Sex & Romance
dlynnb2006
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
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Re: deleted
Your other issue --- and the bigger issue:
You and your H have NO communication.
Married 21/2 years and togetehr much longer than that --- might I ask why you and he did not encroach this topic when it manifested????
Your sex drive isn't what it should be and you've gone on for all this time, minus doing something about it, WITH your H????
Communication is KEY. And is KEY in any relationship.
What I strongly suggest:
DO NOT conceive a child until you get the low sex drive issue resolved.
Have you had a full checkup from your doc --- thyroid checked and tested, hormones checked and tested?
I'm thinking Not A Thyroid Or Hormonal Issue, being that this problem's been going on for a very long time --- but get them checked, anyway.
My next question:
Do you masturbate?
If the answer is NO, start -- I will bet you you've never had an orgasm and you're not sexually in touch with your body.
You'll find out what touches turn you on and that's guaranteed to give you a sex drive. You'll be more enthusiasstic about having sex once you find out what makes you orgasm.
Second question:
Does your H go down on you?
If not, he needs to start immediately. A sure fire way to orgasm.
Third question:
What is your H like in bed?
Does he make sure you feel good? Does he vary what's offered in the way of positions, etc? (and on that note; is his hygiene whet it should be? that matters a lot, too: if he's not the cleanest guy in the world he needs to be)
Is he an in and out guy and is too routine when he has sex with you?
If he's not doing everything he can to make you happy and meet YOUR needs, you and he need to have a talk --- you need to have one anyway, about the entire topic of sex and how to get you to be more enthusiastic about sex.
You and your H should also take a trip to a local book store and check out couples-oriented sex manuals. Browse and pick one out together -- and if you're shy about it, order it online.
This weekend, without fail, you and your H sit down --- outside of the bedroom --- and you discuss this topic in depth. The 2 of you need to solve the problem together.
It is essential you do not bring a child into a problematic marraige. That sex is rare and you said you do not seem to be in the mood much = a problematic marriage.
Bringing a kiddo into this marriage right now as things are will magnify the problem infinitely. If you're not having much sex now, you will have even LESS sex after a baby comes into the picture, just as a matter of fact; kiddoes take up a lot of attention.
I am willing to bet your problem stems from never masturbating and thus, never having an orgasm. Again, discuss this with your H. GL.
Look into a barrier method (condom, diaphragm, nfp) that involves no hormones.
As I said, you and your H need to discuss the problem and work on it together. A doc's checkup would help but I don't think it is a medical issue.
Get to working on the problem and solve it before you bring a kiddo into the picture.
The communication level that you have with your H does not exist. Better start making it happen. Sex, like money and religion, are the 3 big issues a couple will argue over, and often vehemently.
OP: Leave the post as is. Somebody else may wish to contribute.