I don't like spending money

anssett

Not entirely. I've gotten comfortable spending money on experiences, and small amounts of money on food and consumables. I love travel! But I really dislike stuff. I don't want to own much stuff and I hate spending money on stuff. The complication is my husband isn't quite like me. He got a big annual bonus and requested we buy a new couch (ours used to be his grandmother's!) I thought I was OK with it but now that we have the couch in our living room I wish we hadn't bought it. I want to do things that make my husband happy and balance that against what I want, but it's hard.

Can anyone relate? I think I'm just a non-materialist and we'll have this slight mismatch forever...

emily1004

I'm the spender, H is the saver. He never spends money on himself. He doesn't even like getting gifts. I was the one to compromise. I spend a lot less now and when you're married you have someone to answer to. It will be okay, you'll balance each other out.

hoffse

H really likes to spend on experiences, and he's a big fan of living minimally.  I used to like to spend on stuff, but we pretty much ran out of space after we got all of our wedding gifts, so I haven't gone shopping since right before our wedding

I've been converted to the experiences > stuff mindset in the last year.

But I wouldn't be surprised if I slip back to buying stuff a bit more frequently once we buy a house and have more space.

My H tolerated my spending really well in the past.  I think he chalks a lot of it up to me being a girl, so he just assumes I'm going to be buying purses, shoes, etc. But he also trusts me to get a good deal.  As long as I'm getting a good deal, he doesn't say anything.

I think furniture is a bit different and really shouldn't be categorized as "stuff" in the same way as shoes might be.  A couch is like a 10-15-year commitment (at least). My H is very supportive of buying new furniture, and he sees the value in spending money on it.  It's something you have to live with for a long time, look at every day, and that needs to be good quality if its going to last that long.  It should be right, and that's going to cost money.  We are building our savings to be able to buy a couple of pieces of nice furniture after buying our first house.  He understands that a high-quality buffet for the dining room and a nice couch for the living room will be $$$$.  He's ok with that.

There are definitely compromises in the marriage.  Presumably your H has cut back his own general spending to match your minimalist lifestyle?  I think you likewise have to compromise on things that really are reasonable - and replacing a couch that belonged to one of your grandparents is very reasonable... especially when he's using unbudgetted money from his bonus to do it.

Xstatic3333

I struggle with this too, OP. I can be way too spendy on experiences. I've had to practice saying no to concerts, dinners, trips, etc. big time. However, I loathe spending money on stuff. H is a little bit the opposite. I do agree with hoffse that the couch sounds like a good, responsible purchase as long as you guys can afford it. Marriage is a negotiation (we fell back into the great "how much house can we afford?" debate last night) but it's worth it in the end.

jessica490

I've grown to be like you over the last 1-2 yrs. I've just learned that I don't need all that materialistic crap. I'd rather spend my money on expensive vacations on caribbean islands. I have goals set and I am one to cut back on other things so I can try to meet those goals faster.

H is sorta like me, but he still like to buy things once in awhile (but sometimes I do too). Once we started the cash fun money system on pay days, we've gone to spending less money because that is all we get for 2 weeks so we have to make it last.

I've have aunts,uncles and parents who live frugally and don't buy tons of stuff, just vacations and hobby type things and they are loaded. I've always made fun of them but I think I may be turning into them lol.

KatieCutie05

Oh I really hate spending money too- like i seriously despise spending money. I coupon and shop sales on anything we need and every dollar counts. I've made a fair amount of mistakes with  money in college and now i'm paying for it (literally paying for it - in the form of gigantic student loans) so ever since college i've turned into a major saver/anti spender. Its not that i'd rather spend it on experiences, its that i just plain don't want to spend it at all. Not yet. The only think i care about is paying off my debt, then i'll worry about having a life. Sometimes i seriously wonder if i hate debt too much, but as hard as i try to just not care, i can't do it. DH however should have really been born a millionaire because he wants lots and lots of stuff and lots and lots of experiences. He doesn't think about the cost at all. Ofcourse the cost is all i think of. For the most part we are actually balancing each other out pretty well.... he convinces me to have a life and spend some money.... and i convince him to be more responsible and not spend all our money on stuff and vacations. lol Communication and lots of compromise is key. We still have our disagreements ofcourse but we r both working toward the same goal... he just likes to take detours and the long scenic route while i'm on the expressway. lol

blondie42107

I'm sort of in the middle.  I have no desire to buy spendy shoes, bags, clothes, etc.  However, I love my home and while we had a budget, I was super excited to buy new things when we bought our house.  My must haves were a dining set (still had the one from college/single days), a couple sofas for the living room and a new bed.  Other than that I'm pretty neutral. I compromise on need/price for other things.

jessica490

blondie42107 said:

I'm sort of in the middle.  I have no desire to buy spendy shoes, bags, clothes, etc.  However, I love my home and while we had a budget, I was super excited to buy new things when we bought our house.  My must haves were a dining set (still had the one from college/single days), a couple sofas for the living room and a new bed.  Other than that I'm pretty neutral. I compromise on need/price for other things.

I'm with you on this!

vlagrl29

I'm in the middle as well.  I enjoy spending money when it's planned for.

ta78

I wish I hated spending money. I spend nothing on myself, but I have a hard time when it comes to things like clothes for the kids. Baby girl clothes especially.