Is it just me...

zaria115

My husband and I just got married in October and it feels like ever since we got married the only question people can ask is if I'm pregnant.  Which I find super  annoying!  Are any other newlyweds experiencing this?

consciousdear88

The only people I really see that from are my husband's family thankfully enough. Every family get together usually involves the "when are you getting pregnant?" inquiry.

SmrBrd2012

Oh, you're definitely not alone...I'm sure lots of people will chime in...Within months of getting married someone I hadn't seen in awhile said "congrats!" about the marriage while someone else had overheard it and afterwards he was like "are you pregnant??" which was super weird because I barely talk to him. It's a running joke with the in laws for my MIL to bring it up pretty much every time we see them (ha ha, right?). It's weird for me though because it actually makes me feel excited when people bring it up because I REALLY want to have a baby now. We both do. But we're waiting a little bit. I think most people know better than to ask but if they are in laws thengood luck getting past that :P

erollis

2 years later and I still get "are you pregnant?" (Or some version). I get it from coworkers, family and people I don't know. It's annoying. And it sometimes cuts like a knife because we've been trying. When I'm not in the mood and a bit snarky I reply "my sex life is wonderful, Thanks for asking".

And I get asked quite a bit from clients if I have kids. I reply "not that lucky yet".

skaitlin

I get this ALL the time. My husband and I have been a couple for 6 years,  but only married 3 1/2 months. People don't seem to  understand that not everyone wants to have kids right away. 

Luckily my sister-in-law is having a baby soon, so I think we will be off the hook for awhile.

Leftie22

I was secretly pregnant at my wedding, so people didn't have time to ask. But they did ask as soon as my first child turned one, "when are you having another?" I hate those questions. And I agree with PP, they are especially insensitive considering that the couple might be trying. We tried for a long time after our first to conceive again, and being asked was super annoying. I started telling people I wasn't sure if we could have another, which shut them up. Definitely a rude and prying question to ask anyone, at any time.

jessica490

I've already made it known to man-kind that I will never have a kid...yet some people still tease me and ask...it's very annoying.

a10gonza

My story is kind of sad.Try having people ask if you are planning on having a baby when we seeked infertility help only to find out we can't have children. What do you say to people when they ask you if you are trying to get pregnant.

Don't get me wrong we each have a child from a previous relationship, but I guess God figured we don't need one together.

cloudymeatballs

ALL THE TIME!  I mean, I would love to be pregnant, just aren't yet.  It does get annoying that people ask constantly...  Its like, mind ya business, just mind ya business...  lol

Belthil

I've been really lucky so far and have only had one comment, which I know was a joke. I'm sure it'll be starting soon though. I can't wait *sarcasm*

chrisnjay05212010

We've been married 3.5 years and we get asked constantly. Im pretty set on not having any. So wont they all be surprised when it never happens.  And yes the question makes me crazy! I have tons of friends who are struggling to have a baby so that question is like rubbing it in their faces.  People just dont understand how rude it is.

tbarber87

As much as I'd love to start trying ASAP, we too are waiting it out for at least a year (if all goes to plan) but we have skipped out on the questions for the most part.  His brother and sister-in-law are prego which takes the weight off of us on his side, and my side is all about us waiting and getting our marriage to a comfortable place first. 

Kimbus22

That's all we ever got too, especially since we randomly got married in a courthouse with little to no notice.  It never stopped.  People asked for 6 years lol

MeganStates

Hubby and I both have a child from a previous marriage, and we feel like we're at a perfect number, but that doesn't stop everyone from wanting to know when we'll have one together! Our children are 4 1/2 and 5 1/2 and neither of us want to start over, nor do we feel like we have to have a child together to prove anything about our love for each other. It gets old, fast.

MaggieW518

Just got married this past May, and yes, the questions of "are you pregnant / planning to get pregnant / trying to get pregnant / when are you going to start trying" started immediately (I was "jokingly" asked AT the wedding)...

I tend to give a vague timeframe ("probably in the next year or two") and that's usually enough to end the questioning...

My biggest annoyance is when I'm not feeling well (stomach / nausea) and I get "are you pregnant??" ...suddenly, now that I'm married, I'm not allowed to feel sick without being questioned. ugh.

BeckyOff

http://forums.thenest.com/categories/bnotb

There's an entire board dedicated to it.

DeannaCW

I haven't, but I think that's only because I have lupus and will therefore be high-risk (for everything) and am open about the fact that I was breifly on low-dose chemo, as it's common knowledge that can damage that ability. 

I do have some snarky answers prepped just in case, such as "we can't, thanks for bringing it up" or "when we decide to". Never gotten the WHEN question though! Man I'd be tempted to throw out a random date. Can just see the looks on their faces "When are you getting pregnant?" "August 17, 2019". 

zilla4eva

Zaria115, 

You are soo not alone in this. I got married in October too and i get it always. Strangely enough, not from family members cuz i bet they know the kind of responses they'll hear or basically cuz they may understand its our choice. 

But dear me!, i just have to crave for lunch and some random person would pop the ANNOYING question... urhm, are we all not talking about lunch here? why pick on me...?

Hubby n I are waiting but i pray to God that it happens as soon as we are ready!!!!

Bel831

It seems like people have nothing else to say so when they know you're newly married (or have been married for a while but have not yet had a child) they automatically assume you want kids at any given moment. I brush it off as old-fashioned mentality that's been ingrained in our culture for years. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby...

My husband and I haven't been married that long, but he's 30, I'm 29, and we both want to start TTC next year. What irks me is every time we are with his parents, and a family friend asks the in-laws about grandchildren, his dad is quick to say "Oh no one's ready for that yet, it'll be a couple years." Pretty sure its not his business or on his schedule when we decide to have children, same with his daughter (husbands sister) and her husband. I'd almost prefer people ask me, so I can give the straight answer in front of the in-laws, "Next year!"

Laurmi

Basically every time that I mention that I'm a wee bit tired, have a stomach ache, or that I'm hungry, someone will say "are you pregnant?!?!?!" 

Sigh.....

Laura

Sigmatam

Yup. It's pretty normal. My 5 year old nephew is probably the worst. Over the summer he mentioned that I would make a great mom and wanted to know why H and I didn't have kids. I explained that H and I were going to get married, then have kids. On the way home from my wedding reception, in November, he asked my sister, "Mom, what are they going to name their babies." A week later while we were on our honeymoon, he told my mother that he had already picked out names for our babies. Neither my sister nor her husband have mentioned me having babies, but he got it in his head that we should have kids. Still trying to decide if it is cute or creepy.

I also need a new car. Since we are car shopping all my friends are like, "ohh...get a mini-van."

na41313

All the time! We got married in September of 2012. This past June I made the mistake of not drinking at a friend's wedding. Talk about kicking the rumor mill into overdrive. We also had just bought an SUV, so immediately that's what our friends jumped to.

R.Wilsonny

I had the opposite problem actually. My MIL had the balls to tell my H that we should wait to have children. Mind you, both my H and I decided on our own, prior to her little conversation with him, that we were going to wait until we bought our house because we didn't want to be rushing to do that while I was pregnant. I was pretty pissed off when he told me what she said though because it's not like I'm in my 20's and still getting settled in life. That and it's none of her business.

It truly amazes me how people think that your uterus is somehow their business. To the ladies who have to deal with the questions, just tell people 'oh, I didn't realize what goes on with my uterus was any of your business'....that usually shuts them up.

GilliC

R.Wilsonny said:

To the ladies who have to deal with the questions, just tell people 'oh, I didn't realize what goes on with my uterus was any of your business'....that usually shuts them up.

So does, "No, we're having too much fun practicing."

Miclan88

I've been asked a couple times and my husband has gotten asked a lot. NO WE ARE NOT HAVING KIDS YET. i'm 25 and he's 27. its a little annoying because we just moved to a new state for his new job and i'm still looking for a new job. it would be incredibly irresponsible to try to start a family right now with our financial situation, but people just think "oh they got married, now its time for some babies!" plus I want some time for us to be newlyweds!

formerlyGDaisy09

na41313 said:

All the time! We got married in September of 2012. This past June I made the mistake of not drinking at a friend's wedding. Talk about kicking the rumor mill into overdrive. We also had just bought an SUV, so immediately that's what our friends jumped to.

"are you pregnant" is my friends new favorite question to ask me, we got married in July 2012 and recently bought a subaru outback....last time they asked me I had just steped in to releive one of them from a particularly long game of beer pong....really? I'm blaming it on the beer.

R.Wilsonny

For those of you who are on the younger side of marriage - you guys just do what's best for you when it comes to the whole kids thing. Enjoy being young, enjoy being newlyweds, and don't let anyone put any pressure on you to have kids because at the end of the day, you will be the ones raising the child, not those people. I'm about to embark on the journey of parenthood, but I'm almost 40 and wanted to wait until I was settled and did things that I wanted to do first. You obviously don't have to wait that long, just do it when it feels right for you. Children are a big life changing commitment and not something to be taken lightly. Don't let anyone pressure you into something if you aren't ready