Update on H and I

mrshall1027

H and I are doing sooooo much better!  We had a "come to Jesus" meeting and laid everything out to each other.  I explained how much it was hurting me when he would talk down to me and that I was not going to allow it anymore.  He promised to work on his communication and make an effort to not use offensive language.  I can see that he's really working on his communication and I've been trying harder to not shut down and just hold in all my thoughts and feelings.  I think this whole situation has made us stronger and actually grow closer together.

We haven't gone to see a counselor yet, mainly because our schedule is pretty crazy right now, but also because we want to try to work this out together before involving a third party.  I'm just glad that H has been so open to receiving my concerns and wants to put the effort towards becoming better people together.  I knew there was a reason I feel in love with him in the first place!

Side update: It looks like we are going to start TTC again soon!  I've been dealing with some medical issues, but we have a good plan in place now.  I'll be taking my first dose of Clomid soon and we'll see how it goes.  I have a TMJ surgery scheduled for next month but I don't know if I actually want to go through with it yet.  For some reason, I am a lot more nervous about this surgery than I was about my breast reduction.  Plus, having the surgery will push back TTC more and we've been ready since the beginning of the year, so needing to wait more would suck.

mana8503

I'm so glad you guys are doing better and working it out!

Good luck on TTC!!!  Can't wait to see you update on our Tuesday posts, but I would get the surgery over with and that way you don't have to worry about it and baby.  I know you mentioned you're deductible has be reached, so it's a good time.  How much would it push back your TTC plans?

goatlady12

I'm happy you updated us and really happy that things are going great!  Sounds like you are doing a great job of working this out without a counselor. 

I hope you don't have to have surgery again or for a while.  Recovering is no fun at all! 

ramstein1027

Yay!  I have been wondering so I'm glad you posted an update.  Marriage isn't about not hitting rough patches, it's about how you work through them together.  Good for you guys!

I know how you feel about waiting TTC, I secretly wish we would have an "accident" here. We're waiting until next year (for some unknown reason, really just arbitrarily picked that date.  I'm getting antsy too!!

WillyH19

This is such a great update, yay! I'm so glad to hear you guys are communicating better.

islandmonkey8

I'm happy to hear things are better between you and your husband! I hope it keeps getting better.

brainybrunette

I'm so glad that things are better between you and H : )

Good luck TTC and with the TMJ surgery if you end up having it.

xxjen015

I'm so happy that things are better! I know it has to be a load off of your mind to not have to worry. 

I agree with Mana...if you've already met your deductible and it's something you need done, shouldn't you get it out of the way so that you're not having to go through it with a LO?

DanaOcNy

So happy to hear this great update!!

sjs1013

I am happy that things are better with you and your H!  I would get the TMJ surgery now too before your deductible resets and you may have to pay more out of pocket.

mrshall1027

Thanks everyone :-) Not wanting to do the surgery is more based on my fear and not wanting to deal with recovering again. Plus, I'll have to do a lot of physical therapy afterwards. It's just not going to be a pleasant experience.  If we do try this cycle, I'll know if I'm pregnant or not a little before the surgery, so I can cancel if needed. I know the surgery is needed, but I just don't want to have it :-\ I'd need to recover for three months before trying. 

xxjen015

It may be ignorance on my part, but what would make you have to wait 3 months after? 

mrshall1027

That's what my doctor told me. I think it's pretty long, but it may be due to needing pain meds for a while because it will be a painful recovery. 

mana8503

But would you want to have a 3 month recovery and watching a baby/toddler?

mrshall1027

mana8503 said:

But would you want to have a 3 month recovery and watching a baby/toddler?

Definitely not, which is the same reason I had the BR surgery done now.  I guess I'm debating whether to have the surgery period, either now or down the road.  I don't know why, but I'm scared of getting it done.  I guess more scared of the recovery and the physical therapy involved.

I keep flip flopping, but right now I'm leaning towards just getting it done so I can get it over with and not worry about it anymore.  I'm going to put a decision deadline for Monday, or else I'll just keep debating it.