Interesting Blog Post (LR and PG mentioned)

simsk3887

A friend of mine (the same one who posted that she was pg on FB at 4 weeks) just posted this.  Thought I don't agree with the views of my friend who posted it, I've read through the blog and the blogger's miscarriage account and agreed with many parts of it.  It brings some good points about the things many of us have unfortunately been through and I thought a few of you ladies may also be interested in reading it.  Please let me know if it bothers people and I'll remove the post, but I thought it was a good article to share.

http://www.scissortailsilk.com/2014/05/13/how-abortion-has-changed-the-discussion-of-miscarriage/

BeeLu

I don't think it's impossible to mourn a miscarriage while being pro-choice, as the author of the blog post seems to think. The difference is in the mother, and her hopes and dreams. Mourning a miscarriage is mourning the potential for life. I think this sort of blog post devalues the hopes and dreams of women who do elect to have abortions, and their decision to mourn or not mourn. Just my two cents.

FutureMrsWright2012

I agree with BeeLu here. I would also argue that I don't think that how the general public deals with the news of a couple devastated about losing their child has changed much since Roe v. Wade (in 1973) or even over the past 15 or so years that the Pro-Choice movement has grown.

 Would be interested to hear other ladies' thoughts though...

BruinsBabe33

I don't think that abortion is the reason that people aren't more public about their miscarriages as this lady is implying. I do think you can mourn a miscarriage and still be pro-choice. I think this is putting hostile feelings towards women who have chosen to have abortions. One person's choice does not affect another person's pregnancy. Just like one person's fertility does not take away another's.

We've had the debate on here about the medical terms used to describe miscarriage. (Most of you probably don't remember it or weren't here for it) I think what this woman is failing to understand is that the medical term for miscarriage doesn't dictate how society sees it or grieves a miscarriage. I can support my friend who chooses to have an abortion for whatever reason during the same time that I can mourn with my friend who lost her baby.

The only thing that can change how public people are about their loses, is people opening up about it if they feel comfortable doing so. Some people prefer to grieve in private and that is their choice.

simsk3887

You ladies have sparked a whole new side of this.  I read it rather naive of the total picture.  I read it more as breaking the silence.

I in no way meant to start a pro-life vs. pro-choice debate.  I feel that each woman should decide how she feels in the comfort of her own home and not have to defend which side of that spectrum she wants to be on. Please accept my apologies if I've opened a wound for anyone.  That is exactly opposite of what I wanted to do from this.

I more saw it as women who have suffered loss (and who are comfortable with it) coming together and breaking the silence. 

lindsayandjamie

I would agree that miscarriage has always been a silent pain (my grandmother lost 3 and my mom and I only knew after my own). The pro choice movement is not the culprit. I will say that the term abortion is difficult to handle. When I had my d&c at 13w, I shared the waiting room with women waiting for elective abortions. And the hospital called my procedure a therapeutic abortion. That is difficult to swallow when all you want Ito do is yell out - I don't want this!!! With this said, at no point did I feel that these women should not be having an abortion. They had their reasons. I just wish I didn't have to sit in the waiting room trying to grieve while they sat next to me agonizing over their decision. It made it all the more difficult.

ILoveRedVino

I know women who've had an "abortion" and very much grieve their babies. I put abortion in quotes because in all of tier cases, it was not the choice they wanted to be making.

I'm pretty stinkin pro life, in general, but abortion isn't always the cruel, heartless thing that it seems to be defined as.

I hate the comparison in this case, because in so many situations, they really aren't that different.

tdmd09

I agree with the other posters that I don't think the abortion debate has anything to do with how people grieve or perceive miscarriages. I don't know why people don't talk about miscarriage in general, but it's definitely not a new trend. I think it has more to do with not wanting to discuss things that make others uncomfortable, or knowing that people who haven't been there don't understand the depth of the grief and may minimize and hurt your feelings if you bring it up.

Like Bruins said, the medical terminology for a miscarriage is an abortion, either threatened (if it hasn't happened yet), or spontaneous (baby passes on its own) or missed (baby dies but does not pass). I HATE that I have, in my medical chart a history of "recurrent abortion" or, in one chart I saw, "habitual abortion" (like I habitually knit or garden), but it's a medical term that does not have any bearing on my intent or my feelings regarding my pregnancy.

There are efforts to break the silence, like the faces of loss website and campaign, and people make an effort to bring attention to it in October (awareness month). But I don't feel like it has anything to do with Roe v Wade aside from the medical terminology.