Who finds it difficult to sleep with their husband?

TattieSoup

I love getting into bed with my husband because he is very affectionate and will always snuggle and hold me while we are falling asleep. Unfortunately he usually falls asleep first and after that he is a pain in the neck.

It used to bother me a little that he snored but we fixed that when I started wearing earplugs at night. His newest thing (developed in last six months) is to start twitching about every ten minutes. If you have ever seen a dog try to run in it's sleep then it's exactly like that. He lies on his side and jerks his knees up towards his belly a couple of times very fast. Then he will lie still for a while and repeat. They aren't big movements but forceful so that the bed is bouncing around and it is driving me CRAZY. It's just enough to shake me awake every time I start dropping off, and after a while I feel tense waiting for the next one because I know it is coming but not sure when. The fact that he is peacefully sleeping throughout is just salt in the wound. I do not cope well with lack of sleep and I lie there thinking murderous thoughts and plotting how I could kick him awake and make it look like an accident.

It isn't a crisis situation where I am thinking about separate rooms or anything like that, it's just driving me up the wall.
Anybody else secretly miss sleeping on their own sometimes?

sillygoosegirl

Give him a little kick... Hard enough to wake him up, but not so hard that he knows why he woke up... Then relax and go to sleep (or repeat as necessary).

asoiafguy

two beds

ez

OtterJ

My husband is the same way. He cuddles, falls asleep first, and twitches randomly. It rarely actually bothers me. I have found that if he doesn't stop twitching, or there is a heavy arm on me, he is pretty easy to reposition while sleeping with the help of a few gentle nudges. I make sure that we fall asleep more on "his side" of the bed, so that if I need space after he falls asleep, I can just scoot over to the free area without having to move him much. If you're really having difficulty falling asleep, I would suggest trying natural sleep aids. They have teas with natural herbs that help you relax so you fall asleep faster, but it don't know how well they work. I used to take melatonin supplements. It doesn't form habits, and it really helped me fall asleep faster, and actually stay asleep through the night. I don't miss sleeping alone, but I do inadvertently fall asleep on the couch on occasion.

Lilyrose4242

My H twitches in his sleep too only it's spontaneous full body jerks. Sometimes it's just his arm or leg twitching. If it happens more then once I usually half wake him up. If I wake up a bit he usually doesn't twitch when he goes back to sleep so it might be worth a shot.

chrisnjay05212010

my DH has sleep apnea and sleeps with one of those face masks, while it is MUCH MUCH better than the actual snoring it still bothers me as im a very light sleeper. I can still hear some stuff through ear plugs. i totally understand sleeping better alone.....

SmrBrd2012

Oh man, I hear ya. My husband ALWAYS falls asleep first. Within minutes of hitting the pillow. It drives me batty! Sometimes even is heavy breathing bothers me just because I'm jealous of how fast he passes out :P In all seriousness though, he does tend to snore and roll around a lot. For the snoring, I make him roll over on his side which usually helps. But it's a battle every night because he insists on falling asleep on his back. So I always end up waking him up. Sometimes he gets in these phases where he rolls around a lot and messes up all the sheets. I'm super picky about having neat and tucked in bed sheets so this drives me nuts as well. Every once and awhile it'll be bad enough for me to sleep on the couch. Usually 2x a month or so. Whenever he decides to take one for the team and sleep on the couch instead, it is WONDERFUL! I get the best sleep

jessica490

try a tempurpedic mattress, you wont feel a thing lol

Kimbus22

I don't even keep my hatred for sleeping next to him a secret.  We often wake up at 3am with one of us sitting up glaring at the other.

I work overnights so we only share a bed twice a week.  That helps

Leftie22

I don't like sleeping next to my DH since we had a kid. I could handle the sleep deprivation from his snoring and twitching before, but once there was a baby also waking me up, it stopped being cute. I wake him up when he snores, make him sleep on his side, or he sleeps downstairs if it's really bad. Sleep deprivation is no joke! I remember reading a study once that men sleep better in a shared bed, and women sleep worse when sleeping with a man. I was not shocked.

lisa2008boo

Yes I think my husband has sleep apnea. He snores but there are times he stops breathing and then gasps for air it scares the crap out of me. Plus his dad has it and he is over weight. Our health insurance kicks in at the beginning of the year I am having him take the test.

He had the parents who had a fan on in his room when he was a kid. So ya he can not sleep without one now. So when we first got married it drove me crazy but 3 years later I am use to it now. He just has to have that back ground noise I could care less so it's not an issue anymore thankfully. 

chrisnjay05212010

@lisa2008boo- that sure sounds like sleep apnea! I hope you can get it straightened out with your insurance.  Wearing the mask at night is a help although that does take getting used to for both of you.

mrsvieira28

Get a Sleep Number bed. My husband and I have the same problem. He's always the first to fall asleep & makes all the noise but I and the one tossing & turning all night to the point one of us would go sleep in the guest bedroom. After we got that bed he has never been bothered by my movements in my sleep . I am still working on his snoring but seriously I can't feel him move & he can't feel mine either.