For those of us thinking about kids

Xstatic3333 · April 2014

@vlagrl29, I love it! It's fun to drive, handles okay in the snow (I live in MA and have had it two winters), and is extremely roomy inside for how small it looks. I've driven kids in it babysitting and it's gone great. It has excellent safety ratings, including on that new collision test that I learned about from @hoffse on these boards. Would it win in a collision with an SUV? No. But to me safety is also about the features that help you avoid accidents, like great handling and reliability. I honestly think that when it kicks the bucket a LONG time from now, I'll just get another one.

CuriousKiddosMama · April 2014

Wow, it seriously doesn't have to be that expensive. I am a total garage sale and coupon shopper. I often get cute outfits at garage sales for $.25-.50 and if you want to buy new I get them at BRU on clearance for $3. Toys are awesome to pick up at garage sales too. Diapers I coupon for- you should never have to pay over .15 cents for a diaper- and you do need to pay attention to what each diaper costs, not total cost of the package or anything like that. Generally I only pay 10 cents per diaper, and I buy huggies and pampers. I do know that kids are expensive, but we have budgetted $300 a month since LO has been born, and we have pretty much stuck to it. (And that includes my obsession for pictures- which we do monthly). I stock up and take advantage of sales for things I know I'm going to use- diapers, wipes, formula and baby food. I just know my price points and what I'm willing to spend on things. If I can't get it for that price and I am not out at home, I will wait.

vlagrl29 · April 2014

I feel they are much cheaper after you get them off formula, diapers, and baby food. I also love consignment stores for kids clothes.

vlagrl29 · April 2014

Xstatic3333 said:

@vlagrl29, I love it! It's fun to drive, handles okay in the snow (I live in MA and have had it two winters), and is extremely roomy inside for how small it looks. I've driven kids in it babysitting and it's gone great. It has excellent safety ratings, including on that new collision test that I learned about from @hoffse on these boards. Would it win in a collision with an SUV? No. But to me safety is also about the features that help you avoid accidents, like great handling and reliability. I honestly think that when it kicks the bucket a LONG time from now, I'll just get another one.

I will have to check this car out for sure once mine dies and I love my car. DH has a Honda Element so I know Honda's are good cars.

cbee817 · April 2014

vlagrl29 said:

I'm still driving my 2 door ford focus with DD in the back seat, it's totally doable. I plan on using it with baby 2 as well and I will drive my focus until it dies. It beats a car payment IMO.

Once you guys use baby wipes you will find them pretty much able to clean everything. I use them to wipe off counters, tables....they are lovely

This- I have 2 kids and drive a 4-door 2003 honda civic. DH has a 2006 subaru outback. Both are paid off and everyone fits just fine!

lbalek2 · April 2014

How much nipple cream did this lady use!?? I bought 1 bottle and barely used any of it. Having a child (in the beginning) does not have to be this expensive...

marchbaby · April 2014

vlagrl29 said:

I feel they are much cheaper after you get them off formula, diapers, and baby food. I also love consignment stores for kids clothes.

I thought that too until my kids started sports! I will admit they chose an absolutely insanely expensive one (hockey) but they also play lacrosse and basketball and want to add in football but we have no time to make it work. Between the cost of sign ups, equipment and gas to travel all over the state it adds up fast! I literally went from part time to full time at work to pay for it. That said, they love it and its been really good for them (socially, confidence wise, helped my youngest with anxiety).

vlagrl29 · April 2014

marchbaby said:

vlagrl29 said:

I feel they are much cheaper after you get them off formula, diapers, and baby food. I also love consignment stores for kids clothes.

I thought that too until my kids started sports! I will admit they chose an absolutely insanely expensive one (hockey) but they also play lacrosse and basketball and want to add in football but we have no time to make it work. Between the cost of sign ups, equipment and gas to travel all over the state it adds up fast! I literally went from part time to full time at work to pay for it. That said, they love it and its been really good for them (socially, confidence wise, helped my youngest with anxiety).

I highly doubt our DD will go into sports. Both DH and I are creative types and I've already seen her wanting to dance. I know that can get expensive too with buying the classes and dance outfits, but that's why we are limiting DD to 1 activity for awhile....and another reason we will only have 2 kids, we can't afford more than that

hoffse · April 2014

vlagrl29 said:

marchbaby said:

vlagrl29 said:

I feel they are much cheaper after you get them off formula, diapers, and baby food. I also love consignment stores for kids clothes.

I thought that too until my kids started sports! I will admit they chose an absolutely insanely expensive one (hockey) but they also play lacrosse and basketball and want to add in football but we have no time to make it work. Between the cost of sign ups, equipment and gas to travel all over the state it adds up fast! I literally went from part time to full time at work to pay for it. That said, they love it and its been really good for them (socially, confidence wise, helped my youngest with anxiety).

I highly doubt our DD will go into sports. Both DH and I are creative types and I've already seen her wanting to dance. I know that can get expensive too with buying the classes and dance outfits, but that's why we are limiting DD to 1 activity for awhile....and another reason we will only have 2 kids, we can't afford more than that

Wait until she starts pointe shoes. I used to burn through a pair of pointe shoes every couple of months, and usually an entire pair per show. Those were about $70/pair back when I did it. And the tights were like $25/pair for the kind we had to use to be uniform - those would also run like nobody's business so I'd go through a couple pairs a month. My parents just loved it, let me tell you

BUT they still say it was 100% worth it.

vlagrl29 · April 2014

hoffse said:

vlagrl29 said:

marchbaby said:

vlagrl29 said:

I feel they are much cheaper after you get them off formula, diapers, and baby food. I also love consignment stores for kids clothes.

I thought that too until my kids started sports! I will admit they chose an absolutely insanely expensive one (hockey) but they also play lacrosse and basketball and want to add in football but we have no time to make it work. Between the cost of sign ups, equipment and gas to travel all over the state it adds up fast! I literally went from part time to full time at work to pay for it. That said, they love it and its been really good for them (socially, confidence wise, helped my youngest with anxiety).

I highly doubt our DD will go into sports. Both DH and I are creative types and I've already seen her wanting to dance. I know that can get expensive too with buying the classes and dance outfits, but that's why we are limiting DD to 1 activity for awhile....and another reason we will only have 2 kids, we can't afford more than that

Wait until she starts pointe shoes. I used to burn through a pair of pointe shoes every couple of months, and usually an entire pair per show. Those were about $70/pair back when I did it. And the tights were like $25/pair for the kind we had to use to be uniform - those would also run like nobody's business so I'd go through a couple pairs a month. My parents just loved it, let me tell you BUT they still say it was 100% worth it.

crap I'm hoping she doesn't go into ballet now

I took tap and jazz when I was younger and wanted to start ballet but didn't and took music lessons instead. Those instruments get expensive too…..now I'm starting to freak out.

hoffse · April 2014

hoffse said:

vlagrl29 said:

marchbaby said:

vlagrl29 said:

I feel they are much cheaper after you get them off formula, diapers, and baby food. I also love consignment stores for kids clothes.

I thought that too until my kids started sports! I will admit they chose an absolutely insanely expensive one (hockey) but they also play lacrosse and basketball and want to add in football but we have no time to make it work. Between the cost of sign ups, equipment and gas to travel all over the state it adds up fast! I literally went from part time to full time at work to pay for it. That said, they love it and its been really good for them (socially, confidence wise, helped my youngest with anxiety).

I highly doubt our DD will go into sports. Both DH and I are creative types and I've already seen her wanting to dance. I know that can get expensive too with buying the classes and dance outfits, but that's why we are limiting DD to 1 activity for awhile....and another reason we will only have 2 kids, we can't afford more than that

Wait until she starts pointe shoes. I used to burn through a pair of pointe shoes every couple of months, and usually an entire pair per show. Those were about $70/pair back when I did it. And the tights were like $25/pair for the kind we had to use to be uniform - those would also run like nobody's business so I'd go through a couple pairs a month. My parents just loved it, let me tell you BUT they still say it was 100% worth it.

crap I'm hoping she doesn't go into ballet now I took tap and jazz when I was younger and wanted to start ballet but didn't and took music lessons instead. Those instruments get expensive too…..now I'm starting to freak out.

Don't freak out! It will be fine!

vlagrl29 · April 2014

hoffse said:

hoffse said:

vlagrl29 said:

marchbaby said:

vlagrl29 said:

I feel they are much cheaper after you get them off formula, diapers, and baby food. I also love consignment stores for kids clothes.

I thought that too until my kids started sports! I will admit they chose an absolutely insanely expensive one (hockey) but they also play lacrosse and basketball and want to add in football but we have no time to make it work. Between the cost of sign ups, equipment and gas to travel all over the state it adds up fast! I literally went from part time to full time at work to pay for it. That said, they love it and its been really good for them (socially, confidence wise, helped my youngest with anxiety).

I highly doubt our DD will go into sports. Both DH and I are creative types and I've already seen her wanting to dance. I know that can get expensive too with buying the classes and dance outfits, but that's why we are limiting DD to 1 activity for awhile....and another reason we will only have 2 kids, we can't afford more than that

Wait until she starts pointe shoes. I used to burn through a pair of pointe shoes every couple of months, and usually an entire pair per show. Those were about $70/pair back when I did it. And the tights were like $25/pair for the kind we had to use to be uniform - those would also run like nobody's business so I'd go through a couple pairs a month. My parents just loved it, let me tell you BUT they still say it was 100% worth it.

crap I'm hoping she doesn't go into ballet now I took tap and jazz when I was younger and wanted to start ballet but didn't and took music lessons instead. Those instruments get expensive too…..now I'm starting to freak out.
Don't freak out! It will be fine!

yeah it will be fine. My mom stayed at home and I had a great childhood so I know it can be done. Everyone does it, you just need to be smart about money.

Maybride2 · April 2014

It looks like daycare was about $10k of their $24k expenses, so that's a relief since I plan to stay at home with ours. I am hoping my husband has the same job as he does now when we have children because our insurance is pretty awesome. And the people in our life are very giving so I have a feeling we will get more than enough baby things... I am just glad we plan to wait a few years to have little ones. Phew.

Not that it matters, but do you only take home $10k/year at your job? Because yeah, daycare is expensive........but I really don't think many women look at it realistically. If you earn $30k/year and pay $10k/year for daycare, you're still $20k/year ahead. If you quit to be a SAHM, you're down $20k/year as a household. Which doesn't matter, I guess, if you can afford it and want to.......but it's not always the financial no-brainer that it looks like.

lifeonthehill · April 2014

Maybride2 said:

It looks like daycare was about $10k of their $24k expenses, so that's a relief since I plan to stay at home with ours. I am hoping my husband has the same job as he does now when we have children because our insurance is pretty awesome. And the people in our life are very giving so I have a feeling we will get more than enough baby things... I am just glad we plan to wait a few years to have little ones. Phew.
Not that it matters, but do you only take home $10k/year at your job? Because yeah, daycare is expensive........but I really don't think many women look at it realistically. If you earn $30k/year and pay $10k/year for daycare, you're still $20k/year ahead. If you quit to be a SAHM, you're down $20k/year as a household. Which doesn't matter, I guess, if you can afford it and want to.......but it's not always the financial no-brainer that it looks like.

Not that this applies to me because I work part time 35 weeks out of the year and end up making less then daycare would cost for the 52 weeks that I would have to pay to hold a permanent spot. Staying home is my only option right now.

But... Some people would rather lose that money to stay home and make it work. Not to mention some people don't need to worry too much about loosing that money in the first place. We have friends who just had their third. They spent $20,000 for her to get a degree while she stayed home with the first two so they could get her a good job and easily afford the daycare. After her first job offer they decided to have another kid and for her to stay home at least another 5 years instead.

formerlyGDaisy09 · April 2014

My mom made me get a job/babysit to pay for my pointe shoes. I still dance and last show I was in I dropped $600 on shoes...glad I negotiated to have my shoes reimbursed!

vlagrl29 · April 2014

alyssa32713 said:

Maybride2 said:

It looks like daycare was about $10k of their $24k expenses, so that's a relief since I plan to stay at home with ours. I am hoping my husband has the same job as he does now when we have children because our insurance is pretty awesome. And the people in our life are very giving so I have a feeling we will get more than enough baby things... I am just glad we plan to wait a few years to have little ones. Phew.
Not that it matters, but do you only take home $10k/year at your job? Because yeah, daycare is expensive........but I really don't think many women look at it realistically. If you earn $30k/year and pay $10k/year for daycare, you're still $20k/year ahead. If you quit to be a SAHM, you're down $20k/year as a household. Which doesn't matter, I guess, if you can afford it and want to.......but it's not always the financial no-brainer that it looks like.

Not that this applies to me because I work part time 35 weeks out of the year and end up making less then daycare would cost for the 52 weeks that I would have to pay to hold a permanent spot. Staying home is my only option right now.

But... Some people would rather lose that money to stay home and make it work. Not to mention some people don't need to worry too much about loosing that money in the first place. We have friends who just had their third. They spent $20,000 for her to get a degree while she stayed home with the first two so they could get her a good job and easily afford the daycare. After her first job offer they decided to have another kid and for her to stay home at least another 5 years instead.

Dang that sucks. There would be no point in me going back to school at this point. I love staying at home and it wouldn't pay for us to do daycare either, so I'm glad we don't have that extra expense to worry about.

Maybride2 · April 2014

Maybride2 said:

It looks like daycare was about $10k of their $24k expenses, so that's a relief since I plan to stay at home with ours. I am hoping my husband has the same job as he does now when we have children because our insurance is pretty awesome. And the people in our life are very giving so I have a feeling we will get more than enough baby things... I am just glad we plan to wait a few years to have little ones. Phew.
Not that it matters, but do you only take home $10k/year at your job? Because yeah, daycare is expensive........but I really don't think many women look at it realistically. If you earn $30k/year and pay $10k/year for daycare, you're still $20k/year ahead. If you quit to be a SAHM, you're down $20k/year as a household. Which doesn't matter, I guess, if you can afford it and want to.......but it's not always the financial no-brainer that it looks like.

Not that this applies to me because I work part time 35 weeks out of the year and end up making less then daycare would cost for the 52 weeks that I would have to pay to hold a permanent spot. Staying home is my only option right now.

But... Some people would rather lose that money to stay home and make it work. Not to mention some people don't need to worry too much about loosing that money in the first place. We have friends who just had their third. They spent $20,000 for her to get a degree while she stayed home with the first two so they could get her a good job and easily afford the daycare. After her first job offer they decided to have another kid and for her to stay home at least another 5 years instead.

I I acknowledged that it might not matter. I fully realize that some families don't care. I was just pointing out that put into perspective daycare really isn't that big of a hardship for many families. I also hate that you never, ever hear a man talk about how much of his paycheck goes towards daycare. And with respect to your friend, her degree will be pretty much worthless in 5 years with no job experience to go with it. Again - if they don't care, more power to them.....not many families could throw $20k down the drain like that.

hoffse · April 2014

^^ Re: the conversation above: H and I will do daycare simply because losing my income would be a huge blow. That said, I live in a part of the country where many many women do give up their careers when they have kids - and people just sort of expect it. I know families that have gone into debt to do it because it's "what you're supposed to do." That mindset is changing, but I think we're a bit behind the rest of the country in that respect.

I'm honestly dreading the judgey comments about it. Even my very well-intentioned close friends have made comments like, "Well you won't have to work long! You'll have kids soon!" Ummm.... no. Because losing my income would put a huge strain on us financially. Our debt is manageable because we both will be working when H's loans go into repayment. And I'm not willing to wait until our student loans are gone to start having kids. We have hundreds of thousands to pay back - not just tens - and we're on the 7-year plan so that we can continue living life while paying that down.

Sigh. I think it's great when people can make it work. It doesn't make sense for us though. Soon I'll be side-eyed by basically everybody I know (minus my husband and parents) for continuing my career. So many people assume we're wealthy because we're both going to be lawyers. Nope, not when that much goes out the door each month for student loans.

Xstatic3333 · April 2014

Maybride2 said:

alyssa32713 said:

Maybride2 said:

ashleyjesse1112 said:
It looks like daycare was about $10k of their $24k expenses, so that's a relief since I plan to stay at home with ours. I am hoping my husband has the same job as he does now when we have children because our insurance is pretty awesome. And the people in our life are very giving so I have a feeling we will get more than enough baby things... I am just glad we plan to wait a few years to have little ones. Phew.
Not that it matters, but do you only take home $10k/year at your job? Because yeah, daycare is expensive........but I really don't think many women look at it realistically. If you earn $30k/year and pay $10k/year for daycare, you're still $20k/year ahead. If you quit to be a SAHM, you're down $20k/year as a household. Which doesn't matter, I guess, if you can afford it and want to.......but it's not always the financial no-brainer that it looks like.

Not that this applies to me because I work part time 35 weeks out of the year and end up making less then daycare would cost for the 52 weeks that I would have to pay to hold a permanent spot. Staying home is my only option right now.

But... Some people would rather lose that money to stay home and make it work. Not to mention some people don't need to worry too much about loosing that money in the first place. We have friends who just had their third. They spent $20,000 for her to get a degree while she stayed home with the first two so they could get her a good job and easily afford the daycare. After her first job offer they decided to have another kid and for her to stay home at least another 5 years instead.

I

I acknowledged that it might not matter. I fully realize that some families don't care. I was just pointing out that put into perspective daycare really isn't that big of a hardship for many families. I also hate that you never, ever hear a man talk about how much of his paycheck goes towards daycare. And with respect to your friend, her degree will be pretty much worthless in 5 years with no job experience to go with it. Again - if they don't care, more power to them.....not many families could throw $20k down the drain like that.

I think the decision to stay home is soooo personal that it's really important not to judge either way. Situations change-I don't think money spent on education is ever "down the drain." I'm planning to work myself (I'll only net about $200 a week if we end up needing full-time care, but want to work) but would never, ever judge any mom OR dad for making the opposite choice. Heck, our minds could change once a LO arrives-but this would NOT mean either of our educations were a waste. There's more to life than money sometimes.

lifeonthehill · April 2014

hoffse said:

^^ Re: the conversation above: H and I will do daycare simply because losing my income would be a huge blow. That said, I live in a part of the country where many many women do give up their careers when they have kids - and people just sort of expect it. I know families that have gone into debt to do it because it's "what you're supposed to do." That mindset is changing, but I think we're a bit behind the rest of the country in that respect.

I'm honestly dreading the judgey comments about it. Even my very well-intentioned close friends have made comments like, "Well you won't have to work long! You'll have kids soon!" Ummm.... no. Because losing my income would put a huge strain on us financially. Our debt is manageable because we both will be working when H's loans go into repayment. And I'm not willing to wait until our student loans are gone to start having kids. We have hundreds of thousands to pay back - not just tens - and we're on the 7-year plan so that we can continue living life while paying that down.

Sigh. I think it's great when people can make it work. It doesn't make sense for us though. Soon I'll be side-eyed by basically everybody I know (minus my husband and parents) for continuing my career. So many people assume we're wealthy because we're both going to be lawyers. Nope, not when that much goes out the door each month for student loans.

Everyone wants different things from life. Some women want to be home and others don't. Nothing to judge. I have a lot of respect for working moms. I don't think I could do it.

Maybride2 · April 2014

Absolutely it's a personal choice. As long as the family can afford whatever they're doing, I've got nothing but respect for it. Being a parent - being a mom - is tough no matter what.

vlagrl29 · April 2014

I hate all the mom wars that go on. Everyone does what they think is best for their family. I love staying at home with DD, I personally couldn't see it any other way. We are in a financial place where I can do so and we are not strapped for $$. Other women love their career and would be happier working full time than staying at home. It's personal choice.

Wulfgar · April 2014

I agree, it is up to the family whether the mom can stay home or in the case of my one friend, he stays home because she has the degree that pays a good salary.

What I find troubling is how the media condemns women no matter what choice they make.

lifeonthehill · April 2014

Wulfgar said:
What I find troubling is how the media condemns women no matter what choice they make.

It is interesting. I always wanted to be a SAHM and in the third grade we wrote a paper about what we wanted to be when we grew up to read in front of the class. I read mine and my teacher actually had me write another one because I was "too bright to waste my life at home." My family was very upset with that because in my big Mormon family that was the norm.

brij2006 · April 2014

hoffse said:

^^ Re: the conversation above: H and I will do daycare simply because losing my income would be a huge blow. That said, I live in a part of the country where many many women do give up their careers when they have kids - and people just sort of expect it. I know families that have gone into debt to do it because it's "what you're supposed to do." That mindset is changing, but I think we're a bit behind the rest of the country in that respect.

I'm honestly dreading the judgey comments about it. Even my very well-intentioned close friends have made comments like, "Well you won't have to work long! You'll have kids soon!" Ummm.... no. Because losing my income would put a huge strain on us financially. Our debt is manageable because we both will be working when H's loans go into repayment. And I'm not willing to wait until our student loans are gone to start having kids. We have hundreds of thousands to pay back - not just tens - and we're on the 7-year plan so that we can continue living life while paying that down.

Sigh. I think it's great when people can make it work. It doesn't make sense for us though. Soon I'll be side-eyed by basically everybody I know (minus my husband and parents) for continuing my career. So many people assume we're wealthy because we're both going to be lawyers. Nope, not when that much goes out the door each month for student loans.

This is the norm in our area too. I'm very successful in my career, and am definitely a career oriented person. Even a lot of my clients will ask how much longer I'm planning on working with their accounts until I have kids and SAH. Um, I didn't pay $60k for a degree to not use it.

I would love to SAH and do other things while staying home (gardening, volunteer, PTA, etc). However, we love our lifestyle and know we can't have anywhere near the lifestyle we do without my income. There's things we want to do with our children and college funds we want fully funded (neither of our parents had them for us). We wouldn't be able to do that on just H's income.

What's frustrating is the judgement on this decision. You want other people to raise your kids? How dare you. But yet if you want to stay home, then people ask if you can truly afford it.

formerlyGDaisy09 · April 2014

brij2006 said:

hoffse said:

^^ Re: the conversation above: H and I will do daycare simply because losing my income would be a huge blow. That said, I live in a part of the country where many many women do give up their careers when they have kids - and people just sort of expect it. I know families that have gone into debt to do it because it's "what you're supposed to do." That mindset is changing, but I think we're a bit behind the rest of the country in that respect.

I'm honestly dreading the judgey comments about it. Even my very well-intentioned close friends have made comments like, "Well you won't have to work long! You'll have kids soon!" Ummm.... no. Because losing my income would put a huge strain on us financially. Our debt is manageable because we both will be working when H's loans go into repayment. And I'm not willing to wait until our student loans are gone to start having kids. We have hundreds of thousands to pay back - not just tens - and we're on the 7-year plan so that we can continue living life while paying that down.

Sigh. I think it's great when people can make it work. It doesn't make sense for us though. Soon I'll be side-eyed by basically everybody I know (minus my husband and parents) for continuing my career. So many people assume we're wealthy because we're both going to be lawyers. Nope, not when that much goes out the door each month for student loans.

This is the norm in our area too. I'm very successful in my career, and am definitely a career oriented person. Even a lot of my clients will ask how much longer I'm planning on working with their accounts until I have kids and SAH. Um, I didn't pay $60k for a degree to not use it.
I would love to SAH and do other things while staying home (gardening, volunteer, PTA, etc). However, we love our lifestyle and know we can't have anywhere near the lifestyle we do without my income. There's things we want to do with our children and college funds we want fully funded (neither of our parents had them for us). We wouldn't be able to do that on just H's income.
What's frustrating is the judgement on this decision. You want other people to raise your kids? How dare you. But yet if you want to stay home, then people ask if you can truly afford it.

In our area I think the judegment goes the opposite direction, people are more likely to question women who choose to SAH, however I'd say there is less judgement overall. (yay liberal New England?). Since H and I haven't had money to spend on vacations the past few years I've often used my vacation time to just stay at home and get things done, and I have to say if I were to SAH I would have so much to keep myself busy with, even with out LOs in the picture!

That said I love my job and I think my career would take a huge hit if I took a few years off to SAH, and that's a shame. I recently spoke with a collegue who took 10+ years out of the workforce to raise and homeschool kids, she got a degree in that time, but she was finding it extremely difficult to make her way back into full-time work at the same level she had when she decided to SAH. She said she didn't regret it, but wished she had kepts some part time work to make re-entering the workforce easier. I thought it was interesting, even if most your salary goes towards child care, SAH has a higher cost than just current salary.

ashleyjesse1112 · April 2014

Our goal is to be able to afford me staying home until they go to school. The only way it can be done for us is to be as frugal as possible. My first thought was $24k on a child in the first year, how can we afford that?! But after realizing almost half was daycare, which we don't plan to pay, it makes it sound more affordable. I personally don't have a career I enjoy, and plan to change careers once they go to school to something I previously did before, but doesn't pay as much as what I do now. We are waiting to have children so we can buy/hopefully pay off a house before they come. That's our goals anyways, to work hard for about 5 years in order to have a house without a mortgage. Everyone has their goals and like everyone has said, it's a personal decision. It's nice to see that people here on this forum aren't judgmental like so many others in real life.

Keeptruckin · April 2014

Honestly, it kind of balances out, at least with one. Where before I would easily spend 50 on just a cute shirt I didn't need and maybe some makeup at target, now I will spend it on DD instead. Basically 80 percent of our disposable income goes to her now lol! Yes, we have real costs like food, college savings, preschool, etc. but we don't go out as much anymore so it evens out.

For those of us thinking about kids

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