Is it appropriate for my MIL to get my husband an X Box One for Christmas?

AngelasAshes

I need some perspective here...my MIL just informed me that she found and purchased an X Box One and plans to give it to my husband for Christmas.

I feel a little like his she is trying to buy his love, and is getting him a super-expensive thing I can't afford to give him, even if I wanted to. This is our first married Christmas, and now it feels like anything I plan or give him will pale in comparison to her gift. 

And does she have to give him something that will dominate his time and take him away from me, sapping his time, creativity, and motivation to "grow up" a bit more?

Is it weird for his mom not to get him something that could enhance his adult life instead of just going after something that will make her the "favorite"?

To me it feels like it's an inappropriate gift. It's something that if he and I wanted, we should decide together and buy it ourselves.

Now I have to sit with this and somehow not let it ruin my Christmas, too. Help!

Xandy417

I guess I don't know the whole story here about your family.

Is it appropriate for your MIL to give him this gift? I can't really say. It depends on the dynamic of their family and relationship. For instance, it is totally normal for my H's family to give each other expensive gifts and to tell each other what they are getting before the holidays. In my family we always kept our gifts a secret and never had a lot of money so things were in a much smaller scale. If it is normal for your MIL to give expensive gifts to her children she might not see this as attempting to "buy" his love. You could try telling your MIL how you feel.

I feel like you also are having an issue with your H playing video games and "taking him away from you". Video games are a legitimate way for people to entertain themselves and unwind. I began playing video games as a way to escape from a toxic home life that I could not afford to get out of otherwise. They are not only for children. Perhaps there are games the two of you could play together. Or you could mention to your H that you would like him to spend time with you rather than playing games.

I don't really know the full dynamic of your family so I don't know if that will be helpful or not.

cclejeune

From the information I know, it doesn't seem that weird. It's just an X-box. 

What exactly are you wanting her to buy him that would 'enhance his adult life?' I mean, if you guys are struggling to pay your rent or buy food and she buys him an Xbox, I can see how the money would feel misplaced, but otherwise I can't see any legitimate issue with it. 

doeydo

Um, it's an Xbox.  He probably wants one, like a lot of people out there.  Why are you so hung up on his mom buying him something he (I assume) wants?

lifeonthehill

MY mom bought MY husband an xbox last year. I tried to convince her to get a cheaper gift but it is what she wanted to give him and we couldn't have afforded one last year. H loves it and plays when I work nights or when he has the guys over.

I don't see how a mother getting HER son an xbox would be inappropriate. When he gets the gift just be sure to talk to him about not wanting it to rule his life and your relationship.

BeckyOff

Unless you and your H are opposed to Christmas, it is completely appropriate for your H's mother to buy him a gift of her choosing.  In your situation, I'd honestly be stoked that H got something he wanted and we didn't have to shell out $$$ for it.

Inappropriate gifts might be things like a gift certificate to a divorce lawyer, sending over a pre-paid prostitute, a trip for two at a Caribbean resort for MIL and H, framed pictures of H and his ex girlfriend, etc.

Sounds like you need to have a grown-up conversation with your H about how much time he spends with you and how much attention he pays to you.