Friend Question

GilliC

Can you pleeeease come up with something new? This board is so slow, and this one's all played out.

Your narcissistic drama is awesome, but we need variety!

KitW86

Personally, I feel if you really didn't mean those remarks in a negative way, your follow up should have been a call instead of replying via e-mail. So often, our statements can be perceived differently than what was meant in e-mails/text messages. Calling your friend to follow up and explain probably would have helped this situation.

ClaryPax

Jae179 said:

I'm not sure if this makes any difference but to put some more context into it- I shared some extremely exciting, life changing news with her and although she did email me congratulations and offered advice if I ever need it- all she did was mail me a congratulations card and leave it at that and I guess I felt like I didn't need to hear her problems, if that makes any sense...because I want to enjoy this time. I don't know if that makes any difference at all. But I still hadn't meant anything terrible by it.

That's a crappy thing to say.   My life is going good so don't tell me you were sick.  WTF? 

ClaryPax

Jae179 said:

I just wanted to add that I am having a hard time reconciling her lack of actions...yes she sent me a card both when I bought a house and announced my first pregnancy but she hasn't visited or asked me much about the pregnancy other than saying if I had any questions she'd be happy to answer them. I did say I'm here to listen to you when she told me she had been ill and I didn't mention how drama was so attracted to her until her second email about her family member issues. I know she is busy and is in school and has kids and I didn't but I visited her when she was pregnant and after the baby was born and asked about her and asked to hang out and she didn't do the same. She did send a baby gift. Am I just expecting too much?

It hurts when a friend doesn't visit.  Have you invited her out?  Anyway, its still not nice to say what you did even if it was because you were hurt. 

Jae179

ClaryPax said:

Jae179 said:

I'm not sure if this makes any difference but to put some more context into it- I shared some extremely exciting, life changing news with her and although she did email me congratulations and offered advice if I ever need it- all she did was mail me a congratulations card and leave it at that and I guess I felt like I didn't need to hear her problems, if that makes any sense...because I want to enjoy this time. I don't know if that makes any difference at all. But I still hadn't meant anything terrible by it.

That's a crappy thing to say.   My life is going good so don't tell me you were sick.  WTF? 

I didn't actually say that to her

Jae179

ClaryPax said:

Jae179 said:

I just wanted to add that I am having a hard time reconciling her lack of actions...yes she sent me a card both when I bought a house and announced my first pregnancy but she hasn't visited or asked me much about the pregnancy other than saying if I had any questions she'd be happy to answer them. I did say I'm here to listen to you when she told me she had been ill and I didn't mention how drama was so attracted to her until her second email about her family member issues. I know she is busy and is in school and has kids and I didn't but I visited her when she was pregnant and after the baby was born and asked about her and asked to hang out and she didn't do the same. She did send a baby gift. Am I just expecting too much?

It hurts when a friend doesn't visit.  Have you invited her out?  Anyway, its still not nice to say what you did even if it was because you were hurt. 

Yes I have invited her out many times. She said she was always busy or sick

GilliC

Jae179 said:

ClaryPax said:

Jae179 said:

I just wanted to add that I am having a hard time reconciling her lack of actions...yes she sent me a card both when I bought a house and announced my first pregnancy but she hasn't visited or asked me much about the pregnancy other than saying if I had any questions she'd be happy to answer them. I did say I'm here to listen to you when she told me she had been ill and I didn't mention how drama was so attracted to her until her second email about her family member issues. I know she is busy and is in school and has kids and I didn't but I visited her when she was pregnant and after the baby was born and asked about her and asked to hang out and she didn't do the same. She did send a baby gift. Am I just expecting too much?

It hurts when a friend doesn't visit.  Have you invited her out?  Anyway, its still not nice to say what you did even if it was because you were hurt. 

Yes I have invited her out many times. She said she was always busy or sick

Presumably she knows you.

So by "busy" or "sick" she meant:

ClaryPax

Jae179 said:

ClaryPax said:

Jae179 said:

I'm not sure if this makes any difference but to put some more context into it- I shared some extremely exciting, life changing news with her and although she did email me congratulations and offered advice if I ever need it- all she did was mail me a congratulations card and leave it at that and I guess I felt like I didn't need to hear her problems, if that makes any sense...because I want to enjoy this time. I don't know if that makes any difference at all. But I still hadn't meant anything terrible by it.

That's a crappy thing to say.   My life is going good so don't tell me you were sick.  WTF? 

I didn't actually say that to her

It came across from your previous post that this is what you implied. 

Ilumine

Jae179 said:

ClaryPax said:

Jae179 said:

I'm not sure if this makes any difference but to put some more context into it- I shared some extremely exciting, life changing news with her and although she did email me congratulations and offered advice if I ever need it- all she did was mail me a congratulations card and leave it at that and I guess I felt like I didn't need to hear her problems, if that makes any sense...because I want to enjoy this time. I don't know if that makes any difference at all. But I still hadn't meant anything terrible by it.

That's a crappy thing to say.   My life is going good so don't tell me you were sick.  WTF? 

I didn't actually say that to her

Just because you do not literally say something doesn't mean that your actions do not imply it. 

And given the fact that you came here to BITCH about the fact that your friend's overwhelming life took precedent to your good news, I am sure as I am a natural brunette that you very clearly inferred it with the little conversations you did have or with the actions you did not do. 

BTW - what did you do for her during HER times of need again?  Because I know that when my friends are sick or having family problems I don't just throw out the obligatory "let me know if I can help" but I actually DO things...

Jae179

Ilumine said:

Jae179 said:

ClaryPax said:

Jae179 said:

I'm not sure if this makes any difference but to put some more context into it- I shared some extremely exciting, life changing news with her and although she did email me congratulations and offered advice if I ever need it- all she did was mail me a congratulations card and leave it at that and I guess I felt like I didn't need to hear her problems, if that makes any sense...because I want to enjoy this time. I don't know if that makes any difference at all. But I still hadn't meant anything terrible by it.

That's a crappy thing to say.   My life is going good so don't tell me you were sick.  WTF? 

I didn't actually say that to her

Just because you do not literally say something doesn't mean that your actions do not imply it. 

And given the fact that you came here to BITCH about the fact that your friend's overwhelming life took precedent to your good news, I am sure as I am a natural brunette that you very clearly inferred it with the little conversations you did have or with the actions you did not do. 

BTW - what did you do for her during HER times of need again?  Because I know that when my friends are sick or having family problems I don't just throw out the obligatory "let me know if I can help" but I actually DO things...

Thanks- that's a good idea. What are some things I could do?

Jae179

besides asking to get together?

Ilumine

Jae179 said:

besides asking to get together?

FFS - how about YOU do the things YOU bitched that SHE did not do for YOU?  

Or are you really that dense?

or are you really that bored at home that you need to string this post along.  

Either way, I am out.