Trouble in Paradise
mkday
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
all is great
Thank you for your candid guidance and advice. I have decided that I don't really want to leave my personal information up on a public forum now that everything is ok so I'm going to go ahead and delete it.
Re: all is great
I hate to be the bearer of more bad news but he's got his "verdict" carved into titanium: he wants out and that's that.
No chance of counseling; he won't go? bad news.
It is very likely he just wants out. or perhaps he's got somebody waiting in the wings -- only he can tell you for sure precisely why he wants out.
I don't think there is any sense in separating. He's got his mind made up. I would guess he's been having an affair.
Put yourself first. GL.
PS: You could meet him someplace public -- so he is less apt to cause a scene -- and ask for closure: ask him why he wants out. That you're left hanging while he merely announces "goodbye this is over" isn't cool. I hope he has the courtesy and decency to say why he's no longer interested in marriage.
Make sure he can't access your credit card, your debit cards or any of your assets. Protect yourself. One never knows.
Get your finances in order and protect yourself, like I said.
He won't stay and "fix" what is wrong, which really stinks on ice. And as the PP said, it's not up to you to change his mind.
Get closure. He owes it to you to do that much at the very least.
I would see if the face value of sale of your home could be awarded to you in the divorce settlement. What assets have you got to fall back on? You thought you were going to have a long and happy marriage.
This does not bode well.
So how is "all is great"??? He's spelled it out and he's made it clear he wants out. Don't play the fool; when a guy says he does not wish to be married, he means it.
To recap: she is 40s, he is 50s. She owned a home before she married him, got sold off and she no longer owns it.
They met on line and dated for a couple years before they got married; they are married just about 2 years.
He came home and announced he wants out. No preamble, no other explanation. Won't go to counseling. OP wants to know if a separation will help the cause.
As a pp pointed out, even if this ladyfriend of his broke it off, the worm is still in the apple -- he will only go out and do it again; he'll find another playmate.
Believe a guy when he says he wants out. Why do you want to hang on to something that is not there?
See an attorney about recouping the loss from your house -- maybe something can be done in court where you'd get some sort of retitution for the home you sold, being you have nothing to fall back on and you sold your house in anticipation of marriage and moving into his.
You should have held onto it as an investment, but that's another story.