What does Marriage Mean to You?

Sugarplum97

I am taking a Marriage and Family class for my psychology degree. I am supposed to get opinions on what people think marriage is about from a form of social media. I won't use names or anything, I'm just supposed to get an over view.

What is marriage about to you?

Thanks.

GilliC

A piece of legal paperwork that's required for certain tax, insurance, and immigration benefits.

Tofumonkey

There are two questions there to me - what does marriage itself mean to me, or what does my marriage mean to me? Totally different things.

In general though, my view of marriage has changed greatly with the times. It used to mean a lifelong commitment, but now it doesn't and seems as though that is now the rarity.

Sillygirl45

A legal union of two parties in order to combine assets (if desired) and take advantage of available benefits only given to married people.

That is my technical definition of marriage.

I'm with Tofu here...I think it's a dual question. 

What MY marriage means to me is...knowing we are a team. One fight isn't going to do us in. However, I don't believe it is unconditional love. Everyone has their deal breakers and I think I know mine. There may be some that come up in the future that I couldn't have foreseen. 

In the end, my marriage is strong because we both made a very conscious decision to marry someone who was compatible with our view of the future, religious beliefs (or tolerance, understanding, and acceptance of lack there of), views of the world, work ethics, mutual respect of one another's strengths and weaknesses, and really just a strong respect for one another in general. 

What I love about my H is he is always willing to work with me and talk through our issues and disagreements. It was a big thing I was looking for in a partner and I found it in him. The biggest problem I have seen in marriages is one party not being willing to compromise or even discuss issues.

In my opinion, you get to stay in my life if you make it better. If you make it worse, or won't work with me...you need to go. Simple, but effective.

KatieCutie05

Marriage is the loving union of a man and a woman who are joined together as one before God. Its the commitment to be by each others side through thick and thin, put their needs above your own. To always love, honor and respect one another even when they don't deserve it. 

Im surprised how many ppl say its just legal. That's got nothing to do with it to me. Marriage is a biblical union recognized by the US government. 

GilliC

KatieCutie05 said:

Its the commitment to be by each others side through thick and thin, put their needs above your own. To always love, honor and respect one another even when they don't deserve it.

I consider it "just legal" because I believe that you can have all of the above without the legal document.

crystaldbl

GilliC said:

KatieCutie05 said:

Its the commitment to be by each others side through thick and thin, put their needs above your own. To always love, honor and respect one another even when they don't deserve it.

I consider it "just legal" because I believe that you can have all of the above without the legal document.



Exactly. My husband & I had a marriage years before we decided to make it legally binding. To me marriage is a conscious decision on a daily basis to spend my life with him. We are family.

sillygoosegirl

Legal marriage, or social marriage?  And in what century?  Marriage has meant so many things at different times and different places.  Even here today, I think there's a big division between two things both of which we call marriage.  

My modern ideal of social marriage would be an agreement between two equals to share a life together and be a family.  

Legal marriage is the legal framework by which we recognize these important family relationships and grant (hopefully logically and appropriately) rights and responsibilities to the involved parties appropriate to the social importance of the relationship.  When I say "importance," I don't mean how much you love each other, but rather the way that, for the vast majority of us, the spouse is the only family member we ever choose, a person's closest relative, and the magnitude of the economic inter-dependency that often develops over a lifetime choices made for the good of the family.

Leftie22

I'm not sure I actually expect anything different from a marriage than from a long-term relationship. Honesty, loyalty, support, company, affection, etc. I guess being married does add some extra degree of security, because you can't just bolt without some serious legal implications. But I would have been fine with not being married. My DH is more traditional than me and didn't want to have kids without being married. I was pregnant before the wedding rolled around though.

jennifermcnatt

Marriage to me is sacred. ( I know most don't feel this way anymore.) Its 2 people making one life together forever. For better for worse till death do you part. 

CJ12211

Marriage to me is two people choose to come together and commit to love, respect, and support each other.  

CJ12211

*is when*

wiggsaj

It's God's way of combining two souls and making them one. It's a promise, or vow, if you will. It's a lifetime warrenty that even if you're broken, your best friend is not going to leave you. It's a beautiful, or sometimes not so beautiful, way of life that some people refer to as an "adventure." It's a kiss every morning and another before bed, and then a lot more kisses in between. It's a chore and a challenge as long as it's not exciting, but a wild rollercoaster ride that you waited in line for hours for if it is. It's everything you make it, and everything you don't. It's eternity. It's a "I'll do the dishes if you take out the garbage" contract. It's a go to bed angry, no matter what Ne-Yo tells you, in order to avoid breaking a hole through the wall, and discuss it in the morning over a warm cup of tea. It's waking up before the sun because your sweet daughter had yet another nightmare, for the third night in a row. It's the rocking chairs and yelling at people for stepping on your lawn all the way to the darker side which consists of deadly pain, but still promising to cuddle for a while, that all comes with growing old. It's the, no matter what happens, we will sit down and work this out, because divorce is not an option. It's much, much more than a piece of paper, or some legally binding contract promising shared assets and money. Those things only exist while they last, but marriage lasts as long as it exists. Until you sign that paper, there is always hope that your marriage can and will become just as beautiful as it was when you said "I do."

Maybe I'm just naive, but that's what I believe marriage is.