Well Ain't This a Bunch of BS

spalko

Tim is in a wedding this fall and today he was talking with the groom who told Tim that he needs to make a 3 hour trip north so they can all get on the same page for the "stag party". In my mind, a stag party is a bachelor party but oh no, this stag party is a party for both the bride and groom that the groomsmen have to put on so the couple can EARN MONEY FOR THE WEDDING!!! Let me say that again just in case you didn't get that. The groomsmen need to host and SELL TICKETS to a party so the couple can earn money to pay for their wedding! I can't even put together my thoughts for how absolutely STUPID this whole thing is! Screw the whole etiquette thing, this is beyond etiquette, this is f*cking DUMB! Tim tried telling the groom that he didnt understand this whole thing at all and that it is actually quite stupid but the groom doesn't understand a damn thing because his fiance has the leash around his balls so damn tight! I just had to share this whole craziness with you ladies!

mancila60

I would never go to a party like that where I had to buy a ticket. Plus my issue here is who is buying these tickets? Strangers? You can't expect GM to know all family/friends. I agree this is beyond etiquette it's just stupid. I guess I too don't understand how this will work.

spalko

And I forgot to add that the GM are supposed to buy "prizes" which would then be raffled off at the party! I only wish I were making this stuff up.

kushie77

Oh.My.Word.  

I would quick come up with a "conflict" and avoid that hot mess like the plague.  If you can't afford what you are planning for your wedding, you need to revisit expectations and start downsizing.  To charge admission to a party is obsurd.  Who do they think they are the Kardashians?

court115

So I helped throw this kind of party once ... for a charity fundraiser! Not someone's wedding!

My mind ... is blown.

zamboni00

This is a 'thing' near us. They will have poker tables, black jack, etc. They aren't Co-ed, though.

People go, even people who aren't invited to the wedding/don't know the bride & groom.

I don't have a huge problem with them in general. The 'tickets' aren't usually too much, and I think around here that money is used to cover food & beverages. The raffle and/or 'casino' winnings are what would go towards the couple.

I almost see it as the guys version of a shower. I mean, the BMs all host, provide food & beverage, prizes for shower game winners, and people 'pay' (with gifts) to attend, all the proceeds (gifts) go to the couple.

My issue comes in when it's 'demanded' by the groom, just like a bride who demands a shower. If no one offers, you don't get one.

I would also side eye it if the couple had a jack & Jill shower, and a stag, or a shower and a Co-ed stag.

I'm not sure why, though, since I don't have an issue with people having more than one shower if offered.

adventureisoutthere

I've heard of them. Not in my region but a little further east. I thinks it's ridiculous! I couldn't wrap my head around it when I've heard of it and I certainly wouldn't participate in one.

mancila60

If I were your H I'd hit upthe dollar store for those "prizes"!

Melissa51212

what the what?!

mildlymailyn

Just wow... if we couldn't afford a wedding, we would have gone to the JOP or something. Maybe a weekender to Vegas. Jeez.

court115

mildlymailyn said:

Just wow... if we couldn't afford a wedding, we would have gone to the JOP or something. Maybe a weekender to Vegas. Jeez.

Forrrr real. We had a woman in here the other day complaining about having to pay her dad's nursing home bills - with his money - because she would rather use that money to pay for her daughter's wedding. Chick isn't even engaged yet. You don't have the money - you don't get the party!

mancila60

amcourt09 said:

Forrrr real. We had a woman in here the other day complaining about having to pay her dad's nursing home bills - with his money - because she would rather use that money to pay for her daughter's wedding. Chick isn't even engaged yet. You don't have the money - you don't get the party!

How selfish is that?!?! I mean H and I took MIL in and didn't even ise a dime of her money to take care of her, even though I wasn't working. It had nothing to do with saving the money we just didn't feel that she needed to pay our bills. We did however the month she died take a little bit to help because it was peak of summer and we were home 24/7 the electric bill was quite high that month. That money is to take care of her dad she should be ashamed!

bpphoto785

Yeah, I just went to a Jack & Jill with a raffle and the money went to the couple. TACKY! Weddings are not an opportunity to make money!! This is also the couple who's not inviting anyone to their ceremony, so maybe they should just write a book on what not to do.