How do you keep your mind off disappointment and stress (TTC vent)

LDubHawksFan

I know we have only been TTC for 9 months, and "it could take a year", but this weekend's AF arrival really hit me hard. The fact that we aren't having a baby in 2015 just sucks and the months where if we were lucky enough to conceive early on (my naive self thought about a May EDD last summer when we first started trying) are starting to creep up, so it kind of gives it a new perspective of how long it is.

Stats don't make me feel ok anymore. Sure 85% conceive within this first year of trying, but 80% conceive within the first 6 months, so I feel like we are working on an uphill battle. And we have done the laid back, see what happens months; we've done the charting and knowing we have had 6 months of great timing. I'm going to take the month off from temping.

I just can't help but letting the questions of whether something is wrong with my body creep into my head, but yet I know we are still 3 months from even starting the process to find out. And I know that in itself is a stressful process. And damn it, it's not that easy to "just relax". Haha

---- end vent-----

I know there are ladies here that have been trying longer than me and I really hope my vent doesn't come across as AWish. I'm sorry. I realize it's still early; this cycle just stung more.

So I guess I was wondering what you ladies do to help get your mind off frustrations and disappointments. I've been doing an art class to have a creative outlet for months and I love it. I've tried to dump myself into house hunting recently, but that is kind of adding another layer of stress in itself!! Ha. What are some other ideas to keep my mind off things??? TIA!!

Eta: holy wall of text. Sorry about the novel and I tried to break it up some!

islandmonkey8

No matter where you are in TTC ... AF sucks. 

As far as keeping it off my mind, I try to go to the gym. Watch funny movies. Hide PG AWs on FB. Oh, and drinking. Yes. Not the best way.

Also, talking about it with DH and the ladies on GP here on the Nest helps a lot. Not ignoring it is sometimes better for me instead of ignoring it.

I do hope you get your BFP soon though!

ramstein1027

I look at cute pictures of animals on the internet (seriously), watch cartoons, work out (I found a great Yoga for Stress Relief workout on Youtube), and read magazines to de-stress.  I have anxiety and it's not always easy to turn off the stress, but if I can manage to get over the hump of distracting myself, that usually does it.  

Hugs for you!  I'm sorry you're having such a hard time that goes for you too @islandmonkey8!

mrshall1027

I totally understand the pain of not conceiving when you want to.  You have every right to feel the way that you do, so don't beat yourself up about that.  May I ask how old you are?  Also, do you feel like there could be something wrong?  If I were in your situation, I would probably look into testing, even if it hasn't been a year.  I think it's absolutely stupid if a doctor would deny any testing just because it hasn't been a year of TTC.  So, maybe look into that and see if you could get the ball rolling on that sooner.  Also, if you never said anything about TTC to your doctor, you could always fib and say it's been a year! :P

As for distractions, let me tell ya, I am the queen of that!!  H and I have dived into remodeling our house again and really enjoy all the different projects we've gotten into.  I think that's something that has really helped keep my mind off things and do something that I enjoy.  I've also decided to finally get in the shape that I want to be in, so a lot of my focus is on working out and eating healthy.  And finally, I've gotten back into baking.  H's birthday is this weekend, so I'll be spending most of the week working on his cake.  My stepdaughters birthday is coming up and I'm planning out a Frozen themed cake for them.  I'm also coming up with ideas for Easter, Memorial Day and 4th of July.

So, I say all that to say, do something that you enjoy.  Do something that will make you happy and a better person.  And, honestly, try to relax.  Stress could be a huge factor in your overall health, so just try to let go and let be as much as possible.  It's easier said than done obviously, but hopefully you can get to a place of peace while going through this journey.

Hang in there!  ((hugs))

LDubHawksFan

Thanks ladies! I need to get back into working out regularly. My weight is fine, but I feel like that would be a great release. I think I'll really enjoy projects if we buy this new house. I am going to lay off the bump forums though. It's been great to have women to talk to about TTC, but I think it only encourages focusing on it too. Maybe just not participating in that will help to make the next 3 cycles not seem like forever!

@ystaalenburg I'm going to be 30 in a few months. I'm really happy that I temped because I got a much better idea of what my cycle is like, and I confirmed O many times, so that is a relief. But I also feel that knowing that, it's more of a mystery why it hasn't worked yet. I have also had really short periods. Like light 1 day periods the last two, though this one seems like it might be a light 2 day one (sorry tmi). I'm going to contact my dr about that when this one is done. As for skirting the year, I don't think my DH would like that. He is kind of by the books and since he heard it directly from the dr at the preconception seminar, I doubt he would want to lie to push it up. Right now I'm going to include our first month off bcp and ntnp in our yr estimate to the dr though, which is early July. Lol nice bday present!

Ahh, thanks again ladies. I feel like even just writing out how I was feeling lifted a weight and hopefully I will just get up and move on from this bummed out state. Thanks again!! And good luck to you ladies trying too!!

mrshall1027

My H is the same with being by the books, so I get that.  I hope you get your BFP soon and won't even need to worry about any testing whatsoever!

catwine

My heart goes out to all of you who have been TTC for a while.  We've only been at it a few months but i still find it disappointing when AF comes.  

I don;t know if you're spiritual or anything like that, but we're Christians and are leaving the baby timing up to God so that kind of keeps me at peace (I'm not intending to offend anyone with that statement!!/).  

I also try to avert my eyes at any baby related facebook or pinterest posts.

minionlover

We haven't been trying for very long but it still sucks so much every time my period comes. I was late this last cycle and then found out that my step sister was pregnant the day my period came. I am going to be 35 next week and that scares me.

I feel the same way that you do. I even cried this past cycle. I know other people have been trying longer than me and I shouldn't get so discouraged. Ill be honest and say that I try to stay away from our ttc posts and never go on the bump. I don't like to talk about it much online since I never know who might be reading. I try not to think about it too much which I hope helps.

LDubHawksFan

Thanks ladies! Cathy I'm sorry to hear about your frustrations too. I think backing away from the bump will be really good for me. I'm only going to check in on our posts. Working our last night felt so good too! And my bump "addiction" may just get replaced by Pinterest while I dream of projects for our next home!!!

@Christinavy, I have a hard time wondering why God makes it hard for some couples who are so deserving to have children, but I do pray a lot about it. I pray that He helps me through my pain and envy that have come over me during this process, because that isn't who I usually am.

Also, I really didn't mean that the pregnant women in our group couldn't weigh in on stress relief in general.

catwine

@lwoehlk: I don;t understand it either, but I pray you find peace soon.