Most embarassing moment with your in-laws?

TexasGal24

Its my first question here so I will make it a fun one.

Just this last weekend my MIL was visiting and DH, MIL and I were talking about the first time I met MIL. I went to visit/stay with her/him over Spring Break (we were still in college). And she asked "Did you guys sleep together while you were there?" DH and I nearly choked before we gasped out "No!"  (In honesty during the week, we ended up having sex one night (we were staying in separate rooms) and I KNOW it was really bad/disrespectful for us to do that but, I was 19 and he was 21 (can I use the young and drunk-in-love card? hehe). I wanted to die that moment, but just changed the subject.

While I was at work the next day DH talked to MIL and it turns out she thought my SIL had stayed with us during that week and was wondering where we all slept. When he told her what it sounded like she was asking (if we had sex), she was mortified, blamed it on her meds and the wine we were drinking and even apologized to me when I got home (which made me feel even more guilty and awkward again). We don't have a lot of interaction with his family so this one instance caught me so off guard! Maybe its because it is still fresh but I still face palm every time I think about it.

Also, makes me wonder if we were as quiet as we thought that night 6 years ago....

WendyGR

When we were dating, DH lived at his dad's house, who was living out of state for work at the time. On the upper floor of the house was DH's bedroom, and FIL's bedroom with attached master bath. I was spending the weekend and stripped to go take a shower one morning and walked right into FIL's bedroom . . . and suddenly noticed him sleeping in his bed! Apparently he was coming home for the weekend and didn't bother to tell anyone (or shut his door). I stifled a scream and ran back to DH's room, put on some clothes, and used the downstairs shower.

ready-or-not

This is more on DH than myself but it's to great to not share:

Once long ago when we were just married & wild & carefree (no kids), DH was out drinking with friends & I had retreated home to bed cause I had to work the next day. Well DH decided to send me a message telling me to stay up for him cause he had some super explicit things in mind (pg version of the text).....only he accidentally sent the text to his MOM, whose name was listed right above mine in his phone! Hahahahahahaha I still LOL today when I think about that! We tried to ignore the error but his mom texted me the next day "I've been dying to ask you all day if you stayed up last night, but I'm not really sure I wanna know the answer!!" DH could not look his mom in the eye for a long time after that!!

Lilyrose4242

This isn't really a MIL or FIL one but it's about my grandparents-in-law. H and I grew up together and since our parents are good friends. When we first started dating MIL thought it would be cute if H and I sat his grandparents down and told them we were dating. Only our parents knew we were dating at that point. So she gathered everyone into the living room and said H and I had an announcement. Talk about awkward! I have no idea why I agreed to do this! Anyways, before H could say anything his grandma shouts, "ARE YOU FINALLY GETTING MARRIED?????"

I wanted to melt into the wall. I mean we had just started dating.

Sugarplum97

Not an awful one, but my MIL can be very embarrassing. I live in a small town, if you go to Walmart, you will see someone that knows you. We had been engaged for like 3 weeks, and DH was looking for vitamins. My MIL picked up a box of prenatal vitamins, and said (rather loudly) "I sure hope we don't need any of these any time soon!" I was so embarrassed. Note, this was like my second time meeting this lady. It was a stupid thing to be embarrassed about, but at the time it was. Now I would have just laughed it off.

Not as bad as the night after we got engaged. We were at a restaurant, and she pulled him a way for a bit. Turns out she was telling him that if he wanted to keep me, he better keep me happy in bed. That if he needed help, she would help him find some books or something. She gave him some tips as well. Dh and I laugh about it now, but at the time he was mortified,  we were at a family place! the funny thing was, we weren't even having sex until we got married.

Not an in-law story, but at my bridal shower, one of the teachers I work with gave us K+Y lube. Everyone knew it was our first time, so they all got a great kick out it; but it was pretty embarrassing when all of the ladies in the room started giving me tips for our first time. Good advice, but not the time/place I was expecting to get it.   

Sigmatam

Before we were married DH and his parents rented a condo on the beach down south. DH and I shared the closet sized bathroom that was not in a bedroom. The other room had its own bathroom.

We had spent the day on the beach so I decided to shower before going to dinner. I Hopped out of the shower and went to grab my towel. As I picked it up a giant (um, fist sized) furry black spider with white dots skittered out. My heart stopped and I thought was going to die. I'm a huge arachnaphobe and have never been so terrified in my life. Luckily it crawled away from me, but towards the door. I tried screaming for help and no sound came out. I watched as it started up the door towards my other towel and clothes. It then crawled back down and went under the sink. Seeing my chance, I grabbed the nearest towel, a hand towel, and fled while shrieking, "Kill it, Kill it, Kill it!"

My hand towel didn't cover much, but at the time was too traumatized to care. My now FIL only responded, "It's okay, I have daughters. I've seen it before." After two years, I am not sure whether he meant my partial nudity or spider crazed freak out.

The worst part about it. No one could find the spider. It took 20-25 min of looking before hubby found it hiding under wooden board under bathroom cupboard. By that time in-laws were already in car waiting so we could make our dinner reservations. I refused to leave until the eight- legged creepy was found and dispatched. To this day, I am not sure whether my in-laws actually believe I actually saw anything since they still joke about my "phantom" spider. In their defense, they have seen me freak over lint/ hairball blowing across the floor. At least hubby knows the truth. He told me he could see the eight legged creeper's fangs trying to bite him as he released it back into the wilderness.

Tofumonkey

At a hotel in China in front of my mother in law I tried to call for a plumber but accidentally ordered her a male prostitute.

PrincessVegan

Were you speaking Chinese and is your MIL Chinese? Cause that would be awesome!

Tofumonkey

We are all Canadian. My husband and I were living in China and MIL had come to visit, but my Chinese wasn't very good yet (although I thought it was). My husband's Chinese was pretty much limited to ordering beer, rice and sweet & sour pork - after nearly six months, lol.

So his mom had come, we traveled up to Beijing and stayed in a hotel there. You aren't meant to flush toilet paper there and she plugged the toilet in her room really badly. Clearly a plumber was needed. We went over to her room to help her out and I impressively and confidently sat on the bed, picked up the hotel phone and called down to the front desk, all in Chinese, to explain our predicament and request a plumber. 

My husband and MIL were very impressed, and she asked me what I had said. I told her that it was very simple, my vocabulary isn't very large yet so I fill in gaps where I can, but I usually get the message across. I'd said something along the lines of:

Hello, this is room 214. I have a small problem and need a man to come help me. In my room. It is not difficult, is a small problem. But I need a man quickly. A strong man. Does the hotel have a man that can help me?

My husband had a funny look on his face, my mother in law still thought I was brilliant. 

That was until there was a knock on the door and my husband muttered 'I don't think they sent a plumber'. MIL and I opened the door to find a tall half naked Chinese man with an oiled chest, leaning provocatively up against the doorway. 

Oh God, I had ordered her a male prostitute. I turned bright red and started laughing, apologizing to the poor guy and trying in vain to explain what happened, as a horrified MIL retreated into the room and sat back on the bed with my husband, who was crying with laughter. I took the gigolo by the hand and led him into the bathroom, pointing at the plugged toilet and explaining with a mix of language and charades what the problem was. He finally got it and left - a plumber arriving a few minutes later, laughing his ass off.

Tofumonkey

Oh man. I have another one about how I embarrassed her quite badly on a plane with my bad Chinese on the same trip. Yeesh!

Oh, and the last time she traveled with us we were pulled over into a HAZMAT bunker driving off the ferry from France into England for nearly 3 hours. An underground secret bunker. Because I was 'more radioactive than a truck full of Russian nails'.

Traveling with us makes her nervous.

Tofumonkey

Okay, so we were flying (MIL, DH and I) on an internal flight in China, I think we were going from Guilin to Hainan or something.

DH and I were sat together and MIL was just across the aisle. The plane was dark and everyone was watching their little movie screens - I was watching Big Fish, for the first time.

Oh holy hell have you guys seen that movie? Oh my freaking god. The ending!

So we're on this quiet flight full of Chinese people and were the only foreigners on the entire flight. No biggie. But I'm watching this movie and it nears the end and I start to tear up. Just a little at first, but then the ending builds and builds and I start to sniffle.

Then the ending gets even more emotionally traumatic and I let out a stifled sob. DH hasn't yet noticed anything, he's engrossed in Police Story. I'm breathing hard and starting to really cry when a flight attendant, who spoke no English whatsoever, came over to see if I was okay. I waved her off politely, smiling to indicate that I was okay - but still engrossed in the movie.

The ending got worse and I let out a loud sob. My shoulders were trembling and I was gripping my blanket to my running nose and the tears dripping down my face. I had headphones on, so didn't realize quite how loud I was being. I started to hiccup, tears pouring down my face and emitting little sobs. The flight attendant approached me again, this time with a friend. Neither spoke any English, but I assured them that I was fine. They left, reluctantly.

The ending then built even more and I was positively whimpering at this stage. People on the plane were starting to turn around and look at me (I always cause a scene there) but with looks of concern more than curiosity. MIL was starting to notice but I couldn't pay attention - I was engrossed in the movie.

The movie hit its climax and I let loose a howling wail and then descended into inconsolable, loud weeping. My husband was startled out of his movie and was trying to get me to calm down but I was beyond any point of consolation. I was sobbing loudly, head thrown back and making a proper scene with 'waaa' type noises. The flight attendants had rushed over and everyone around me was standing up in their seat staring and trying to make sense of what was happening to the sobbing foreigner - the flight attendants demanded to know what was going on and MIL was just covered in spectators -

I managed to shout out (between sobs) the only coherent sentence in Chinese I could think to string together:

The DVD is so happy!!!! (zhege DVD hao gaoxin le!)

Have you ever heard an entire plane of people burst into laughter? It's quite an experience, let me tell you. And it's not like DH and MIL could pretend not to know me, either.

I travel a lot, but it is never uneventful. Ever. I could fill a book easily with just my China stories alone.

Sillygirl45

Tofumonkey said:

Okay, so we were flying (MIL, DH and I) on an internal flight in China, I think we were going from Guilin to Hainan or something.

DH and I were sat together and MIL was just across the aisle. The plane was dark and everyone was watching their little movie screens - I was watching Big Fish, for the first time.

Oh holy hell have you guys seen that movie? Oh my freaking god. The ending!

So we're on this quiet flight full of Chinese people and were the only foreigners on the entire flight. No biggie. But I'm watching this movie and it nears the end and I start to tear up. Just a little at first, but then the ending builds and builds and I start to sniffle.

Then the ending gets even more emotionally traumatic and I let out a stifled sob. DH hasn't yet noticed anything, he's engrossed in Police Story. I'm breathing hard and starting to really cry when a flight attendant, who spoke no English whatsoever, came over to see if I was okay. I waved her off politely, smiling to indicate that I was okay - but still engrossed in the movie.

The ending got worse and I let out a loud sob. My shoulders were trembling and I was gripping my blanket to my running nose and the tears dripping down my face. I had headphones on, so didn't realize quite how loud I was being. I started to hiccup, tears pouring down my face and emitting little sobs. The flight attendant approached me again, this time with a friend. Neither spoke any English, but I assured them that I was fine. They left, reluctantly.

The ending then built even more and I was positively whimpering at this stage. People on the plane were starting to turn around and look at me (I always cause a scene there) but with looks of concern more than curiosity. MIL was starting to notice but I couldn't pay attention - I was engrossed in the movie.

The movie hit its climax and I let loose a howling wail and then descended into inconsolable, loud weeping. My husband was startled out of his movie and was trying to get me to calm down but I was beyond any point of consolation. I was sobbing loudly, head thrown back and making a proper scene with 'waaa' type noises. The flight attendants had rushed over and everyone around me was standing up in their seat staring and trying to make sense of what was happening to the sobbing foreigner - the flight attendants demanded to know what was going on and MIL was just covered in spectators -

I managed to shout out (between sobs) the only coherent sentence in Chinese I could think to string together:

The DVD is so happy!!!! (zhege DVD hao gaoxin le!)

Have you ever heard an entire plane of people burst into laughter? It's quite an experience, let me tell you. And it's not like DH and MIL could pretend not to know me, either.

I travel a lot, but it is never uneventful. Ever. I could fill a book easily with just my China stories alone.

I feel a book deal in the making...

Travel Tips From Tofumonkey--Guaranteed you will come home with stories to tell your friends! 

Sugarplum97

Oh my goodness! You should write a blog about traveling. "What not to do when going to China." I am dying over here.
)

Tofumonkey

Sillygirl45 said:

Tofumonkey said:

Okay, so we were flying (MIL, DH and I) on an internal flight in China, I think we were going from Guilin to Hainan or something.

DH and I were sat together and MIL was just across the aisle. The plane was dark and everyone was watching their little movie screens - I was watching Big Fish, for the first time.

Oh holy hell have you guys seen that movie? Oh my freaking god. The ending!

So we're on this quiet flight full of Chinese people and were the only foreigners on the entire flight. No biggie. But I'm watching this movie and it nears the end and I start to tear up. Just a little at first, but then the ending builds and builds and I start to sniffle.

Then the ending gets even more emotionally traumatic and I let out a stifled sob. DH hasn't yet noticed anything, he's engrossed in Police Story. I'm breathing hard and starting to really cry when a flight attendant, who spoke no English whatsoever, came over to see if I was okay. I waved her off politely, smiling to indicate that I was okay - but still engrossed in the movie.

The ending got worse and I let out a loud sob. My shoulders were trembling and I was gripping my blanket to my running nose and the tears dripping down my face. I had headphones on, so didn't realize quite how loud I was being. I started to hiccup, tears pouring down my face and emitting little sobs. The flight attendant approached me again, this time with a friend. Neither spoke any English, but I assured them that I was fine. They left, reluctantly.

The ending then built even more and I was positively whimpering at this stage. People on the plane were starting to turn around and look at me (I always cause a scene there) but with looks of concern more than curiosity. MIL was starting to notice but I couldn't pay attention - I was engrossed in the movie.

The movie hit its climax and I let loose a howling wail and then descended into inconsolable, loud weeping. My husband was startled out of his movie and was trying to get me to calm down but I was beyond any point of consolation. I was sobbing loudly, head thrown back and making a proper scene with 'waaa' type noises. The flight attendants had rushed over and everyone around me was standing up in their seat staring and trying to make sense of what was happening to the sobbing foreigner - the flight attendants demanded to know what was going on and MIL was just covered in spectators -

I managed to shout out (between sobs) the only coherent sentence in Chinese I could think to string together:

The DVD is so happy!!!! (zhege DVD hao gaoxin le!)

Have you ever heard an entire plane of people burst into laughter? It's quite an experience, let me tell you. And it's not like DH and MIL could pretend not to know me, either.

I travel a lot, but it is never uneventful. Ever. I could fill a book easily with just my China stories alone.

I feel a book deal in the making...

Travel Tips From Tofumonkey--Guaranteed you will come home with stories to tell your friends! 

You're very sweet, thanks! I've just finished writing my first book, actually. I've shopped it out to a number of agents and am now spending the next two months fluttering around like a cracked out squirrel until June 1st (the deadline I've decided on for self-publishing). The stress is absolutely killing me.

It's not a travel book (though there's a diseased traveling chapter at the back) but a comical account of being a patient in hospital. We'll see how it goes, I'd like to put a travel story book together next - even if it is just for fun and the pity buys from my obligated family members.

Sillygirl45

Tofumonkey said: You're very sweet, thanks! I've just finished writing my first book, actually. I've shopped it out to a number of agents and am now spending the next two months fluttering around like a cracked out squirrel until June 1st (the deadline I've decided on for self-publishing). The stress is absolutely killing me.

It's not a travel book (though there's a diseased traveling chapter at the back) but a comical account of being a patient in hospital. We'll see how it goes, I'd like to put a travel story book together next - even if it is just for fun and the pity buys from my obligated family members.
That sounds awesome! Let me know how it goes and if/where I can buy it. 

There's a book by a woman who had Guillian Barre that was required reading in nursing school. It was good and eye opening, but something with humor (I think) would be great counter balance. 

Tofumonkey

Will do, for sure!

I have a rare autoimmune disease. It's not a book about my disease at all, nor are there any forced epiphanies on the meaning of life. It's more about my experience with falling hospital elevators, sobbing student nurses trying to stab me, having to be surgically removed from my own sweater for an x-ray, an incident with a bedpan, hospital transport losing me in a ghetto, exploding chairs at chemotherapy and breaking up a fight with my IV pole in the cafeteria.

It's JUST humorous stories, really. And horrifically embarrassing.

But I figure that if I can get some of my experiences out there and it gives even just one person sat alone in a dark hospital room something to laugh at until they cried and busted a stitch then it will have achieved everything I want for it.

I've practically lived in hospitals for the last 3 years - I just want to brighten the experience for other people if I can.

We all have our weird passions, right? It was either this or knitting.

Sillygirl45

That is so awesome! I think that is exactly the thing...you can laugh or cry, an though tears are absolutely necessary and have their place, breaking up a fight with an IV pole is ALWAYS funny! Personally, I've had all the Chicken Soul for the Soul I can take. Maybe you can start a new trend! If not, it's never too late to jump on that knitting bandwagon.

Those autoimmune disorders are bastards. I wish you all the best! 

Tofumonkey

Thanks! That means a lot coming from a nurse!

I was very careful to write it in a non-complaining way. No complaints about doctors or nurses - they are fantastic people. More so writing about roommates from hell (one with a special needs pirate prostitute brigade, I kid you not), roomies having threesomes on the ward, when the entire ward revolted over the food... breaking a PET scan machine and stuff like that.

I absolutely hate it when people complain about doctors and nurses. It's like people forget that medical professionals are also people.

Sillygirl45

Oh, there are some rotten doctors and nurses too. Great for the most part, but I have looked at coworkers before, while they're talking to a patient or family, and thought, "If that were me or my family, I would punch you in the face.". Luckily, most are pretty great!

Sugarplum97

You have to let us know the minuet it available. I would love to read it! One of my friends has an undiagnosed illness and she spends a lot of time in the hospital, I will have to get her a copy of it, she will totally love it! She has been looking for a book like this for a long time. The is the best idea, I get sick and tired of sappy books.

Tofumonkey

You guys are too sweet!

And I have totally highjacked this thread. Sorry!

Sigmatam

nothing wrong w/ hijacking the thread. I keep checking back for new stories of your life/ snafoos in China.
Congrats on finishing your first book. Is it humorous like the China stories?

Tofumonkey

LOL - thanks! (I think...) I like to think that even though I've got some sucky stuff going on in my life that hey, at least it isn't boring!

It's meant to be humorous, in some parts far more than any of my China stories. I'm not an imaginative person, so it's all just from memory and recounting things that happened. A lot of the really good ones (my favourites) are far too long to c&p into a forum post - but I think it's funny. Here's a short (ish) one:

Sobbing Student Nurses with Sharp Objects

I simply cannot win when it comes to needles, and I have now accepted this. In a scenario where something could go wrong for me it most certainly will go wrong, and I will often get a new phlebotomist whose only patient before me was a grapefruit. Ces’t la vie, right? Everyone has to start somewhere – why not start on me?

I had arrived at the chemo ward a little later than usual and settled into my chair, unpacking my weapons of distraction (book, laptop, iPad, chargers and fruit) and settling in for a long day. The other patients all had their cannulas in by then and, as I was on month nine of chemo at the ward the nursing staff all were quite friendly and knew me by name.

I knew there would be a downside to being nice.

The nurses huddled together and approached me like a pack of hungry lions trying to placate a panicking, wounded gazelle. Meet Julia, they said – a new student nurse on the ward who has been shadowing the cannula nurse for the last week or so, would you mind if she did your cannula today?

What was I going to say, no? Why not? I replied. I’m sure she will be fine and I’m used to being stabbed. Hell, I’ve given enough blood over the last year to keep a vampire family of six well fed. We’ll be fine. Then my eyes saw Julia.

She looked a bit shaky. Was she hyperventilating? Oh crap. This wasn’t going to be good. Why was she avoiding my eye contact? Alright, alright. It will be just fine. She’s got a supervisor and the other nursing staff are watching over her. Someone will jump in with a tourniquet if need be. It’s fine.

Julia starts to prep her cart and wheel it over. The other nurses have backed off a bit, but they aren’t leaving. A hush has fallen over the room as the other patients crane their necks to watch the show. Admittedly we don’t get much for entertainment up there. She starts lifting long needles up to examine them in the light directly within my line of sight as my heebie-jeebies kick in and I shudder. “Are you alright?” a nurse inquires – I’m fine, just felt a bit of a draft. I’m fine.

The tourniquet goes on my arm and I ask her to move it up so the cannula can go in closer to my elbow. She wants to put it in my hand, as the veins there are so big and thick. Seriously. Can we not talk about veins while doing this?! She resigns to put it up by my elbow and starts feeling around with her fingers, finding a vein and rolling it around under her fingers. She describes it to her supervisor as I start to feel a bit nauseas, and he feels around in my arm for the same vein, rolling it around and confirming her description. I can see this is going to take a long time and that I need to get my mind off of it so I pick up my book in an attempt to distract myself. All right, she says… “sharp scratch.”

It’s a miss.

A complete miss. She thankfully realized it and pulled the needle out right away, her confidence faltered. The supervisor tells her it’s fine, just feel for the vein again and take her time. He checks that I am alright with this and I assure him that I don’t mind a bit, everyone has to start somewhere and I’m in the right place if it goes badly. She didn’t like the joke and now looks visibly upset. Oh crap. I give her a smile of encouragement (what was I thinking? Am I mental?!) and go back to pretending to read my book. “Sharp scratch” she says.

It’s another miss. What is this, Battleship?!

But she doesn’t take it straight back out, she starts digging around. Oh no, this is not good. I can feel it wiggling around in there, dragging, ripping a path through my flesh. The supervisor tells her that she is nearly there. I can’t look. I am starting to get really nauseas and can feel myself sweating. I want so badly to rip my arm away and throw my book at them but I don’t, I keep it still and keep it together – until I heard a sob that wasn’t mine. Oh my god, was she crying? What? I looked, I should never have looked.

The student nurse was sat there with my arm in one hand and the wiggling needle in the other, tears pouring down her face and the kindly supervisor assuring her that it was okay, she’s almost got it, keep going, you’re almost there. There was blood running down my arm and pooling on the blue paper towel covering her lap. My blood. This girl was sobbing and I doubt she could really even see through her tears. I was too Canadian, I assured her that she was doing a great job though the other nurses, suddenly noticing how pale and sweaty I had become, ran for cups of water and papers to fan me with, calling for another nurse to set up an electric fan.

And so I sat there being stabbed repeatedly by a sobbing student nurse, fanned by two others and water being held to my lips by a fourth nurse as the cannula finally made it into a vein and the supervisor guided this poor, traumatized girl through the taping and flushing procedure – only to find that they couldn’t draw blood out of the cannula. I told them they wouldn’t be able to. The supervisor asked if I would mind if Julia drew blood from the other arm, assuring me that it would be much easier and quicker.

Sigh. Everyone’s got to learn at some point, right?