Are pets a bad idea for newlyweds?

wiggsaj

Hey yall!

FI and I are engaged and getting married in July. After my best friend's mother passed away, FI and I offered to take up her dog "Odie" because if no one did, he would go to a shelter, which is the last thing my friend's late mother would have wanted. Odie is a sweet little dog (like 3 lbs little) and he is very well behaved. Right now he is staying with my sister until FI and I get our own place together, because neither of us can have dogs where we live. When we move in together, he will be moving in with us!! We're totally excited about him.

Here's the predicament. . .

We are going to have a really tight budget for our first year of marriage. Now, Odie is small and does not eat much, so the cost of food is really insignificant. The pet rent is only $30 a month where we will be staying, which is not a problem for us. He's young and healthy and has all of his shots, so we wont need to take him into the vet other than if he gets sick or gets hurt, which we have money saved up for. What other added expenses are there? Everyone keeps telling me that dogs are horribly expensive, and given FI and I's budget, it was not wise of us to take up Odie. That's really concerning.

Another thing is, obviously dogs are a big responsibility. Is that going to get in the way of our new marriage? I guess what I'm trying to ask is, do pets get in the way of couples getting used to the married life or do they strengthen the experience?

We've never had a dog before so we have no idea lol. The main reason I'm so concerned is because we absolutely CAN NOT get rid of him, no matter what burden he brings us, because that would be a horrible thing to do to my friend. So what do you guys think?

doeydo

Dogs are one fo the most expensive pets to have.  A pet owner can expect to pay anywhere form $90-$500 on their pet per year.  However, if a pet gets ill or has other issues that need dealt with, that price can sky rocket.  What kind of dog is he?  Size?  What is his personality/activity level like?  What are you and your FI's personalities and activity levels like?  Will you be living in an apartment?  Are you ready for the long term commitment?  

wiggsaj

That's a lot of questions.

He is a Chihuahua Terrior mix and he weighs 3 pounds. He's very depressed right now, but normally he isn't terribly active and likes to be indoors (especially when it's cold out lol). We are more active than he is, which should be encouraging for him. We will be living in an apartment, he grew up in an apartment, so he will enjoy that. And the commitment is not a problem as long as he is not going to be horribly expensive, or damage my marriage.

Caz1221

As PP said, the annual cost of owning a dog can vary a lot. Assuming he doesn't have any health issues that require additional vet trips, meds, surgeries, etc., you will at a minimum be paying for his food (a 26 lb bag of Wellness Core, which is one of the pricier brands, costs about $50-$60 and lasts us about 6 months - my pug weighs 18-20 lbs and eats 1 cup of food per day), his annual vet visit for physical exam and any vaccines that are due, and his flea/tick and heart worm preventatives. Depending on your work and travel situations, you may also need to pay for a dog walker and/or boarding when you're away. I assume he will come with basic supplies (leash, collar, bowls, bed/crate, toys, grooming tool), but if not, you'll need to buy those as well.

In terms of the impact of a dog on your relationship, I think it depends on the couple and the dog. DH and I got our first dog 2 months after we got married, and it worked out fine. I was in my last year of law school and so had plenty of time to care for the dog. Our dog has also been very easy from the beginning, so it didn't cause much stress. It did mean that we couldn't take spur of the moment trips and had to consider the dog in making travel plans, but I don't mind that.

You are a wonderful friend to take this pup into your home.

clarke10

As far as the dog affecting your relationship, I wouldn't worry about it. When FH and I got our dog last year, she brought so much life into our home. We love her and have enjoyed having her together. 

But dogs aren't cheap. He may be healthy right now, but that doesn't mean He will always be healthy. Unless you are financially prepared to deal with a health crisis, I would avoid a dog right now.

From what it sounds like though, you've already committed to taking the dog?

bpphoto785

When you're getting a new dog the first year is always the most expensive with getting all the supplies (collar, bed, toys, etc.) and any training. Since he's older and you've adopted him from someone you know, you might be avoiding these expenses. 

After that, monthly we budget for his food, treats, and a weekly hike he goes on to expend extra energy and socialize with other dogs. Yearly we budget his annual vet visit and one "emergency" visit. Even though our dog is young, happy and healthy, he seems to need an extra visit once a year. When we go away, if family can't watch him and we need to board him, we add that to our vacation budget. We're very lucky that the ILs love our dog! 

As far as your relationship, our dog has only brought H & I closer. My H also works different shifts, so I love having the dog around when H is not. I realize that a dog is not the same as a baby, but I think it has given us at least a preview of what type of parents we will be when that time comes. 

I hope this works out for you and that you enjoying sharing you life with this new pup! 

Erikan73

If the dog is an indoor dog and doesn't like the cold will he go outside to pee when the weather is bad? We have a mini dachshund that won't go outside in the cold or snow, so we had to pee pad train her, which adds an additional expense. You'll want to figure out treats. In regards to your time, they are like kids. Once you let them sleep in your bed, they will always want to sleep in your bed which will then come between you and your husband. If you take the dog try to train him to sleep in a crate at night if he doesn't already do so. Also keep in mind your schedules, do you have regular schedules that will allow you to take him outside to do his business & with living in an apartment, will you need to take him on daily walks to help burn off energy? With his size you can take him on errands with you easily. Another possible expense is when you go on your honeymoon or need to go away overnight or have a long day away planned, who will take care of your dog? Can you sister do it or will you need to pay for a pet sitter?

wiggsaj

Thank you for the advice you guys! I can't wait to post photos of Odie as soon as he's in our care

short+sassy

My DH and I adopted one cat and one dog together, though at different times and before we were married.  Being pet owners together has definitely added to our relationship.  We still ooh and aah together over the cute and sweet things they do.

We've had our dog for about two years.  She is a very active 22 lb. terrier mix.  Unlike what a lot of the other PPs are saying, I really haven't noticed an uptick in our expenses since we got her.  I've found the costs of owning her to be minimal.  However, a huge caveat with that is she has been very healthy.  Frequent trips to a vet can get very expensive, very fast.   

L3Birdies

I would not stress out. Yes, a dog adds extra expenses, but if you plan for those, you will be fine. My husband and I have only been married short of 6 months and we have two large breed dogs and a senior-aged cat. Our monthly expenses for all three of them runs around $300. That includes one vet visit for the puppy. With such a small dog I really do not think you will spend more than $100 a month, if that. Just stick to the basics. Don't buy a bunch of toys and buy the biggest bag of food available as it will be the best deal. As far as time goes, I don't know if either of you will be staying at home or if both of you work, but if you are both working you can just have a nice size kennel (home) for the dog to stay in while you are gone if you are worried about the dog tearing anything up or anything. Hope this is helpful!

chrisnjay05212010

My DH and I have been married 4 years this May. We got a dog two years ago, both of us grew up with dogs but didnt get one initially because we weren't sure of work schedules.  We wound up getting a cat first and then i really started to miss having a dog.  If anything, i swear i credit the dog on strengthening our relationship.  We love him like a child, we don't plan on having kids.

If you and your FI are both committed to owning a dog and making him a part of the family, i dont see it being an issue.  He is a small dog so food/toy wise that will help with costs. And i agree that the first year of a puppy is the most expensive between vet visits, food, crates, toys etc.

wiggsaj

Erikan73 said:

If the dog is an indoor dog and doesn't like the cold will he go outside to pee when the weather is bad? He will as long as he does not need to walk in the snow haha. We have sweaters for him that help in the bad weather. We have a mini dachshund that won't go outside in the cold or snow, so we had to pee pad train her, which adds an additional expense. You'll want to figure out treats. In regards to your time, they are like kids. Once you let them sleep in your bed, they will always want to sleep in your bed which will then come between you and your husband. If you take the dog try to train him to sleep in a crate at night if he doesn't already do so. Also keep in mind your schedules, do you have regular schedules that will allow you to take him outside to do his business & with living in an apartment, will you need to take him on daily walks to help burn off energy? Yes. The game plan is, once in the morning before work, once when I get home and once before bed. Is that about right? With his size you can take him on errands with you easily. Another possible expense is when you go on your honeymoon or need to go away overnight or have a long day away planned, who will take care of your dog? Can you sister do it or will you need to pay for a pet sitter? Either my sister, my mom or my friend will be able to take care of him for free when ever we need. They all love him and would look forward to it.

Lilnaz11

It is helping our marriage!! We got our puppy about 4 months into our marriage. I DID NOT want to get a dog! I was against it, but my hubby wanted one really bad, so I caved......and let me tell you, I'm glad I did. I love our puppy so much now and can't imagine life without him and we've only had him for 3 months. As for how it will affect your marriage- I do agree with the others, that it depends in the people, but I can tell you that it has really helped my husband and I bond even more in our first year. We walk him together every night, and that gives us time away from the distractions of life and phones, laptops, TVs.....and we just talk and walk. Also, since this is my first dog, we spend a lot of time learning together....looking at training videos online, researching dog toys, etc. since we just moved to this neighborhood, having the dog has really helped us meet so many neighbors, since we're out walking every night. It has helped our communication skills, as we have to coordinate walking, letting him out to pee, feeding, etc. I just think the dog has helped us grow closer. It's just one more thing you and hubby will love together and have in common. The only downside I would say is the cost....they really are expensive, so I would say don't bite off more than you can chew. Maybe have a little budget set aside for the dog's needs? Those are my two cents!

doeydo

Um, I would walk my dog rain or shine, snow or no snow.  I think it is irresponsible and kind of cruel to not plan on walking him when it is snowing...

Sillygirl45

doeydo said:

Um, I would walk my dog rain or shine, snow or no snow.  I think it is irresponsible and kind of cruel to not plan on walking him when it is snowing...

While I hate to agree with @wiggsaj...I think she meant the dog doesn't like to walk on snow. Many small dogs don't. They aren't like labs where they have to be walked often.

My dogs are out with me when it's nice out, but they just go out to potty when it isn't. I have Boston's and our house and yard are big enough that they have plenty of room to play and exercise without having to walk them.

@doeydo, I do get what you're saying though and if it weren't a three pound dog I would totally agree.

beetee123

I have honestly found our cats to be way more expensive than our dog is. Growing up our dogs were rarely sick, so their only vet fees were for annual exams/vaccinations which end up being under $100 per dog. If you plan on taking your dog out to socialize with other dogs I would bank on him picking up some kind of illness and requiring a vet visit here or there. The only times our dogs ever got sick when they were younger was when we brought a new dog home. It happens, and it's not really the end of the world. We have most of the supplies necessary (bowls, leash, etc.), so we basically pay for just food. My dog is 14 now, so he has trouble chewing dry food. He has to eat canned food which is a bit more expensive. How old is Odie? At 14, our dogs have definitely been to the vet more in the past 2-3 years for arthritis issues and the like.

formerlyGDaisy09

doeydo said:

Um, I would walk my dog rain or shine, snow or no snow.  I think it is irresponsible and kind of cruel to not plan on walking him when it is snowing...

I would disagree with this. and I have an athletic dog. there are certain weather conditions that are just not fair to force a dog to go out in. Our dog is very sensitive to things on her feet, so when the town puts down anti-freeze and salt in the winter if our dog won't tolerate boots on her feet we have to find alternatives to walking (we play games in the house).  also once temperaturs get lower it's really too cold for a lot of dogs to be out. our rule is wind chill below freezing the jacket goes on the dog, below 15 and we don't go. 

Bubblegum5586

I think everyone has given really great advice already but I just want to say it sounds like you have really thought this through and are smart for asking more questions.

It seems like everyone I know is posting pictures of their new dogs on FB and then months later having to find a new home because "they can't have them in their apartment" "can't afford them anymore" "not good with their kids" etc etc etc. It seems like no one realizes what a huge commitment it is, until they are in too deep and now need to re-home the dog.

As far your marriage- dogs (or cats too) tend to become "fur babies" to couples. You sound like a caring person already and I would bet you will love this dog and will begin to feel like a little family (maybe even send out xmas cards with his picture lol!)

hnicolete

If you are planning to have children in the future this seems like a great idea. Dogs are not THAT expensive. Treat your dog well, take care of it responsibly and it should work out fine. Plus having a dog brings nothing but love into a home (my opinion). 

stokesm21

If only I knew then what I know now!  It really depends and is a pretty personal decision.  I have cats. I know, shame on me for talking about cats on a dog post.  How much do you have saved for said, "sickness" or "injury?"  Because I sure wasn't prepared for the $2300 it cost to fix my cat last year.  Some people are reading my post, gasping, questioning how I could possibly spend THAT much money on a cat!  Most people would have chosen to put the cat down.  But I am not most people and I firmly believe that when you get a pet you make a commitment to them. Emotionally AND financially.  If you simply cannot afford to pay a bill like that then you shouldn't own a pet.  There is a reason why we call them fur-babies (or in my case I call mine "pre-babies.") My little Sylvester is fine now.  I forked out the money because the treatment would fix him, and it did, kind of.  There is an 80% chance that what happened to him could happen again but what I learned was that his illness was mainly caused by the food he was eating.  So I did more research than anyone would want to know about and switched my cats (I have 3) to a completely raw diet. Now, it costs me $140/mth to raw feed them.  Yeah sure, I could go back to that $56 bag of cat food but the chances of me forking out another $2300 for a vet bill would be pretty high.  That and I simply just want the best for my cats, they deserve that.   

That said, my first piece of advice would be to get pet insurance.  This advice does not just come from my experience with my cats.  We had a golden retriever (RIP April 2014) who licked anti-freeze (the neighbour was trying to kill the animals ruining his lawn) and it cost my parents a whopping $3000 to hospitalize him.  He lived a normal life after that but his kidney's were never the same.  He also had a porcupine quill get stuck in him and right as my Dad and I were about to pull it out, it slipped under the skin.  Yet another expensive vet bill.  You may never need the insurance but when you do, it's there.

Consider travel and renting.  There were thousands of apartments my husband and I could not apply for because they specifically stated "no pets."  We also weren't the type who were ever willing to give up our cats because of this so it made looking for an apartment, hard.  Travel is now also insanely hard for us.  Before, we would fill up a huge bowl of kibble, another with water and go away for a weekend.  Now on the raw food, they need to be fed every morning and every night. You can't just leave a bowl of raw food lying around for them to eat.  With a dog, you can't always rely on other people to look after them when you are away.  And if you want to take them with you, you have to consider the extra cost of flying them somewhere, finding a pet friendly hotel, etc.   

Consider allergies.  Okay, so you might not be allergic to the dog now but you could turn out to be. It happened to me.  In 2010 I developed a whole host of environmental allergies and guess what I was allergic to the most?  My cats.  I never had allergies before and had my cats for 6 years at this point.  They are not severe but are controlled with prescription meds for when I have a reaction. (However let me tell you, spring is a horrible effing time for me!) 

Consider your future children.  Your children could have or could develop allergies to your pet. (However I think this is only likely if you or your DH suffer from them too)  Also, will you have time for said pet when you have kids?  It's unfortunate but my sister says it is hell taking care of 2 dogs while having a toddler running around (or having to take care of a newborn)  Any time I go to her house her pets are starved for attention and not only that, are neglected in some ways. (I don't even want to get into it.  It's sad and I certainly do not agree with it at all. Please don't get me wrong, they have lots of food and water, are let outside on a regular basis, are not abused etc but rather have been a bit "forgotten about" otherwise.) 

There are a LOT of things to consider.  A lot of people don't consider all the circumstances.  Hell I know we didn't but our little buggers have survived!  :P Remember, pets don't just need food and water.  They need adequate space to run around, annual check-up's, shots, neutering or spaying (if they are pups or kittens), emergency care in case something happens, constant stimulation and attention. They are a lot of work. Just write down the Pro's and Con's, think about the "what if's" and go from there.  (Edited because I forgot this last paragraph)    

     

KitW86

I agree- pets can definitely strengthen relationships. When we got married, I was already a 'mom' to one dog and a cat. My DH had never had a puppy before, so a few months before our first anniversary, we got a lab puppy. It was an interesting experience for him, that's for sure! I find it sweet to watch how much he loves that dog, though, even though I ended up doing all her training. ;-) (I am a very experienced pet owner and some what of a control freak- so it was just easier for him to hand over the reigns.) Anyway- co-parenting a pet definitely strengthens a relationship and can be great 'practice' or 'preview' if you plan on having human babies some day. Just- don't forget about the furbabies when that happens! GL!