Halloween Costumes Article

amyjoy18

I've been silently fuming about the Halloween costumes that are available.  It seem like every year they just get worse and worse. 
This article sums it up for me.


http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/is-your-child-s-halloween-costume-sending-the-wrong-message--195430588.html

Meghan&Rich

The little girl costumes infuriate me now, I can't imagine how angry I'd be if I had a daughter.  I hate the pinkifying and princessifying of every.damn.thing.  (Also see: pink sports team jerseys. Ugh!)

On a related note, when I took Mason to pick out his costume, I almost felt that it was inappropriate for him to be there.  Some of the costumes and pictures on the packages were so skanky!  We are all going as superheroes...there has been a decent selection for DH and the boys, but for me, my options are pretty much to go as a super-whore-o. 

These messages are continually sent to young girls that they must be provocative and sexy, yet when they behave that way, everyone is all about the slut shaming.

AmandaJLewis

see also, newborn photos in tutus. 

Thankfully I am crafty. And truth be told I don't care if EJ has a preferences for dresses and pink (though personally as a child I didn't want either).  But I think it is just a current trend/preference in the children right now.  she is going to be a princess for halloween. Now when she reaches the pre-teen years I will strictly object to any sexy-whatever costumes. Cause no. But however at this age I think it is easy enough to avoid the ridiculous options that are available. Plus I know how to say no to her. But I don't see really how that spider girl dress is so terrible.  Way better than if they made it like the spider man one but with foam boobs rather than the foam muscles...... wouldn't you agree?

egpitt22

I don't have a girl, but I agree with Amanda. I looked at that pink spiderman costume & didn't see what was wrong with it...I mean, I get it...the skirt, the pink, all stereotypes.  But.  Is there a difference between a girl wanting that pink spiderman costume and a girl wanting to dress up like a princess? 

I sometimes don't get the whole hatred toward girls loving pink or sparkly things; I'm not trying to sound ignorant, but if someone can explain it to me, I'm happy to listen!  My boys love boy things.  They love trucks, they love sports, they love superheroes.  Boy stuff.  If they want to also love princess things or pink, then that's fine, too.  But, I don't hold it against them that their primary love is boy stuff.

AmandaJLewis

egpitt22 said:

I don't have a girl, but I agree with Amanda. I looked at that pink spiderman costume & didn't see what was wrong with it...I mean, I get it...the skirt, the pink, all stereotypes.  But.  Is there a difference between a girl wanting that pink spiderman costume and a girl wanting to dress up like a princess? 

I sometimes don't get the whole hatred toward girls loving pink or sparkly things; I'm not trying to sound ignorant, but if someone can explain it to me, I'm happy to listen!  My boys love boy things.  They love trucks, they love sports, they love superheroes.  Boy stuff.  If they want to also love princess things or pink, then that's fine, too.  But, I don't hold it against them that their primary love is boy stuff.

yes, all of this too.  I don't think society pressured EJ into wanting princess/pink/sparkles. It is just who she is. She only is exposed to that which I expose her. I am not like crazy pushing the princess culture either.

ryanthegirl

G seems to be a boy's boy, he loves cars and trucks and rough housing - but on the other hand, he has a baby doll that is his "mine baby" that he cuddles, feed, and puts to bed and he loves to dance.

Emmy, my take on the pink sparkly hatred is that it stems from pop-psychology. Many years back there was a study that suggested that girls like pink and boys like blue b/c society deems it and if you (and globally) don't encourage preference for one over the other, a child would trend toward what they like rather than their gender stereotype. I think some people get very upset when their child (despite their efforts) leans towards society's idea of their gender.

I don't have a strong opinion one way or the other, the idea of G being a popular football star sounds like my own personal hell - but if that's what he likes, then that's what HE LIKES. I was (am) an oddball when I was younger. I had multicolored hair, wore lots of black and dog collars, etc. I'm sure that was my parents' idea of hell, but they let me be ME. While I would hope G leans toward my and Casey's "different" interests (sci-fi, reading, comic books, horror movies, alternative music, subculture stuff), if he ends up being the complete opposite from us, good for him! That means he's being true to himself.

Luckystar2

Ditto Emmy! Dd loves purple, glitter and princesses. I just hate that it seems like society has shifted the other way and now all that stuff is bad!

I think they miss the point with the costumes. It's just giving girls an option IMO. I hope most parents wouldn't discourage their daughter from getting the regular Spider-Man or whatever boy type costume. But maybe the girls don't want them. My dd loves TMNT! But didn't want a TMNT costume because they are boys. IDK maybe she would have liked a costume that was TMNT with a dress! It just seems like another choice to give my kid...kind of like the pink Lego discussion!

Isn't the underlying issue more of why aren't there more stereotypical boy characters that are girls? How many superheroes are out there that are girls??

Dd is a girl. She wants to dress up like a girl character. I don't feel like society pressures her into that. But if there aren't many choices for girl characters that aren't princesses, etc then that's the real issue.

amyjoy18

I don't have any hatred of all things pink or princessy--DD spans both ends of the spectrum.  Pink, princessy and girly one minute, and rough, tough and muddy the next.   She can like whatever she wants (Nolan too!)

My main beef is more with how sexy all of the girls costumes have become, even ones for little girls.  And I think the article makes a valid point when they talk about making girls feel like they have to fit into boxes.  Because if DD did want to be Spidergirl--that costume likely would not be  what she had in mind. 

It become harder and harder to send the message to girls that they can be anything/do anything, when the world around them is constantly trying to tell them to be sexy--even when they're too young to know what sexy means. Or that their superhero power is wearing a skirt.

And I think that things like this further divide the genders, as one opinion in the article said:
When boys see these costumes, New York child psychologist Jennifer Harstein, author of “Princess Recovery,” tells Yahoo Shine, “it makes it challenging for them to see girls as equals"

ryanthegirl

Luckystar2 said:

Ditto Emmy! Dd loves purple, glitter and princesses. I just hate that it seems like society has shifted the other way and now all that stuff is bad! I think they miss the point with the costumes. It's just giving girls an option IMO. I hope most parents wouldn't discourage their daughter from getting the regular Spider-Man or whatever boy type costume. But maybe the girls don't want them. My dd loves TMNT! But didn't want a TMNT costume because they are boys. IDK maybe she would have liked a costume that was TMNT with a dress! It just seems like another choice to give my kid...kind of like the pink Lego discussion! Isn't the underlying issue more of why aren't there more stereotypical boy characters that are girls? How many superheroes are out there that are girls?? Dd is a girl. She wants to dress up like a girl character. I don't feel like society pressures her into that. But if there aren't many choices for girl characters that aren't princesses, etc then that's the real issue.

A good friend has a daughter who is 7 and last year for Halloween she wanted to be Black Widow (Scar Jo's character from the Avengers) and she was very upset b/c she couldn't find it anywhere - but found lots of Thor, Iron Man, and Captain America.

amyjoy18

The mighty girl site listed in the article had that costume :-)

ryanthegirl

She's since found Mighty Girl. I'm not sure what her daughter is being for Halloween this year.

I think the original subject (about provocative little girl costumes) is a really important one - not necessarily the pinking and princessing (and tutu-ing) of all things - but the fact that little girls are being taught at a young age that they should be provocative and pretty at all times. That they need "special" versions of costume, etc. Now that's something that causes me RAGE!

I was just replying to Emmy's question, Amy, I was in no way insinuating that you were trying to cram your little girl into the "anti pink" box. I just wanted to make that clear. In short, I agree with you! Let your kid be whoever they are!

Meghan&Rich

There is nothing wrong with the costume, I just side eye that everything is one extreme or the other.  The idea that if a girl wants to be Spiderman, then of course it MUST be pink and sparkly, with a picture of a curvy Spidergirl on the package vs. a picture of a girl in an actual Spiderman costume. 

If a girl wants to be a pink and sparkly spiderman, then that's totally cool.  I get that girls prefer pink and princesses (I did), it's not something I would ever discourage in a child...my boys are "all boy", so I get it.  Being frustrated with the princessifying of everything doesn't mean I think the idea of it is wrong, my frustration is the fact that it often seems to be the only option. It's the limiting of kids of what they can be, or fitting them into boxes like the article mentioned. That is what I wish didn't exist.  We can say we aren't pushing them one way or the other, but that's exactly what's going on when things are being marketed to kids.  I think a girl or boy should be whatever they want, but I don't think the societal messages they're getting truly encourage that.  My preference is more choices and balance for kids, and not such a focus on what is stereotypically "normal" for their gender.  It's not a hill I'm willing to die on, but I do find it annoying. 

The overall sluttiness of a lot of the costumes are what piss me off.

egpitt22

Meghan-that makes sense.  I guess for me, sometimes it seems like there is this huge backlash against anything pink and sparkly, and that's what I just don't get. 

And I completely agree...the overall sluttiness of costumes is completely appalling.

lala5507

I got a Halloween costume catalog and quickly threw it away.  It looks like if you are a female age 8 or older you have to be a sexy/slutty version of red riding hood, sesame street character, super hero or a witch.  It's gross and it makes me sad that in 4 or 5 years that is what will be out there for my daughter.

 

Now here's my view on the princess stuff.  I don't care if my daughters like princesses (my oldest really does).  But they make princess EVERYTHING now.  I mean everything.  Toys, clothing, toothpaste, leap pads, bedding....  It almost seems like its the only thing marketed to little girls.  I just want my daughters to know that there are other things too.  And that you can love princesses but you can also like non-princess things. 

AmandaJLewis

lala5507 said:

Now here's my view on the princess stuff.  I don't care if my daughters like princesses (my oldest really does).  But they make princess EVERYTHING now.  I mean everything.  Toys, clothing, toothpaste, leap pads, bedding....  It almost seems like its the only thing marketed to little girls.  I just want my daughters to know that there are other things too.  And that you can love princesses but you can also like non-princess things. 

they do put a princess on just about everything, but I think this is where as a parent you can control what comes into your house and to make sure it is the balance you want.

lala5507

We often buy the "boy" version of toys because neither of my daughters are in love with the color pink. 

MrsAmers

A million times, THIS!

Finally, Harstein notes, “children are children, and toys are toys. Creating such a separation is damaging to both genders, and leads to challenges as they grow and develop.”

--------------------------
Why, why, why, why, why does there have to be "boy stuff" and "girl stuff"? Why can't we just call them toys or costumes without labeling who they are for? Why does Target separate toys by gender? Why do humans have to be in a category based on their gender?

I could go on for hours, but I'll spare you. I am all for providing options, but I am sick of it being a "boy" option or a "girl" option, where the boy option is the default and the girl option is the shiny, glittery pink one. Or when there are multiple options and they are ALL shiny and glittery (see my Merida costume rant from last month.)

I find it incredibly sad and dangerous that we spend so much time and energy dividing things up by gender. (The societal "we", not any of us specifically.) It is so completely unnecessary and it hurts every person, male or female, who doesn't fit within the specific definitions that our society has established as the default.

/rant

Somewhat useless anecdote: Heather likes Star Wars and Superheroes and Princesses. Todd likes My Little Pony and Animals and Superheroes. It is ridiculous that anyone should consider these preferences odd based solely on their gender.

lala5507

 

MrsAmers said:

A million times, THIS! Finally, Harstein notes, “children are children, and toys are toys. Creating such a separation is damaging to both genders, and leads to challenges as they grow and develop.” -------------------------- Why, why, why, why, why does there have to be "boy stuff" and "girl stuff"? Why can't we just call them toys or costumes without labeling who they are for? Why does Target separate toys by gender? Why do humans have to be in a category based on their gender? I could go on for hours, but I'll spare you. I am all for providing options, but I am sick of it being a "boy" option or a "girl" option, where the boy option is the default and the girl option is the shiny, glittery pink one. Or when there are multiple options and they are ALL shiny and glittery (see my Merida costume rant from last month.) I find it incredibly sad and dangerous that we spend so much time and energy dividing things up by gender. (The societal "we", not any of us specifically.) It is so completely unnecessary and it hurts every person, male or female, who doesn't fit within the specific definitions that our society has established as the default. /rant Somewhat useless anecdote: Heather likes Star Wars and Superheroes and Princesses. Todd likes My Little Pony and Animals and Superheroes. It is ridiculous that anyone should consider these preferences odd based solely on their gender.

Some of the things they make gender specific are just ridiculous to me.  We bought a baby swing when we put a swing set in our yard.  Little Tikes has either a blue "boy version" or a pink "girl version".  We when with the blue one but honestly it think they are both ugly.  It's a swing for crying out loud.  Why can't it just be green or brown or just a natural looking color.   

Meghan&Rich

egpitt22 said:

Meghan-that makes sense.  I guess for me, sometimes it seems like there is this huge backlash against anything pink and sparkly, and that's what I just don't get. 

And I completely agree...the overall sluttiness of costumes is completely appalling.

I think it definitely seems that way because the real message gets lost in between the two extremes.  Wearing a pink, sparkly Spiderman costume, does not mean you think a girl can only wear a pink sparkly spiderman costume any more than wanting additional options means that you hate all things pink/sparkly.  Unfortunately, I think if you are all about the pink or all about the options, it's going to be perceived that that you are anti- the other side. (if that makes sense)

These types of messages have a huge influence on our kids regardless of how much we filter or control as parents.  If my daughter wants to be the Hulk or my son wants to be a Princess, I will be their biggest fan, supporting them every step of the way...but we cannot ignore how horribly different their experiences are going to be outside of our home.  I don't know that the gender norm obsession is to blame, but it certainly plays a part.

In full disclosure, while I prefer purple to pink, I'm all about the sparkly.  My only backlash against pink things are pink sports team jerseys!  Although, if someone wants to wear a pink Tom Brady shirt, I am okay with that. 

waltsgirl102503

Meghan&Rich said:

These types of messages have a huge influence on our kids regardless of how much we filter or control as parents.  If my daughter wants to be the Hulk or my son wants to be a Princess, I will be their biggest fan, supporting them every step of the way...but we cannot ignore how horribly different their experiences are going to be outside of our home.  I don't know that the gender norm obsession is to blame, but it certainly plays a part.

I think (hope) that this kind of thing will start to end as we become the "older' generation.  My inlaws wouldn't buy my son a pig pillow pet (because we told them he liked pigs) because it was PINK!  The horror!  But, you know, pigs are pink in real life!   So I think they were way more hung up on those gender roles than we are.  I never tell my kids that something is "for girls" or "for boys".  And I try my hardest (in a house full of boys!) to make sure that they know that girls can do anything boys can do.  

Meghan&Rich

waltsgirl102503 said:

Meghan&Rich said:

These types of messages have a huge influence on our kids regardless of how much we filter or control as parents.  If my daughter wants to be the Hulk or my son wants to be a Princess, I will be their biggest fan, supporting them every step of the way...but we cannot ignore how horribly different their experiences are going to be outside of our home.  I don't know that the gender norm obsession is to blame, but it certainly plays a part.

I think (hope) that this kind of thing will start to end as we become the "older' generation.  My inlaws wouldn't buy my son a pig pillow pet (because we told them he liked pigs) because it was PINK!  The horror!  But, you know, pigs are pink in real life!   So I think they were way more hung up on those gender roles than we are.  I never tell my kids that something is "for girls" or "for boys".  And I try my hardest (in a house full of boys!) to make sure that they know that girls can do anything boys can do.  

I do hope that is the case!  When Mason got a play kitchen, I was shocked at some of the responses ("My husband would never let me buy my son a play kitchen." ), but it was nice to hear so many other parents express that their sons enjoyed their play kitchen.

LOL to Pigs are pink in real life!

waltsgirl102503

We have a play kitchen, too, and we heard some of that, too.  I think that if DH were married to a "mousey" woman that my kids may not have had a kitchen.  Because he was a little iffy about it. (he was raised by the people who wouldn't buy a pink pig!)  But, I just make sure that he listens to reason.  

egpitt22

we heard the same comments about the play kitchen!  My MIL gave it to him (it was Brian's little sister's growing up) and someone she knew made a comment about passing it along to Jake   made me sad. 

Don't get me started about some facebook rants and discussions I've seen about boys wearing princess stuff.  I was especially touchy about it last christmas because the thing Jake wanted the most was a cinderella gown...then I turn around and read this discussion on facebook about how no one should let their boys dress up in any type of clothes like that, that it would damage little boys, and some other BS
%-(

egpitt22

we heard the same comments about the play kitchen!  My MIL gave it to him (it was Brian's little sister's growing up) and someone she knew made a comment about passing it along to Jake   made me sad. 

Don't get me started about some facebook rants and discussions I've seen about boys wearing princess stuff.  I was especially touchy about it last christmas because the thing Jake wanted the most was a cinderella gown...then I turn around and read this discussion on facebook about how no one should let their boys dress up in any type of clothes like that, that it would damage little boys, and some other BS
%-(

Meghan&Rich

egpitt22 said:

we heard the same comments about the play kitchen!  My MIL gave it to him (it was Brian's little sister's growing up) and someone she knew made a comment about passing it along to Jake   made me sad. 

Don't get me started about some facebook rants and discussions I've seen about boys wearing princess stuff.  I was especially touchy about it last christmas because the thing Jake wanted the most was a cinderella gown...then I turn around and read this discussion on facebook about how no one should let their boys dress up in any type of clothes like that, that it would damage little boys, and some other BS
%-(

But Emmy, what if you came home and Brian was dressed up like a woman, would you really be okay with that?!?!?! 

egpitt22

Meghan&Rich said:

egpitt22 said:

we heard the same comments about the play kitchen!  My MIL gave it to him (it was Brian's little sister's growing up) and someone she knew made a comment about passing it along to Jake   made me sad. 

Don't get me started about some facebook rants and discussions I've seen about boys wearing princess stuff.  I was especially touchy about it last christmas because the thing Jake wanted the most was a cinderella gown...then I turn around and read this discussion on facebook about how no one should let their boys dress up in any type of clothes like that, that it would damage little boys, and some other BS
%-(

But Emmy, what if you came home and Brian was dressed up like a woman, would you really be okay with that?!?!?! 

hahaha, ahhh....gotta love internet arguments   and the logic (or lack thereof) that some people try to use.

ryanthegirl

egpitt22 said:

we heard the same comments about the play kitchen!  My MIL gave it to him (it was Brian's little sister's growing up) and someone she knew made a comment about passing it along to Jake   made me sad. 

Don't get me started about some facebook rants and discussions I've seen about boys wearing princess stuff.  I was especially touchy about it last christmas because the thing Jake wanted the most was a cinderella gown...then I turn around and read this discussion on facebook about how no one should let their boys dress up in any type of clothes like that, that it would damage little boys, and some other BS
%-(

That made me really sad to read (about the Cinderella gown). He's a little boy who wants to pretend, how dare anyone think they have the right to dictate WHAT he pretends.

egpitt22

Ryan-the saddest part is that we bought the gown (on black friday, sale!) and had it wrapped & ready to go from Santa...then about 3 days before christmas jake came home from school and asked if it was too late to tell Santa that he didn't want it any more   I asked him why and he just shrugged his shoulders and said he didn't want it, but he looked sad.  I have no way of knowing, but my guess is that he mentioned it at school to someone and ended up getting made fun of.  I double checked with him again on christmas eve and said it wasn't too late to make a last request to Santa, but he said no, he still didn't want it. 

He is, however, trying to push Liam into putting it on HIS christmas list this year, so I'm thinking that is to serve a selfish purpose of actually still wanting the gown!

ryanthegirl

I hope Santa brings it for both of them!

kris356

Well, we used to dress my brother up as a girl, princess, and everything else when he was little. He even had his own dolls: a homemade cabbage patch kid named brrrm, brrm (like the sound a car makes) and a My Buddy doll. The kid has 5 sisters and 3 are older. He played "boy stuff" too (legos, cars/trucks, nintendo). He turned out mostly fine, and his fiance is impressed with how well he does picking out gifts and clothes for her. 

erinandrick

I have a 14 year old daughter and costume shopping this year was terrible. She wanted one of the sluty costumes even though she normally dresses very nicely and conservatively. However like previous posters said - when you go in the store and that's all you see then you think that's what your supposed to wear. I of course told her no and we managed to put together our own appropriate version of the same costume through a little creativity but it took so much time, lots of discussions about the appropriateness of costumes, she cried a few times (she is a teenage girl). The last piece of her costume came in the mail today and she is very happy with the final product and I am too but we had to have another discussion about appropriateness because she still thinks I am too strict. I really miss the years when it was as simple as picking which princess to be!!