What can I do? (sad; some pr/br stuff mentioned)

Apollo11235

My cousin's husband died suddenly yesterday. She lives in Seattle, and we live in Indiana, so I can't really be there or do much to help with funeral preparations, housework/cooing, childcare (she has a three-year-old and is 6 months pregnant), or any of the things I would want to do if we lived nearby. I left a message with her sister to send our condolences and asking if there was anything we could do, or if she was requesting donations in his name to a specific charity or anything. 

I know that it tends to be easier for people to accept a specific type of help than "let me know if there's anything I can do," so I really wish there was something I could think of to offer in particular. Any thoughts, ladies?

sgautschi

That is so horrible. I'm so sorry for your friend.

If it were me I'd probably send at least a card, maybe a care package with chocolate or something else she likes? It's hard because nothing can bring him back but it may be nice for her to just know you care and are there for her.

Bride2Be22512

Wow, that's a tough one. I am so sorry for your family's loss. Being that she is so far away, maybe gift card for restaurant somewhere? So she doesn't have to worry about cooking and it gets everyone out of the house...?? Could you possibly visit her at some point? I couldn't even imagine. My condolences again.

Apollo11235

sgautschi said:

That is so horrible. I'm so sorry for your friend. If it were me I'd probably send at least a card, maybe a care package with chocolate or something else she likes? It's hard because nothing can bring him back but it may be nice for her to just know you care and are there for her.

Thanks, @sgautschi! Sorry, I forgot to mention that I am planning to send a card. A care package is a great idea, too! I'll have to see if I can figure out what she would like in it (we're really not that close, mostly as a result of geography and age difference).

abt8113

I would say the same thing as sgautschi. That is terrible. Prayers for your friend and her family.

sgautschi

I would also send some small toy for her 3 year old and maybe something small for the baby. Otherwise maybe just a gift card to target or some other local store?

I'm so sorry again.

FutureMrsWright2012

I don't really have any advice, but I am so sorry for your family's and especially your cousin's loss.

poppies717

I'm so sorry. I agree that a care package with gift cards would be nice. 

carcrashheart

Can you gather up local friends/family and set up a meal train? Have someone scheduled to take them dinner every night so that she doesn't have to cook or think about leaving the house to get food.

aggiebug

Oh wow I am so sorry your your cousin and family.

Another idea maybe a maid service for a few months?

I know when we had deaths in the family we were always so overwhelmed with food and usually the same things that we didn't want anymore. We even gave some away we had so much.

nfp147

I'm sorry for your family's loss.  

I like the maid service idea. Or, a gift card to her local grocery store might be nice. 

LuckyAngel07

Oh wow. I'm so sorry for your cousin's/family's loss. How tragic! I agree with the other ladies' suggestions. A care package/gift cards/maid service. Is she a SAHM? She may need to look into daycare if she has to find a job; if she already works, putting a second child into daycare may be harder with one income (I'm sure her husband had life insurance, but you never know how far that might go). If you can get some information on the situation, setting up some sort of short-term fund for whatever they need might be appreciated. That way, she can get exactly what's needed without getting too much of one thing and lacking somewhere else.

MRads

I'm so sorry for your cousins loss.

ILoveRedVino

I like the maid service idea, but if I were to lose my husband, I'd probably appreciate some house stuff more.  LIke yard service.  Someone to mow the lawn or do the handyman stuff that I don't know how to do.

I think a Pizza Hut gift card or similar (delivery) is nice too.  I doubt she'll be loading up the kids to go out to dinner any time soon.

When we lost our baby, we received gift cards to a place called Delivered Dish -- it is a company that partners with a bunch of local restaurants to deliver the food to homes, hospitals, etc. 

If they're getting enough "stuff," then I would plant a tree in his honor and send her a picture.

 

Apollo11235

Thanks so much for all your ideas and condolences, ladies! Sorry I was MIA yesterday, but it was great to come back to some thoughtful responses this morning.