First appointment/ Ultrasound (long)

brij2006 · November 2013

First I'm going to start with this. You girls are just plain amazing! I was telling H on the drive home from our appointment that I couldn't believe how much support internet strangers can give. Then he reminded me that some of our best friends started out as internet strangers (from his car club forum). So you girls are amazing and I thank you so much for the thoughts, prayers, and support.

So here's how today went. We went in for the ultrasound and the tech first started with the abdominal one. She let me know that my uterus leans back and she couldn't get a clear shot of it. So she switched to transvaginal. Then she let us know what each organ was and then "got to the good stuff." She showed us the gestational sac and stated that it was good to see. Then that the little blob inside was baby. She then zoomed in and said she would try to get us a full on shot of baby. That's where it began. She asked me if I was sure on the date of my last period. I let her know that we went through a round of Clomid and had an u/s to measure follicles at one point and I had beta's drawn at exactly 4 weeks. So my dates are correct and noted in my chart. She then let us know that baby is measuring at 5w6d. She said that it could have been conceived at a different date than we had thought, but that there wasn't a heartbeat yet.

She could tell H and I were choking back tears and said she would let me get dressed and give us a few minutes.

Then we met with the midwife. She said that she wants me to come back in a week to have another u/s done to compare to this one. That way they can see if there is any growth. If it is not, then we will discuss D&C at that point. She also said that there were signs of a twin at some point, but the u/s wasn't 100% clear on that. I then let her know about what came out in the shower on Sunday and that I had it with if she wanted to see it or doing further testing. She let us know that she could if we wanted her to and request it, but it is entirely up to us. We decided to not have it tested. We know what it could have been, and we're just going to leave it at that. I don't think I can emotionally handle being confirmed that it was.

So yeah, that's where we're at for now.... Waiting. H is very optimistic that maybe the twin was pulling from the other one, and this one that is left will now grow normally. But I'm mentally prepared for being told the worst next week.

Then to put the cherry on top, we had our parenting class at church tonight. The topic was Fear for your children, and it went on to explain how it begins at conception. H and I decided to make it open to our church family about our struggles, pregnancy, and today's u/s. We knew we couldn't make it through this topic without losing it, and everyone wondering why we were crying. They were amazingly supportive.

On the plus side, I had lost 5 pounds between my last appointment at about 3 weeks and now. lol. Guess there's a bright side to every story, right?

Emeraldeyed315 · November 2013

I'm so sorry you have to wait. I'll say a prayer for you and am hoping for the best outcome!

fallbrideoct05 · November 2013

Ugh more waiting. I'm sorry, I wish I had something earth shattering and extremely profound to say but I don't. Keep us posted and I'll keep you guys in my thoughts and prayers.

skreedrake · November 2013

Oh, brij. I'm so sorry you didn't have a better appointment, but I'm hoping that there is some growth at next week's ultrasound. I will be thinking of you.

sgautschi · November 2013

I'm glad to hear that you have your perfect little baby all snuggled up in there and I hope your next ultrasound brings you better news. Grow baby grow! I will be thinking of you! ((Hugs))

saisongbird · November 2013

Waiting is the hardest part - but if you're not even 6 weeks yet, it can definitely be too early to see a heartbeat! But it's great that you saw a sac. FX that everything keeps developing as it should and that at your next appt you get to see and/or hear a hb! We didn't get to hear the hb until 9 weeks, but we got to see it at 7 - it looked like two pixels flashing off and on. Just remember - today you are pregnant, and today you love your baby.

spin25 · November 2013

I'm so sorry you're going through this and wish you didn't have to spend more time waiting for an answer. Fx for good news next week.

brij2006 · November 2013

saisongbird said:

Just remember - today you are pregnant, and today you love your baby.

I love that! Thank you for reminding me of that.

wiggyslilsis · November 2013

Thank you for the update. FX that your husband's optimism is correct. Sorry you are stuck waiting but I am hoping for the best.

cinderin · November 2013

I am sorry. I will be thinking of you and hoping it is good news.

DangerMuffin23 · November 2013

I'm so sorry you didn't get a clear answer brij. I'm rooting for dh's idea of the twin. I'm still hoping for the best. Big huge hugs and prayers.

PinkinProvence · November 2013

Sorry that you didn't get any answers today. Praying that you get great news next week.

bridget0117 · November 2013

I'm sorry you are going through this but I will be keeping you in my t&p's and hoping for good news next week.

vitan · November 2013

I'm sorry that you have no definitive answers and have to wait. Though it was tough, I think it was a good thing to be open with church and have that extra support. Faith truly helps when you feel there's nothing else. Fingers crossed for good news next week. I'll pray for you.

Uptowngirl2009 · November 2013

I am so sorry that you didn't get any answers. I will continue sending T & Ps for you!

JLyn821 · November 2013

Brij, so many prayers for you, your H, and your LO. I'm sorry your appointment didn't go well, but I'll be praying you see growth and a heartbeat next week! (((hugs)))