I didn't realize there were so many of us...

LittleD8081

that lost our moms so soon.  Having lost mine just 42 days ago (but who's counting?), the wound is still fresh.  Man, it's the hardest thing I've ever had to cope with.  And being the executor of the will, and her dying unexpectedly, there is so much to do.  We're still cleaning out her house, tying up loose ends, taking care of business...when all I want to do is grieve.  The worst part in all of this is knowing that my children will never know my mother the way I know her (and I read that most of you feel the same thing!).  They loved her so much, and she lived for them.  She spent the night every Monday and saw the kids throughout the week, too.  They miss her, and say the right things (she's an angel, she's in heaven)...but, they still ask if she's coming over today.  *sigh*  I miss my best friend.  I don't think I'll ever have a relationship with someone the way I did with her (phone calls about nothing, calling each other so many times a day that you feel the phone is growing out of your ear, making excuses for seeing each other, etc.).  I guess I just want to know what life is like for you all that have lost your moms.  I just see a huge hole in my future... 

Meghan&Rich

I am so sorry for your loss, Dawn.  My heart goes out to you.

Jcubed2003

Dawn - there is a hole, but having children helps. My Mom died 8 (OMG has it been that long) years ago. Now that my son is older (he will be 4) I find myself telling him stories about his Oma. How much I know she would have loved him, etc. I find that talking about her actually helps me to feel closer to her. I agree that losing your Mom is one of the hardest things a young woman would have to endure. I have a sister to lean on, so that helps. I was also the executrix and whatnot. She was also with me when she passed away (unexpectedly), so I had the added responsibility of telling people. That day is one I would really like to forget. I hope that you can find some sort of comfort as you are working through all of this. -Jodie

egpitt22

I'm sorry, Dawn   I can't imagine what a devastating loss it must be to both you and your boys. 

kris356

Dawn, I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine the pain you are in.

valkaz

I'm so sorry, Dawn. I cannot imagine the pain that comes with losing your mother. Big hugs to you, and you know how to find me if you need anything.

psychgalbride

Sending you huge hugs. There simply is not a loss comparable to losing one's mother. I lost my mom 19 years ago when I was 17.  I knew never what it was like to have a mom as an adult so I can't comment on how the adjustment there will be.  I will say that although people say "time heals all wounds" there will forever be a piece of your heart missing.  If you haven't already picked up a copy of Hope Edelman's Motherless Daughters and Motherless Mothers, do so.  Those books helped normalize the situation and my feelings better than the years of therapy.  There are several Facebook support groups and a local group at The Good Grief Center in Squirrel Hill on Thursday nights that you may find helpful in the future.  I found the first year after the loss the hardest and then during my pregnancies when you just want to be able to call your mom for advice, a shoulder to cry on, or just that unconditional love only a mom can provide.  

Jefsnickerdodle

I have not lost my mom, though we are lucky she is here with a close call, but DH lost his mom when he was13. it kills me. If he talks about alot her I cry. We went to the cemetery the first time together I cried. If Adam talks about Grandma Maryann in Heaven I cry.  I tear up just writing this and I never even met her! My mom and I are not nearly as close as you two were but I can't even imagine.  Keeping you in my thoughts Dawn!

smynings_bride

Sending you hugs.

I lost my dad 6 years ago and have the same sort of feelings.  He and I were very close in part b/c my parents were divorced so had a separate relationship with him than I had with my mother.  I was also the executrix of his will, and had to sell my childhood home from 800 miles away.  I know what you mean about having time to grieve but you are grieving, just maybe in shorter bouts when you have time.  It does eventually get easier--you go from thinking about it every minute to every hour to every day to every other day, etc.  Yet, there are still times I get emotional about it and cry on the way to work.  My dad never got to walk me down the aisle or meet my daughter and that breaks my heart.  Every milestone is bittersweet after you lose a parent.  I'm Jewish and our tradition is to name a child after the dearly departed as a way of honoring their memory, often just using the same first letter of the name.  My daughter's name is very similar to my dad's name and I've recently explained her that she's named after grandpa and then she asked me if he was coming over to visit her.  Oy.

LittleD8081

Thank you, everyone for your comments.  Having others thinking about me is a big help.  I feel so alone, even though there are so many supportive people out there for me.  It really does help to know that this pain will change at some point. 

denalea

I'm so sorry, Dawn.  I've been thinking about you and praying for you often, especially with the holidays coming up.  I know that no day is ever easy, but I know holidays and milestones are particularly hard.

lilly25

I am so sorry for your loss