Natural Family Planning

lpavlas

So for those of you that don't know what NFP is, it stands for Natural Family Planning and it is an approved method for Catholics to prevent pregnancy (Catholics don't believe in contraceptives). It also helps couples better conceive by keeping track of a woman's cycle. So when you want to get pregnant you have sex when you are fertile and when you don't you just avoid sex during these fertile days. 

So my husband and I are catholic, and he just got back from an ACTS retreat. Before we got married we had to attend a couples retreat (which was actually very  helpful) and they discussed NFP there. This was also the first time we have heard about it. My husband and I decided to wait until we got married to have sex for both religious and emotional reasons. We felt it made us stronger as a couple. 

Anyways, he just got back from an ACTS retreat and is empowered by his renewed relationship with god, and I am so proud of him for that, but we are having one disagreement. He wants to stick to the NFP method. I'm not very fond of this idea because I know I am not ready to have kids and don't want kids at this moment. I would just feel terrible asking him to do something he doesn't really like or believe in. 

Does anyone else use NFP? How has it worked for you? 

BlueBirdMB

I'm not Catholic and I've never used NFP, but I live in a heavily populated Catholic area.  Obviously birth control isn't something that you talk about with everyone, but I know a few people who've discussed their experiences.  For those people, even after trying many times and taking class after class, it didn't work.  After the 3rd or 4th child, they started using alternate forms on BC.

I think in theory, it works.  It should work, but not everyone is very regular with their cycles and some people have a difficult time predicting.  

However, if you really believe that BC is wrong, then I understand why you would use NFP.  

Regardless of whether you believe in planned parenthood, here is some reliable info:  http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control/birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm 

doeydo

For some reason, PP's link didn't work for me but I tihnk this is what he or she was trying to post:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control/birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm  
Another helpful website: http://bedsider.org/methods/fertility_awareness#details_tab

I think you two need to talk about it and figure out what is right for you.  

DawnLilly

We use NFP and have since 2009. I chart by basal body temp, cervical position, and cervical mucus. It takes a lot of work. Every single day, every single month. It does just become routine though. DH also pulls out every time.

In 2011 when we decided to get pregnant it only took one cycle and has worked for the two years since my son has been born as well.

We chose NFP because I don't like the effects of hormonal birth control, or the possible effects after years of use.

Bottom line. Yes, it works for us. But, you will be the one doing all the work. While I think you both need to agree on whatever method you choose, he needs to understand that. And, if you aren't ready then your opinion carries more weight because it is you that will be carrying a baby and it's crucial to be ready for your health and the baby's. Both, mental and physical health. Could you possibly compromise and use NFP and a secondary like condoms or spermicide? Maybe at least for the first 4 months until you have gotten a good history on your cycle and gotten used to charting?

artbyallie

I am confused. Are you saying you wish to use a barrier or hormonal BC? And you are Catholic as well? To be fair, I'm not Catholic, but I was under the impression that those were verboten. And granted, I'm going by my Monty Python education, here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUspLVStPbk

Tami87

We have used NFP to avoid conceiving since we got married in July 2012. I was nervous about it at first too, but began charting before I got married and felt confident by the time we got married. I use the sympto-thermal method. I also highly recommend reading Taking Charge of your fertility (http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Fertility-Anniversary-Edition/dp/0060881909). This talks about the science behind NFP or Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) from a non-religious perspective. Only real difference with FAM is that barrier methods are allowed during fertile periods while Catholics practicing NFP would abstain from sex when fertile.

It does take some effort to learn but now it is routine and easy for me (although I am blessed with pretty regular cycles). Also if you ever visit the knot, there is a Catholic Wedding board under the cultural wedding boards. Many of the regulars posters on that board also use NFP and a few are actually NFP instructors if you have more questions.

mommy510

We have used NFP successfully for several years. There are a few difficult times when I would recommend using condoms, spermicide, or pulling out. Such instances include when you first start NFP especially if you are going off of hormonal BC (made that mistake once), if your cycles are irregular and you lose track of what your body is doing, and after having a baby until you are regular again.
I used to be very cynical of NFP and say that it was the same as TTC, but hormonal BC was making me crazy. After switching pills a few times, I just said, "Forget it!" It was a great decision, but you need to find what works best for you. If this is really important to your husband, I would encourage you to give it a try.

lifeguard

People who use NFP after a year or two are called Mommy and Daddy.

DawnLilly

lifeguard said:

People who use NFP after a year or two are called Mommy and Daddy.

We had DS in June 2012 TTC we aren't pregnant right now because of TTA and won't be in the next week so...

DJCole42P3

I realize I may step into a hornets nest, on this topic as a man, but I would have an open and honest convo about your concerns. Regardless of what you and DH decide you'll be deciding together. Temping and charting are things that yes, you will be doing not him, but that doesn't mean he won't or can't be supportive. DW and I did not use this method to not get pregnant, but did while TTC. It's helpful to know the science and physiology behind it. And, yes, a lot depends on if cycles are regular. There is tons of info on thebump. With an app that helps chart basal temp. It is designed to give you the 5 day window for optimal conception, so you'll know your least fertile days as well. This will minimize the chance of conception not eliminate it so being ok with the "risk" should be discussed. DW and I discussed what supportive looked like for us and our particular situation early on which was very helpful to have a team strategy and be on the same page. Just wanting learn the process and how it all worked with the charts and dots and everything helped me feel connected and helped my wife not feel like it was all her responsibility.