"So how's married life?"

Lilyrose4242

So H and I have been married for just over two months now and I've been getting this question from just about everyone. It's starting to annoy me. My response has simply become, "Not much different from when we were dating."
Did anyone else get this question over and over again? If so, when does it end?
Also, does anyone have a creative or witty response to this?

Sillygirl45

I got it over and over. It seemed to start waning after 6 months to a year. I just said "fine" until it went away. Any clever response I could think of wasn't appropriate.

Kimbus22

"Good, thanks.  How are you?"

TattieSoup

I'm sorry this bothers you because it goes on for quite a while. I still get it after 2 years but I don't mind people asking. You have to remember that people intend to be kind.

When I was first married and someone asked me this I loved it, it was like a little boost of pleasure to be reminded that I was married and that people recognised my married status. I always ask my newly married friends this. For me it is just a way of asking "How are you, how is life?" while acknowledging that they have recently had an important life event. I'm not really intending to ask specifically about the state of their marriage.

Having said that, my first year of marriage was really hard and occasionally when a friend asked me this I used it as an opening to say "Well actually, not so good, my husband is unemployed and we are fighting about housework and money." I was grateful for the chance to open up and talk about it and some of my friends who had been through rough patches in their own marriages were able to reassure me that it would pass and help me see that underneath the surface everything was still ok. When we got married, as well as making a commitment to my husband, we had a part of the service where our friends and family were asked to help us keep our vows and support our relationship going forward. For me, asking "How's married life?" was how some of those friends kept that promise to us and I deeply and genuinely appreciate that they did.

TattieSoup

Accidental double post

lfk2013

I get it a lot...it bugs me more from people who have asked repeatedly...like they think things are going to change.

SmrBrd2012

I get it sometimes. Its a little annoying since not much has changed but as other posters are saying, they're just trying to make conversation. I've been guilty of it too. Itll stop eventually. Which will probably coincide with "so when are you having kids?" inquiries.

jessica490

Yea, just wait until you start getting asked about kids. That is more annoying (especially since I've told the world we are never having any!)

 

But yea, the marriage comments stopped around 1 year for us. It got old quick.

BulgariHeart

Not annoying, I get to tell the story of how unbelievably awesome married life is. How is it the same? this kind of larger than life special bond wasn't there before! Something amazing was there, but this is deeper. I didn't get asked very often though, usually it was the other person who just told me how happy I looked and it must have been thanks to married life

R.Wilsonny

I think some people ask this as a way to open up the conversation or make small talk. I've been married 2 years and together with my H for 10 years total and we still get asked how married life is. I say just roll with it

Beads921

I hate this question too. Like really, how do they think it is? My husband and I were 1 month short of 2 years of joint home ownership when we said "I do". Married life is exactly the same as life before. I feel somewhat awkward saying that though, like it should be different or somehow better.

BulgariHeart

We tied the knot on our 14 1/2 years mark, we had been living together around the world for 12 1/2 of those years and being married still felt different. It changed us as a unit, as far as we're concerned and as far as the rest of the world is concerned.

MrsChanceW

I was married a little over four month's ago and get this question all the time too. The truth is nothing has really changed since we lived together for a few years before we were married. I just always answer "Awesome" Because it was awesome when I was dating him, awesome when we were shacking it up, and it is still awesome now that I am married to him. Because love is awesome no matter what stage it's in.

Sigmatam

I have to laugh.  I've been married a total of about 32 hours and I've been asked that questions about 30 times.  I wish I had some entertaining answer, but our general opinion as of now is "weird."  Not because we see each other differently, but because everyone else percieves us as being different.  The biggest change is zoning out and not responding to my married name.  I just automatically assumed a family friend was referring to his mother.

jtmh2012

To me, I think this is more just like people saying "Hello, how are you today?" while recognizing that you just had a big life event.  Most people just want a "Great!  How are you?" back versus a listing of everything that's changed in your life.

josscal

This is nothing compared to the 'are you pregnant?' question every time you don't feel well or are tired.

To answer your question, I still get it a lot especially from people I haven't seen in a while- but it doesn't bother me, just another way of asking 'how have you been' to me

Wife Kitty

I think asking, "So, how's married life?" is much less obnoxious than asking, "So, how's everything? You're still married?"

My mom thought it was funny to ask me that question every time she saw me for three to four months after our wedding. She always said it with a smile. I think it was a game to her. Thankfully, she finally got bored and stopped.

It was probably just her way of checking in with me to make sure I was happy, since she's been married three times herself and has openly admitted that she knew her first marriage was a mistake even as she was walking down the aisle to go through with it anyway. But sheesh - I'm not her! Not only that, but I wonder what on earth she would have said if I'd told her, "Actually, Mom, no; we're not still married. We've decided we made a mistake." Especially since she and my stepdad were the ones who paid for most of the wedding.

LeahMI

I still get it a lot and we've been married for almost a year and a half. People are generally just being kind and hoping the best for us, but my response is usually pretty vague.

 

Although I have to admit, I've committed this crime too. I ask my newly-married friends that question all the time. Really, my goal is to make sure everything is going well (they didn't live together before marriage) and that they're happy and adjusting well to married life.

courtneykalob

This question bothers me too! Like many others said we lived together a couple years prior to getting married (that's when the biggest changes happened for us). As far as changes now, we have joint bank accounts, that's been fun to manage...but who wants to hear about that?! 

Another question I don't like is "How was the wedding?" Now I completely get that people are just curious and want to be included. (Usually this comes from coworkers & classmates.) But I always answer it, "well nothing went wrong, so I guess that is good." It sort of makes me crazy that I can't come up with anything better than that, but it was special to me and my husband. I just don't feel like sharing mushy details with coworkers.

ShahzadZafar

Hi all,

That's just what i want to listen and review from you all, the matter is, how we spend our spare time with our partner. In my opinion men are more open minded against women in giving value, regarding the time. The modern day is more diversified and outbound factors are wearily entering into our lives. The eternal bond is quite obvious to do so, with your partner. Thus understanding what he/ she wants to be, without some verbal. 

As far as my concerns, my partner is quite satisfied with my relation, but the matter of family, the baby plans and other stuff, i am not much justified, wanna enjoy some half of decade, regardless of sexual relationship impression. More outdoor entertainment is my main goal actually.

skaitlin

I have been married for 3 1/2 months. 

I just say something along the lines of, "Well, we haven't killed each other yet.". People know it's a joke so it gets a good laugh. I will also just be honest and say, "People keep asking us that and honestly, we are still adjusting to being a married couple, but we love it." 

They will stop eventually. It's kinda like when you get engaged and the first couple months people seem to expect you to have the entire wedding figured out already. 

NerdyLucy

DH and I got married on our 12th dating anniversary, so this question always slightly amuses me. I usually answer with something like, "Great, just like the last 12 years have been." I mean, nothing changed overnight.

Laurmi

I think it's just an easy question for people to ask....not the most exciting conversation starter, but an acknowledgement that you recently went through a huge life change and they are simply wondering how things are going. 

I generally just respond by saying "amazing" or "it's great!" because well, it is!

Laura 

yellowdaisies84

I think it's usually people being polite, wanting to make conversation with you and show that they are interested in how you are doing and excited for you that there has been a big change in your life. I've been asked this many times but didn't feel annoyed and didn't even consider that some people could be annoyed by this. I usually say, "Really great! It's awesome!" and I get to smile and share how happy being married makes me. But, depending on who's asking I've also joked around in my answer too. 

I have found that, in general, the questions people will ask you during small-talk are usually things that they don't really care about the answer to, they are just trying to be polite and ask you about something they assume that you'd like to be asked about and have a little conversation with you. They might not know much else that is going on in your life so take it as a sign that you should open up to them and share a little more about your interests and life so that they know there is more going on for you than just your new marital status!

lfk2013

I think I got this question 15 times yesterday at DH family's Christmas Tree Cutting Party.  Plus 1 "When are y'all having babies?"  Towards the end, I started in with the snarky answer..."I haven't killed him yet."

jenrundle

We have been married for about 6 months and this is an annoying question.  With all that news about that woman pushing her husband off a cliff after a week of being married I simply reply, "Well I have not pushed him off a cliff yet so we are doing pretty well!"

ChaoswithGrace

Ha, the news of that entire thing came out while we were on our honeymoon. I can't even explain the text messages from my sisters and mother joking -- "don't go near any cliffs"

NDBia2013

I seriously feel you. I think I actually asked one person after hearing it the whole week "was it supposed to change?" I tell everyone that, the only change that I had was getting used to a new last name and signing it. Me and hubby lived together two years before getting married, we had everything adjusted and we were already used to each others odd little habbits that there was no "omg he put the toilet paper on the thing backwards!" or anything like that.

I agree with someone though, I think they mean well... but well meaning or not it can get really frustrating sometimes.

The other annoying question "now that you're married when are you having kids" I get a shock when I say we are in absolutely no hurry, I couldn't imagine taking a kid to Ireland when me and the hubby intend to do some drinking that way! We want to live our life and then have a kid when we don't feel such selfish desires like staying up all night gaming or going on a trip.