Preschool birthday party

MaryM

I have to first say THANK YOU to you ladies. You advised me on my DD's bday party a few months ago and it is much appreciated.

My son will be turning 5 and is in preschool. I want to have an old fashioned at home bday party with just around 5-6 boys he is friends with low key - pinata, musical chairs, pizza. Here is where I have questions:
1. Is it rude to not invite all the boys on his class? Seems like that's what everyone does but there are two boys that are REALLY naughty and though I feel mean to exclude them, we sadly don't want them there.
2. Three of the boys have older siblings that arey DD's age (6) and will they just automatically come? Do I include them? My DD will be there but I kind of want to keep it to just "his" friends. I was thinking of possibly doing it on a preschool day when DD and the older siblings were at school to make it easier ( that way it would be only his friends). DH thinks sis should be there... What would you do?
3. Will the parents stay?

ladies, I appreciate the help! Thank you!!

waltsgirl102503

1. I don't think it's rude.  I know there are mixed feelings on this, but everyone doesn't always get invited to every party.  And I think it's a lot better to start learning that lesson young, than to have the first party you're not invited to happen when you're 16.  By then, it will be much worse.  So I say, as long as you just put an invite in the other kids cubbies and don't purposely make the other two boys feel excluded, invite who you want to invite.

2. I did not invite siblings to DS's party, however, that didn't stop people from just showing up with them.  (And I was short one favor because of this).  I think it's fine for your DD not to be there, I'm sure you're having a family celebration.  Again, I think it's okay for kids to learn that you don't always get to do what your sibling does.  (This is DS' party with HIS friends,and it's okay for him to have this separate from your DD).  

3. Yes, I think with pre-school kids that they will stay.  I still stay at parties and Noah is 8!

Luckystar2

1. Dd's 4th and 5th bday parties were at home parties and I didn't invite all the girls at daycare. I'm with Amber on this. And I did ask on here last year too. Typically most people invite the whole room but most do a venue like a bounce house place. I could not have everyone or even all the girls at our house. Plus dd has a core group of friends who have been friends for a while. I just feel like those were the ones to invite and not just everyone.

I got addresses and mailed invitations since we were not inviting everyone.

2. The sibling thing seems to vary but in our group it seems like they don't come unless specifically invited. Because some had siblings close in age and went to same daycare, a lot of parents would invite siblings. I invited 1 one year because dd specifically asked for her to be invited. But didnt specifically invite another but if they had brought her or asked I would have been ok with it.

3. I can't imagine pre-k parents leaving!

MaryM

Thank you so much for the responses, sooo helpful and just what I needed!

MaryM

waltsgirl102503 said:

.2. I did not invite siblings to DS's party, however, that didn't stop people from just showing up with them.  (And I was short one favor because of this).   i feel like this is rude and I see it all the time!

waltsgirl102503

 I think it's very rude.  I never take Brody to the parties that Noah is invited to.  (and vice versa).  I felt like a real heel telling that little girl that I didn't have enough favors, but the kids who were Noah's friends should have gotten them first.  

MaryM

waltsgirl102503 said:

 I think it's very rude.  I never take Brody to the parties that Noah is invited to.  (and vice versa).  I felt like a real heel telling that little girl that I didn't have enough favors, but the kids who were Noah's friends should have gotten them first.  

Agreed that Noah's friends deserved them first. Frustrating to know think we should have extra favors for "just in case" uninvited guests come. Grrr...

kac

Hi:

I would mail the invitations if not inviting everyone.  Also,at every party we've hosted there have been several uninvited and unexpected siblings, older and younger.They stand there and expect a favor as well and I have yet to have a parent remove the other sibling when I'm giving out the favors -so awkward. So, I always have a few extra favors now, or at least a cookie or something for the potential siblings  I would never expect to have the sibling of the invited boy to be included unless it is a family that we do other things with.  That being said, one Sat. C had a birthday party and I was working.  DH had to take B with him.  The 4th b-day party was at a bowling alley and his plan was to bowl with B away from the party. The mom host invited them to have cake and pizza with the group.  We thought that was really nice and certainly did not expect a favor and DH redirected B when the favors were being given out and explained that it was C's friend's party and not his friend's so no favor.

Yes, parents will stay. 

DomerJenC

1. I wouldn't give out invites through school (mail, email)

2. I wouldn't bring my other child to a party w/o letting the parents know - that said, often times people need to bring both/all their kids to stuff like this just for logistics.  I'd just plan for it since you know who has siblings/what age.  Or just invite them since you know them anyway?  it'd be easier.

3. Parents stay at this age.

kac

Just got back from B's 4th birthday party at the Little Gym.  16 kids and all the parents stayed.  Only a few parents ate cake.  Amazingly, not a single uninvited sibling!  That was a first, just to make me a liar in my response above.

Kristen

MaryM

Thanks Ladies for your responses! Your input is so appreciated

4EvR&4AlWz

We invited all of the kids in her class (it was at our clubhouse).  There were about 7 new kids who joined her class this year for Preschool and I felt that since they just joined, it was hard for them to get to know the other kids and parents since a core group of about 10 of them have been together for years.  Next year, I anticipate just a small group of folks at the party.

The ones who brought siblings brought babies and the others had asked or I offered in advance.  I have taken the baby to other parties before but only after clearing with the parents (especially somewhere like Bounce U where she would be free) and I never take a favor for her.

Parents have always stayed at this age.