Thanksgiving

mammersoh

So I just got off the phone with my SIL to figure out what's going on for Thanksgiving. It's looking like we are once again going to eat with Greg's family, and then immediately leave to go to my grandparents for dinner. I HATE having to split the day up. I don't feel like I get to spend enough time with either side of the families and our day is spent driving all over.

One year we did have Thanksgiving dinner the Sunday before Thanksgiving with Greg's family because his dad was going out of town that week. I though we were in the clear and would be able to spend all day with mine. We still ended up going over to see his sisters because we felt bad we weren't all together.

So what do you guys do? Do you alternate years? If you do, does any one complain? My mom would flip if we didn't make an appearance. Or do you run around like I do to make everyone happy?

court115

My mom had a mental breakdown a few years ago about holidays so now Thanksgiving is designated as my family's holiday. I would love to go to H's family's Thanksgiving too (because everyone else does but us) but it's just too much running around. They do Thanksgiving in New Castle and my parents are in Bethany. I just refuse to do that much driving on a day when all I want to do is stuff my face until I can't button my pants.

Holidays are stressful as an adult.

mana8503

We base it on what Holiday Jeff gets the kids.  This year is Thanksgiving, so we will be in NC.  Then Christmas will be with my family, and we'll go down to NC that Saturday until new years.  Next year will be here for Thanksgiving, I might offer to host.  Then we will do Christmas with my family the weekend before and be in NC Christmas Eve. 

Sometimes I wish we could run around and see everyone, but I'll probably be happy it's this way when we have kids. 

MIL gives us a guilt trip EVERY YEAR.  Unless we are with her EVERY holiday she's not happy.  Heaven forbid we spend something with mine.   /rant

mammersoh

@amcourt090 My mom went crazy too one year when I started talking about alternating so we dropped it. Her birthday sometimes falls on Thanksgiving too, so it's like a double whammy of guilt that she puts on us.

court115

@philaphan - it's so stupid! And it really annoys me because my parents used to live up here full time and they made the decision to move 2 hours away from everyone. Then my mom gets all pissy that we're not around them all of the time. YOU MOVED! Did you expect us all to follow you?? She's having a really hard time with the fact that Teddy will have his first Christmas in my in-laws' house since we'll be living there at that time. Relax it Mom. Teddy won't even remember this Christmas.

PS sorry that this turned into a rant about my mom. I'm selfish. I stole your post

uderin02

We always do Thanksgiving with my mom, brother, SIL, niece and nephew. My brother hosts it. We usually stop by my Dad's house on our way back from doing a 5K in Wilmington to have a quick drink before getting ready to go to dinner. We never see my in-laws because I refuse to skip my 5K (I've done it every year since 1996) and they insist on eating early, like noon. They also live 2 hours away and I normally work Black Friday so we'd have to come back the same day.

mammersoh

@amcourt09 hahaha it's ok! I have enough crazy mom stories to last me a lifetime too. Last year we were fighting the entire month of November so that made for an extra special Thanksgiving. My mom was mad too because I lived with my grandparents and they got to be there on Christmas Day with A.

@uderin02 I think I'm about to start doing a 5k just so I don't have to deal with this crap!

amccul20

so holidays are the one time of year i'm happy that both of our families don't live within driving distance to each other.

we switch back and forth for Thanksgiving and Christmas between both families. so when we do christmas in ohio we do thanksgiving in PA and then it switches the next year. we've stuck very firm to this plan and nobody seems to have a problem with it.

I imagine when the baby comes it will be harder.

and we are not doing thanksgiving in Ohio this year because I just can't deal with the drama between my mom and sister and i'll be in Ohio in January when my sister gives birth. and that would be too much traveling, money, and time away from work.

klm42404

We are very lucky for holidays. 

We do both sides for Thanksgiving.  But it works b/c my family eats at 3 and DH's family eats at 5 (which means 6) for them.  We just have dessert with them anyway.  DH likes my families food better anyway.    His aunt and uncle just moved to a house about 5 minutes from us so it makes it more convenient. 

Christmas Eve is when all my family and family friends all gets together at my parent's house.  Normally around 60 people.   DH's family celebrates Christmas Day which we will do at our house.  My parents and sister come down in early afternoon and we exchange gifts with them.  Then they will have appetizers and visit with DH's family before going to my aunts.  DH's family stays for dinner, gifts, etc. 

s517

Try having divorced parents and one lives far away but tries to come for holidays. It gets fun.

 

We usually alternate Thanksgiving, but I'm pushing for this year bc my sister is coming home. Also, we do Xmas dinner with his family, so I think I get Thanksgiving. Christmas I invite everyone for the morning (even though I know his parents won't come...score) and then we go to his family's house. Last year I had Easter, which I plan on doing again, so we invite everyone. Pretty much we do a draft around this time of year.."I'll trade you Thanksgiving for Xmas morning..."

 

Oh, and then my mom comes into town. I can't even explain how we juggle that one.

janma529

We've always done Thanksgiving with H's family in York, even when we were dating.  He actually went by himself last year because my sister went into labor and I wanted to be here instead.  But it will be back to the old routine this year.

mrsskiz

Ugh, its a debate every single year. MIL is so wishy washy about it because she always waits to see what SIL and BIL are doing like 2 weeks before Thanksgiving. Then we plan our day around that, which is worse because they ALWAYS show up at least an hour late. We were all sitting down at the table last Christmas waiting when they show up last year and floated in like they were early.

 If FIL is working on Thanksgiving we do Thanksgiving with my family then Christmas dinner with his. Or if my mom is doing Christmas dinner at her house than we do Thanksgiving with DH's family where ever it might be. MIL will only cook if FIL is not working.

But Christmas breakfast is always at our house. Its been tradition with extended family that whom ever has the youngest children has Christmas breakfast (so the little ones arent ripped away from their presents right away), now since our extended family has gotten so big everyone does their own thing then gets together for dinner.

So far the plan this year is Thanksgiving with IL's, then dessert and drinks with mine because they eat later and there is an hour distance between houses.

Christmas this year is still up in the air. I cooked Thanksgiving last year and we had brunch with IL's for Christmas and Christmas dinner with my family because it was at my moms house. So its looks like IL's are in the top spot for our holidays this year. Normally Im not pushy about dinner for holidays unless its at my moms house which is not every year so DH gets a lot of wiggle room.

beebe918

We do apps with the in-laws, dinner with my mom's family and dessert with my dad and grandmother.  I don't mind the running around though, I like being able to see everyone.

Olalala157

This kind of makes me sad but I feel like my dad broke the family rule last year by not coming to Christmas. Its like we had this unwritten rule in the family that we always spend the holidays together but last year they didnt come because my dad's FI has 2 dogs and 2 cats they didnt feel like traveling 2 hours to our house. They didnt care to find someone to watch them either.

 Ever since then all our holidays have felt diluted. Were iffy if they're going to come to Thanksgiving now because his FI started a new job working directly with Melania Trump so she woks from 9am-7pm every day and thats a 1 hour commute into Manhattan each way. I think we may end up going to BIL's gf's parents house because I dont feel like cooking. As long my family of 3 is together thats all I care about really.