iPad, phone, computer time?

shaina925

Just wondering if you limit your time on things like that. If my husband has a long day at work he likes to go to his friends house to play video games because it's mindless and he doesn't have to think about the bad day he just had. We both have iPads, they are used every single day. We got into a small fight tonight and it came up that the reason he doesn't want to be at our house that much is because I make it an uninviting place... He says I'm always playing on my iPad. Well, I don't have video games, so for me this is my mindless thing to do. I'm thinking no iPads for a few days, we need to just be with each other. Thoughts?

TarponMonoxide

He said you make it an uninviting place???

You both neeed to cool the iPad and computer activity. This will kill your together time and intimacy.

Find something to do together: what about a "mundane" walk after dinner, taking some evening school classes together, volunteering, playing Scrabble or some other board game -- just to name a few?

GilliC

How does your using the iPad make it uninviting? What would he rather you be doing? It sounds like he wants you two to do something together, but what does he suggest? I can understand his wanting to do something mindless but still social, but he does need to take on the responsibility of making some suggestions.

Do you both have iPads? There are some board games that have apps with multi-player games via the network (Ticket to Ride, Carcassonne, etc). Maybe you could try one of those?

Do you have any interest in video games? If so, a game console might be worth saving up for, since it could be something you enjoy together.

Leftie22

If he's at his friend's place playing video games, how does he know what you're doing? Or he wants your attention once he's done with his mindless activity? I would try to come to an agreement together that you'll spend a certain amount of time together with no ipad. Like, if he gets home at 5, you eat together, then you can do whatever you want, and reconvene at 8 to do something together. I'd definitely talk about it, because it sounds like it's a problem. But his video game time also needs to be addressed.

Sillygirl45

That was a very crummy thing for him to say. How often is he gone playing games with his friends? It sounds like he is trying to deflect his issue onto you.

You guys need to sit down and have a talk about how you would both like to spend your downtime. How many nights you would like to spend together, and what you would like to do. There are plenty of good ideas from pp's. I don't think a few days of no ipad will get to the bottoms of the issue. GL.

Xandy417

That was a very crappy thing for him to say to you.

My situation is completely different because my husband and I met playing video games and we both still play. For us downtime is playing a game together, talking and laughing. At least twice a month I make him take me out somewhere for a real world date too.

VadersValkyrie

I actually have been thinking of instituting a "no double screen" time at our house.  Hubby and I usually watch TV together when he gets home from work (~9PM) but we both tend to play on our phones/iPads/computers at the same time.  

ksblumb

My DH and I are both guilty of playing around on our phones a lot. After we get home and have supper while we are watching TV we both check Facebook, forums, etc. After a little bit, one of us will call a "Digital Intervention" meaning its time to put the phones down and snuggle up. Either of us can call it whenever we want and the other has to do it with no complaints. I honestly don't even remember how this came about, but it works really well for us.