's hookers and he's stopping off before work, after work or on his lunch hour.

    He needs to come clean on this and if he does not, you've got a second big problem.

    If I were you:

    Keep every single one of those withdrawal slips. Make copies of them and keep them in a safe place.

    Run a credit check on yourself and your H.  You don't know what could be happening here --- you just started to find the withdrawal slips; this activity could have been happening for quite awhile before you found the first one

    Have a look at the credit card statements and bank statements, also.

    Demand he come clean and immediately. If he won't, like I said, big problem. No way is that money being spent on what he says it is. You know what he says is bull.
  • So, he told you pop and candy and you said ok and that was the end of the conversation?

    Did you ask him why pop and candy cost 150?

     



  • Hah, pop and candy, yeah right.  More like drugs, gambling, strippers, prostitutes, and/or a gold digging girl on the side.
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  • Why do you automatically think he will lie? It sounds like there are issues beyond the money thing and you're trying to ignore them. He's obviously up to something. Only he can tell you what it is.
  • edited September 2013

    So, he told you pop and candy and you said ok and that was the end of the conversation?

    Did you ask him why pop and candy cost 150?

     

    Or why it would cost him anywhere from $150 to half of one thousand dollars happening how often? Possibly every week or more than that? The OP didn't say how often the money was being withdrawn but I will bet it's happening more than once a week.

    OP: you know something is wrong here. Demand that he tell you what's going on.  If there is drugs involved or some other type of addiction (and addicts can hide their addictions) I suggest you run like hell there on the spot.

    And safeguard your assets. Keep your money out of his reach; put the money into a bank account he cannot access; don't let him have any of your credit cards and change  the pin numbers on your atm cards.

    When sums of money start to vanish too often, you know something is erratically wrong. Stay vigilant.
  • This sounds bad, and you have a right to know where it's going. Tell him you don't believe he's buying hundreds of dollars worth of candy and you need to know what's happening with this money.
  • He should at least show you the empties and the wrappers.:( Bah.

    OP: Get down to the bottom of this. Indeed this is not good.
  • I could buy a metric fuckton of soda and candy for $500.  There is no chance that's what he's spending the money on.  I really want to know how often he's taking money out.
  • I could buy a metric fuckton of soda and candy for $500.  There is no chance that's what he's spending the money on.  I really want to know how often he's taking money out.
    And get more bang for your fuckton and buy the $500 worth of candy in bulk at one of them dollar stores!


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