CPW: here is a depressing topic

ILoveRedVino

Do you know someone IRL (aka not from here) who has gone through a late loss/still birth/Infant loss?

I'm doing research.

Flamingo86

One of my good friends lost her son at 18 weeks about 3 years ago.

ILoveRedVino

I voted yes too. Obviously my own, but I seem to know several people IRL who have gone through it too. And many are fairly recent.

fallbrideoct05

One of my good friends had a loss at 38 weeks 3 years ago.

thecuddleeffect

there are two people at the VERY small school I am subbing at that lost babies, they were stillborn.

amccul20

One if our friends lost a child at childbirth. Their baby girl had a heart defect and they found our late into the pregnancy that she would either be stillborn or pass right after being born.

poppies717

A friend of mine went into labor at 7 months, and their son did not survive. This was before I knew her and her husband.

PinkinProvence

Very close friends lost their son 3 years ago at about 38 weeks. She had to deliver knowing that he had already passed. I am in amazement of their strength, resilience and courage.

They later found out he had a heart condition and could have survived if detected in utero and he had been delivered earlier.

It is heartbreaking and it was the saddest funeral I have ever been to.

mrsskiz

My chiropractor and his wife went through this twice. One healthy baby, one 18 week loss, one healthy baby, one loss (not sure how far along), one healthy baby. Shes trying to talk him into a 4th because she wants a girl after 3 boys and he said no because of his fear of losing another one.

A friend of my brothers lost their daughter at 35 weeks. The baby had a firemans funeral because her father is the fire chief. The mother was pregant again in 3 months. "Per recommendations from her doctor"

LooneyLife

3 acquaintances.

A woman at work delivered her first stillborn.

A high school friend lost both his wife and baby after mom had a medical emergency.  Baby was not full term.

Slightly different situation, but a college friend's BF had a medical emergency and was found at home not breathing.  Baby was full term and delivered via c-section.  Mom did not survive.  Baby was given hypothermia therapy for several days and did survive with no major issues.

katieg520

I voted no, and then I remembered someone I know who did!!! She isn't a close friend of mine, but her husband and I went to high school together and I see them on FB. Their first son was born early and I believe he was not alive at birth. I don't know the specifics. But they just had their second son in August and he is a beautiful, perfectly healthy little boy.

nfp147

My grandmother experienced a stillbirth.  My Dad remembers his mom being pg, going to the hospital, and coming home without a baby. This would have been the late 50s.  It wasn't talked about.  Recently, my Dad and Aunt did some research, found the birth/death records and bought the baby a headstone in the local cemetery. 

My ex-bf's SIL lost a baby at about 6 months (pg).  

PandPMeant2B

My brother and SIL lost their second child at 26 weeks. Her first pregnancy was completely normal. I'm not sure of the specifics because my SIL is very private, but she delivered healthy twins a year later.

LuckyAngel07

Mine was an acquaintance. She lost her baby earlier this year at 19 or 20 weeks. They had an autopsy and found out it would have been a boy (she already has 1 son who will be turning 2 in a couple of weeks).

DH's cousin (not first cousin...something like his mom's cousin's daughter???) has had 2 losses, both in the 1st tri, though. She's pregnant again now and has gotten past finding out gender. I'm hoping so hard this is her sticky baby.

islandmonkey8

My grandmother (mom's mom) had a still birth between my mom and her younger brother. She talks about that little boy all the time.

My mom had a miscarriage between my older sister and myself. I think my dad said she was somewhere late in 1st tri and had to have a d&c.

Xan921

My best girl friend lost two babies, one at 22 weeks and the other at 21 weeks, a little boy and then a little girl. They have a beautiful healthy 2 year old now and are trying for baby # 2.

brij2006

A good friend from high school lost her son at 27 weeks due to lack of amniotic fluid (don't remember the condition).

My cousin lost her boy at 20 weeks last year. They had no reasoning why.

LittleLady77

One of my best friends lost her son at 15 weeks.  I have to admit I was not as sensitive to her feelings as I shoudl have been.  Knowing what I know now I wish I would have been there for her more, not that I was completely insensitive but I wish I just would have been able to listen to her more.  I learn a lot from you ladies.

Xan921

@Littlelady77 I feel the same way. I was supportive but knowing what I know now makes me feel like an asshole for some of the things I said when I thought I was trying to make her feel better.

mrsskiz

LittleLady77 said:

One of my best friends lost her son at 15 weeks.  I have to admit I was not as sensitive to her feelings as I shoudl have been.  Knowing what I know now I wish I would have been there for her more, not that I was completely insensitive but I wish I just would have been able to listen to her more.  I learn a lot from you ladies.

I didnt mean to "love" the child loss or situation. That was a "Love it" for learning a lot from you ladies.

lindsayandjamie

I know a woman at work who delivered a full-term stillborn. 

I have another friend who had to make the difficult decision to terminate at 24 weeks due to a genetic condition that would have been incompatible with life.  She had to leave Canada and go to Colorado to perform the procedure.  She had a healthy son last week almost exactly one year later.

 

MadeOfAwesome

My ex lost his son at 2 months due to SIDS

MadeOfAwesome

Also, one of my supervisors lost his son during childbirth.

MadeOfAwesome

I forgot about another one.  An old friend from HS delivered at 6 months.  The baby passed away shortly after birth.

CincodeMayoLove

One of the foster mom's of one of my kids from work

MRads

One of H's bffs lost a baby at 16 weeks and a childhood friend lost his baby girl last week at 4 weeks old. My dad went to the viewing and showed me the letter they wrote to the attendees. I completely bawled. This baby girl had a brain stem but nothing else, due to catastrophic and irreversible brain damage during delivery. I can't even begin to imagine.

katieg520

Oh, and my social studies teacher in high school's first son died before 6 months old of SIDS.

ljraff29

My aunt (mom's sister) had 2 mc. One she had to deliver.  I was super young so I'm not sure how far along she was. She has two grown boys now.

sgautschi

My cousin lost a baby sometime around 20 weeks. She had just found out she was having a girl. She's now 40 weeks with a baby boy and I'm sending all the positive vibes in the world that he gets here safely.

wiggyslilsis

I know two people possibly three in real life but I did not know them at the time of their loss.

One of my new mom friends is very open about her loss three years ago and she has a friend who had some sort of tragedy happen but she is very private and I am respecting her boundaries.

DH's grandma lost her daughter at around 6 mo to SIDS. She talks to me about her. I don't think anybody IRL listens anymore. Her husband gets very uncomfortable when she talks about her and he gets angry and says she should be over it since it was 40 years ago. I try to make it over there this time of year because I know November is hard for her since it is her daughter's birth month.

TudorRose11

wiggyslilsis said:

DH's grandma lost her daughter at around 6 mo to SIDS. She talks to me about her. I don't think anybody IRL listens anymore. Her husband gets very uncomfortable when she talks about her and he gets angry and says she should be over it since it was 40 years ago. I try to make it over there this time of year because I know November is hard for her since it is her daughter's birth month.

DH's grandmother and aunt both lost daughters only a few days after birth. I don't know the cause, or if they even do.

I hate to hear that your DH's grandma gets so little support. I have never heard DH's aunt speak of her daughter and grandma doesn't do it often, but when she does it's as if it had just happened and she's a young mother again thinking of her little girl. It was almost 60 years ago. There is no time limit on that pain.