My sister got engaged 3 years ago while she was still in college (I believe he didn't want her to move back home after graduation but that's irrelevent) and is still making no plans for a wedding. I'm happy about that because I strongly dislike her fiance. He and my sister moved in with my parents so that they could save money while searching for jobs. We live in a city where jobs are available. My sister got a job right off the bat working in HR and making a decent salary for her young age and experience. Her fiance is still searching and working PT for a tow truck company. In my eyes they basically mooch off my parents and bring nothing financially to the table.
Well my family finds out that my sister's fiance got busted trying to buy drugs. Serious drugs. My sister was in the vehicle. My family is devastated and wondering if my sister is doing drugs too. I confront her and she denies using and plays the clueless victim in all of this. My family has avoided further confrontation at all costs and my parents STILL allow these two to live with them. Ridiculous. I am actually playing the bad guy in all this because I have banned her fiance from my home. I already disliked him and this was the final straw. I'm basically taking the stand that there is no tolerance for drugs. My husband is a cop and we have a 4 month old at home. I would just rather rid myself from this loser.
Problem is my sister is sticking with him and my sister and I are close. She knows i don't like him and that he's banned from my house, but when we talk, we just don't talk about him. Am I out of line? I've never had a heart to heart with my sister about this because she tries to avoid it. Sometimes I feel like I'm just stirring up drama but I really wish something would be done in this situation.
Re: Am I in the wrong?
But there may come a time where this does all come to ahead. What if you host a holiday? Or have a b-day dinner for her at your house...??? Well, honestly, I wouldn't recommend the latter of those 2, only because you know that will cause drama.
But for stuff like holidays, or for YOUR nuclear family - you have every right to say he can't be in your home. You just have to be prepared for if there comes a time where she draws the line in the sand. She might not - if she does kind of "get it" but just can't get rid of him, she may just stay silent. But if she does- you have to be prepared. What are you willing to do/ how far are you willing to push this? There might come a time where the two of you are distant. HOpefully not forever, but for at least awhile.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Thanks for your responses. There will come a time when I will have to see him and I'm cringing at the thought of how awkward it will be! Guess I'll just have to remain poised and civil.
How would I push this if my sister won't accept that he is an addict?