Newlyweds Unite!

skaitlin

Hey everyone, I am new to the boards, and new to marriage. 

My husband and I have been married for 3 1/2 months (a couple for 6 years). I just wanted to jump on here and chat with other newlyweds and see how it's going. 

Is it what you thought it would be? Any unexpected challenges? Any unexpected perks? 

For me, the biggest unexpected challenge has been health issues. My husband and I have been so sick on and off with various things and it has quickly affected our intimacy. But we are working it out and we definitely don't place a huge priority on the physical side of our relationship. It was just not how we pictured our lives in the bedroom, if you will, as newlyweds.

The biggest perk for me right now, granted I am very new to marriage, is just being able to stay with my husband each night. We didn't live together before marriage, so this is something I am still excited about.

aud5879

Congratulations!!  I am newly married too, 23 days!    We haven't had to face any challenges yet, I am thankful for that.  The biggest perk for me is that we are both so happy.  When we first started dating H always said "I am never getting married", mainly because his parent's marriage was/is so miserable.  They just aren't happy together, always fighting.  In my heart I knew he didn't really mean it, he just needed someone to love him enough and show him things can be so much better than what he grew up with.   

Belthil

Congratulations! I'm newly married too, around 2.5 months. It's been wonderful. I agree that the biggest perk is sleeping beside H at night. We've lived together on-and-off throughout our relationship (4.5 years) due to school and work. But now we're both graduated and (fingers crossed) it seems like my job is going to keep me local.

Living together prior to the wedding was a good thing for us. By the time the wedding came around most of our quirks had been exposed. My dad wanted us to postpone the wedding a year so we could live together for longer, just to make sure.

skaitlin

Thanks for sharing ladies! I love hearing about other newlyweds!  Congratulations to both of you! 

I definitely think it's interesting how different each relationship is. 

Has anyone else been pestered about babies yet?

Sillygirl45

Awe, you guys are all so cute! H and I have been married 3 years, together for 5. 

It just made me laugh that a couple of you like how you can sleep side by side now. H and I seriously had sleep fights for the first year. I would wake up to him pushing me and he would tell me I was hitting him or suffocating him. I was really ready to do the old fashioned twin beds or just have our own rooms at one point! We did end up learning to sleep together, but a king sized bed helped a lot! 

Congrats to all of you!

skaitlin

@Sillygirl45

Oh believe me, we have had our share of sleep fights. He steals the covers and kicks me. I push him out of the way almost nightly. It's something we laugh about the next day. Usually.

We are hoping to invest in a kind size bed soon. 

lplions

Hi! I'm a newlywed too, just over a month for us. Reading this has made me laugh - and SO glad that we invested in a king size bed from the start! We didn't live together (at least not in the "normal couple style" (aka sleeping in the same bed)) before we got married.

So far, no major fights, but I attribute that to just being so freaking happy that we're actually in the same place finally - we were long distance for about 2 years (we've been together 3 years in January). 

Belthil

We definitely had a couple of bed fights. I like to steal all the blankets despite overheating every night and he slowly takes over the bed. I wake up cocooned in the blankets with a sliver of the mattress while he's cold and is spread out over the entire bed most mornings. We currently have a double and that's about as big as we can fit in our bedroom but luckily we've become used to it. Now that winter has hit I'm going to throw an extra blanket in the basket beside the bed for him.

tbarber87

Love this - we have been married for almost 2 months and we have "bed fights" as well.  He's jokingly asked many times when I will be able to go back home so he can have "his" bed back

 

Loving married life - dealing with the petty arguments and making that fun decision of when we should start "trying".  But overall we are both enjoying it really well.  Heck, he can't complain too much, he hasn't had to cook a meal since the wedding!

Kimbus22

Sillygirl45 said:

Awe, you guys are all so cute! H and I have been married 3 years, together for 5. 

It just made me laugh that a couple of you like how you can sleep side by side now. H and I seriously had sleep fights for the first year. I would wake up to him pushing me and he would tell me I was hitting him or suffocating him. I was really ready to do the old fashioned twin beds or just have our own rooms at one point! We did end up learning to sleep together, but a king sized bed helped a lot! 

Congrats to all of you!

Yeah I'm laughing too.  We've coming up on 9 years married, 13 together and my favorite thing ever is when I get to sleep alone lol

beyondwords106

We are newlyweds too, almost 2 months!  We never officially lived together before the wedding but we would take turns staying at each others houses.  It's nice to finally not have to pack a bag anymore.  We haven't had too many sleeping fights, he says I steal the covers but that's about it.

We are loving married life!  

ChaoswithGrace

We're newlyweds also! Two weeks tomorrow!

Bed fights are the worst. My H is the biggest pillow hog. He uses about 4, and I'm left with two. On our registry I'm sure people were wondering why I registered for 4 pillows. I was over the moon thrilled when we got them! Next year, as an anniversary present to ourselves were upgrading to a king size bed.

I'm counting down the days.

amaryann210

We've been married almost 2 months, didn't live together beforehand, and wisely made the choice to start with a kng bed.  Now, if I could only get used to his snoring...

The biggest challenge so far is that both of us lived on our own for years before getting married, so we both have ideas about how things "should" be.  Learning to listen before saying "that's not the right way" has been good for both of us!

 

erollis

I think we're the odd couple out. We love sleeping in the same bed. A queen is the perfect size for us. But we like being close when we sleep. We slept together fine on a full (at my place) and a twin (at his) for years. Every time we sleep on a king we feel alone. Plus it's been a long time since I've hogged all the covers to stay warm.

beyondwords106

@erollis we are the same way, we love sleeping close together.  When we first started dating he had a twin and we slept on a full for about 2 years.  When we got married we bought a new queen which is nice.  Anytime we in a king size I feel lost, there is just too much space.

Sigmatam

Married just over a month. It's great being together, but it gets tough when you get annoyed with eachother you can't just pop back home to get a breather. the biggest problem so far is furniture. Example: I own a queen size bed, but it hasn't been moved to my new place yet. Hubby worries about the "cost" of moving it and my gigantic dresser. The cost is only $45 to rent a van, but he's very penny conscience. As a result we are using "man-iture". Man Furniture. You know stuff that has been passed down through every family member and finally ends up with the single guy. Our mattress was made in the 70's. The couch /loveseat in the mid 80's with a cracked beam of wood in back and half the cusions are falling apart. If you lean back on the couch you bonk your head since all the stuffing has worn away. The dining room table may have been pulled off the side of the road, but it's in much better condition than the one that cracked and split down the middlem from age a few months back. As of now, we are looking to replace the living room furniture, but he hates shopping and won't go look.

I laugh because the bed change is the hardest for me to deal with. I went from a queen all by myself to a double for two people. He tends to hog the bed and blankets, so it is literally a tug-o-war and elbow jamming session just to get a good night's rest for me.

ChaoswithGrace

@erollis - I know I poke fun at my H for pillow hogging, but I agree with you on that. My H is an officer and sometimes works overnight. When he's not in bed, it'll take me twice as long to fall asleep. If my H is in bed, I'll lay on his chest, and I'm out within 5-10 minutes flat. Pillow war or not, he's my giant security blanket.

 

erollis

It's nice to know I'm not alone. And it is very difficult for both of us to fall asleep and sleep well without the other.

YankeeGirlGoesSouthern

We are newlyweds too! (though longer than all of you...so maybe not so new haha). Almost 7 months!
I would say one of the best perks is always having someone to do things with and having someone take care of you when you're sick. Unexpected challenge...we've kind of become homebodies. We're in a new city with new jobs and we've been so busy making memories in a new city together that we haven't made much of an effort to make new friends.
Also, my hubby is getting a little too comfy sometimes and farts in bed. That's a slippery slope that could lead to open bathroom doors and shaving my legs in front of him!

TattieSoup

YankeeGirlGoesSouthern said:

Also, my hubby is getting a little too comfy sometimes and farts in bed. That's a slippery slope that could lead to open bathroom doors and shaving my legs in front of him!

Reading this made me laugh because by this standard I think I stopped being a newlywed years before I got married. I've been married two years (been together six) and one memorable night my husband made such a stink farting in bed it made me feel sick and I had to sleep somewhere else. It's been so long since I shut the bathroom door that I actually forgot to close it last week when we had guests (luckily nobody saw). And I haven't shaved my legs since the summer.

I wrote in another thread about our sleep fights but until reading this I had forgotten that the first year we were together my husband and I slept almost every night in the single bed in my university halls, and we had no problems even though he is 6ft 4" and broad shouldered. Now it seems like we can hardly fit in our double bed!

Lilyrose4242

We've been married for 4 months, a couple for just over 2 1/2 years before that, and best friends for 17 or so years before we started dating. So I'd say we're pretty much used to each others quirks.

Though we both lived on our own before we got married so we each had ideas of what should go where. Like I store apples in a bowl on the counter and he stores them in the fridge. That sort of thing..

@ChaoswithGrace and @ erollis we're in the same boat! H and I sleep comfortably in a twin bed (his parent's place) so we have a queen as well. I've gotten to the point were I can't fall asleep for an hour or so if he's not there.

Beads921

We were married this summer. It's exactly what I thought it would be. We'd been together 6 years, lived together for 3 of those, and owned a home together for 2 before we got married so there really weren't any surprises left. I find that the way others look at us has definitely changed, in a good way. We are more respected as a social unit, as a family of our own, and I really wasn't expecting that. Changing my name was more annoying than I thought it would be, so that was an unexpected "challenge" I guess haha. 

sunflowerwife

We have been married almost a month! We didn't live together before, so it's been really nice. We have both been looking for jobs so our biggest challenge has been just the job search. We've spent a LOT of time together and it hasn't caused any issues. It's been really nice to just ease into marriage. We're ready to make money though and not be living off savings.