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Help me...My husband wont stop Drinking
Im in some serious need of GOOD advice! (bare with me as I need to explain my story) My husband and I were together for 3 years before getting engaged, then we were engaged for 3 years before getting married. We've been married for about a year and half; he didn't use to drink but about 2 years before getting married he moved to AZ to go to school and get a degree (we lived apart). Of course the guys he befriended drank which gave him an open door. After graduating he found his dream job and we moved to CO. After 1.5 years at the new job the shop closed down and he was laid off, we struggled for about 6 months till he started at his new job (which is much better). During our 6 month struggle he worked at a liquor store for 3 months...which is when the problem really started. He was spending $$$ every month in booze and finally I had enough and we had a full out fight about it. I threated to put him in AA, as much as he drank it wasnt a matter of him being "drunk" but rather the amount could not be healthy and the pocketbook was really being strained. He realized his problem and said he would stop, well that lasted till he got the new job (the good job) but I think he felt cause he was making better money he could afford the habit again 
I let it go for a while until my patience reached it's threshold and got into it again, he threw his debt card at me and said, "There now I cant use it". I did hold it for a while but I told him that's not how I wanted to do things, I should be able to trust him and not manage him like a teenager. We made an agreement about 2 months ago to only purchase and consume alcohol on the weekends (unless special occasions). Over the last 3 weeks he has been pushing the envelope yet once again; buying it on a thursday and saying that he will give up a weekend day (which never happens). We recently had some large purchases as well as an unexpected visit to the ER (which is very costly). This last pay period I told him NO MORE extra spending till we get paid cause we were going to have only enough for bills and gas. Well he had bought a LARGE vodka bottle and said that would last him the 2 weeks (which I knew wouldnt happen becuase I knew he was going to drink it everyday) SURE ENOUGH he's been drinking it every day...so it lasted him a week and just last night he bought more vodka and I confronted him calmly and asked him why he kept doing this and that it needs to stop. He said he would try......I just don't know what to do, I don't know how to make a change. Any advice would be appreciated.
Re: Help me...My husband wont stop Drinking
He's got a problem WITH drinking.
There is peer pressure, plus he is drinking too much AND it is causing you and he to argue.
It's time for you to get to AlAnon and time for him to get to AA. His drinking can escalate into full blown alcoholism.
What I would tell him, if I were you -- and stick to your guns:
"I love you but not your drinking. You are to get to AA and get a sponsor and get a grip on your drinking or it's over between us. Choose now; it's the booze or me."
And if he doesn't get his ass to AA immediately, you leave. SImple as that.
There are meetings everywhere and even if it is too late to get to a meeting, I am sure AA has a number you can call to speak to somebody immediately.
1 (800) 570 4562 is the number.
There are hotlines for each state, I believe.
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Actually, it doesn't matter what the alcohol is. A 6 oz glass of wine has the same alcohol content as a shot of liquor or a regular beer. Light beer has less. It's all about alcohol content.
This is where it is at: he's goit a problem with alcohol.
As I said: there is peer pressure plus he can't seem to put a limit on what he is drinking. He's also manipulating his wife and they are arguing about his drinking: hence, he has a problem with alcohol.
He needs to get to AA to get his drinking under control. As I said also, it is possible his drinking can escalate into full blown alcoholism.
I found a very good quote today in the "you comment" section; the on line article was about drug addiction and how tough it is to find treatment centers in our state:
"Your loved one is capable. Think of how cunning, creative, and manipulative the addict is when they're trying to cop drugs....they can apply the same towards sobriety".
He isn't a drug addict and he isn't copping drugs, but the context of the quote still applies to your H: if he can find creative ways to get ahold of booze and find creative ways to bend all of the rules and whys and wherefores, he can apply the same to getting his drinking under control.
Sorry, I'm not terribly eloquent today. I wish you both the best of luck.
Ditto HERE!
He needs to be GONE! How in heck did you manage to overlook the fact that this guy's got some kind of an addiction????
And how is it that you didn't flat out leave his drunk ass once you realized he loved booze more than you???
This is skewed and just plain nuts...and I am guessing you are not in AlAnon and he is NOT under the care of a drug and alcohol counselor/AA sponsor. This is a whole other thread in itself.
you need to get rid of him, posthaste: You've got 2 or 3 dealbreakers, right there.