The last name

Lilyrose4242

So this question is to those who've broken with tradition (bride taking the groom's last name). I love H but neither of us like his last name and we're thinking of both changing our last names to something completely different.  Has anyone else done this? Or what would your thoughts be on doing this?

SmrBrd2012

What about him taking your name?

TattieSoup

I have a friend whose husband's last name was Gay. She wasn't a huge fan of hers either so they went with her mother's maiden name.

For me it was important to have the same last name as my husband because I think it gives us unity as a family and we will both ultimately have the same name as our children, but I don't think it would matter what that name is. Luckily I like his last name!

GilliC

I share a last name with an unfortunate TV personality, so when I changed my name back, I considered just making up something new instead. But I wanted to keep my initials, and I never came up with anything I liked.

Honestly, I wish I'd just kept my maiden name and never changed it to begin with. Too much hassle, and it confused the heck out of people I work with but don't see very often.

WendyGR

I hyphenated with my first marriage. I changed it to my DH's when I married him. I sort of wish I had stuck with my maiden name instead of changing it to DH's because I am going into consulting and my name is very common, making it hard to get web domains, twitter name, etc. I've been using my maiden name as a middle name for professional use but I think it would have been easier to just stay maiden name. Oh well. We dont' and won't have kids so that's not an issue for us.

Leftie22

I didn't change my name, and I wish DH was open to changing his to a completely new name! His name is very unusual and no one can pronounce it properly, so it's a pain in the butt. I also hate having a different last name than my son. If it were up to me, we'd all pick a new name and all use it.

anssett

My H took my name when we got married. We both thought it was prettier than his. 

I have friends who did the choose-your-own-adventure name thing and picked something together. That worked great for them. I think people get too bent out of shape over this!

lisa2008boo

I guess I am old fashioned but I like the idea of taking DH name. It was an honor for me to take his name I didn't see it as degrading at all. I saw it as me becoming a member of their family like everything was complete. However he doesn't have an over the top last name people can never say it right but it's nice. I want us all children included to have the same LN. This is just me but you guys need to do what is best for you. 

GilliC

lisa2008boo said:

I guess I am old fashioned but I like the idea of taking DH name. It was an honor for me to take his name I didn't see it as degrading at all. I saw it as me becoming a member of their family like everything was complete. However he doesn't have an over the top last name people can never say it right but it's nice. I want us all children included to have the same LN. This is just me but you guys need to do what is best for you. 

Who said anything even remotely along the lines of this?! Did they DD?

Lilyrose4242

@GilliC No I didn't DD it's all there.

@lisa2008boo I don't see it as "degrading" and I'm questioning were you got that idea? It's just a name that neither of us like. His family has made me feel like a member for years now.

We are thinking of combining the first part of his last name with the last part of my last name. So it wouldn't be completely different but would sound a lot better.

lisa2008boo

Lilyrose4242 said:

@GilliC No I didn't DD it's all there.

@lisa2008boo I don't see it as "degrading" and I'm questioning were you got that idea? It's just a name that neither of us like. His family has made me feel like a member for years now.

We are thinking of combining the first part of his last name with the last part of my last name. So it wouldn't be completely different but would sound a lot better.

Oh no I am sorry I wasn't talking about you I was meaning that society often says/thinks that I hear it a lot. I should have made that more clear sorry. Like I said in my response you guys should do what works for you. 

Kimbus22

Sounds like a good plan to me if you're both on board.  Seems like a no brainer if you can combine parts of both last names into something that sounds better than either of them on their own.

TattieSoup

What does DD mean?

GilliC

TattieSoup said:

What does DD mean?

Dirty Delete

Since none of the above posts mention anything along the lines of "I think taking your H's name is degrading," I was wondering why lisa brought it up. I thought maybe someone had said something like that and then deleted/edited the comment later before I saw it.

GilliC

For the record, you can't actually delete posts in the new board format. Only edit them. The term is a holdover from the old formats.

TattieSoup

Thanks!

NavyBlue143

I didn't take H's last name. The only people who gave me grief were my parents. Our children will have hyphenated names. My family name is part of them too. What they choose to do with it is up to them.

VadersValkyrie

I hyphenated my last name, mostly because I'm an "older" bride (33) and also H's last name is pretty boring.  I have some friends who created a completely new name to share; I know of one gentlemen who took his first wife's last name because he was estranged from his own family.  I heard on the radio about a couple who both had hyphenated last names, and so they chose a name from her side of the family that was going to die out because there were no boys to carry it on.

msmerymac

Lilyrose4242 said:

@GilliC No I didn't DD it's all there.

@lisa2008boo I don't see it as "degrading" and I'm questioning were you got that idea? It's just a name that neither of us like. His family has made me feel like a member for years now.

We are thinking of combining the first part of his last name with the last part of my last name. So it wouldn't be completely different but would sound a lot better.

That's a great idea. I wanted to do something similar with my kids. I have no children yet, but my husband isn't enthusiastic about it. Right now, we'll be using my last name as a second middle and his as the last name. Imperfect solutions!

Anyway, I loved my name and didn't want to change it or hyphenate it or chop it in any way, whatsoever. But hey, neither did my husband. Do what works for you, and if both of you want to do it, that's all that matters!

Jennycolada

I love my last name and don't really care for Fi's last name. But I am excited to change my name because it's something I've always looked forward to since I was a little girl. I have mentioned to him that I will be a bit sad to give up my name (and of course he was supportive in saying that I didn't have to).

Changing both of our names to something else would just feel random, and doesn't carry the same romantic undertones. Although I have mentioned it to which Fi's eyes lot up and said "Can I be Megatron and you be Tits McGee?!"