Married Life
lolasmit
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
How do I fix this?
in Married Life
I don't have anyone to bring this up with, but lately I just keep looking for "flaws" in my husband. By flaws I mean that he has gained a few pounds (not much), but noticeable enough. I keep saying well after the baby we will both exercise, but I just I don't even want to touch him when I see his belly and I don't know what's wrong with me or how to change it. Lately I have even been afraid to speak to him because I don't want to hurt his feelings or offend him . When I don't help him with the groceries he gets upset even though some of those times I am doing homework, or I have just cooked so I find it unfair that he wants me to also help with groceries when I've been cleaning all day long and doing my school work. He's also getting his breasts larger. He even says he feels self conscious about his body. I admit some times I have just been sitting around doing nothing so that's totally on me SO i don't know..whats wrong with me. .
We have only been married since August of 2013, and I am pregnant due April 23rd. Could this just be hormones? Or how do I fix this? Do I push him and me both to work out together? Or what? Ugh/.
Re: How do I fix this?
Maybe that's something your H always had.
That said, I think you need to revisit men's bodies. He's hardly a blimp; what do you mean "you don't want to touch his belly"?
How are you going to feel if he gains more weight than that?
And suppose you gained weight due to inactivity, consumption of certain meds, a thyroid problem, the marriage freshman 15 or you can't lose the weight you gained during your pregnancy?
I'm sure he wouldn't find you gross or "not want to touch your belly".
I have only gained 7 pounds, but I am sure he wouldnt care . I have also gained weight before from 95 pounds to 128 pounds which is my "healthy weight".
I dont know what to do or how to fix myself since I have never thought or felt this way before.. Not once in our relationship have we been shallow so idk whatsup.
Maybe you have a secret fear that he will blow up like a balloon -- I don't know --- see what the counselor says.
When I complain about how I cant bend down or my feet are swollen from standing too nuch he says his back hurts and that the baby is only 2 pounds.
Yesterday he did a lot around the house and I felt very positively towards him so maybe since I am doing everything thats affecting the way I see him!!
I love the way my pregnant body looks lol
Well, I can relate to that! I try hard to check my irritability and if it's justified, but if it is, I let DH know what he could do to help. Especially toward the end, when you're super uncomfortable, and seriously can't do things. It helps if I ask him before I'm upset about it, and phrase it that he would really be helping me out if he did xyz, because it's getting difficult for me. He has more sympathy and is more helpful when I'm calm than when I'm all ragey. I'm sure some of the attraction issue will clear up when you're not pregnant and overtired, and if your DH continues to step up and be helpful. I'm glad you're happy with your pregnant self - I actually love how I look pregnant too! (But not so much how I feel!) Good luck, take it easy when you can, and ask your DH for what you need from him to make life easier.