"Pregnancy Rumors" (Vent)

Bubblegum5586

What a fantastic 4th of July weekend we had with H's family (despite the actual 4th getting rained out!) we go to his aunts cookout every year and the following day is a wiffle ball tourney of 4 teams between 2 houses/yards (all H's family - brothers, cousins, uncles etc) It is so much fun as it turns into a 2 day party with the same people!

As one of the few family members that live out of town (just over an hour away) this is our time to catch up with all of H's family. We purchased our first home just over a week ago and his family was all so excited to hear about it and congratulate us. It has been 9 1/2 months since our wedding and we have had a few people question us when/ if we are pregnant which I tend to find kind of annoying and none of their business, but most were asked nicely so it wasn't a big deal.

Then when I go to walk over to my SIL (H's brother's wife) and a family cousin, they start making remarks about me being pregnant and how have I been there for a few hours and haven't had a drink yet (they were watching me?) I explained it was hot and as I tend to pass out easily in heat I was drinking water, plus I knew it would be a late night and was waiting to start drinking. I got the "sure sure" comments from them. And they just kept giving me a hard time. I was so frustrated because I am not really a big drinker so it isn't weird for me not to be drinking, and I was wearing just a bikini walking around clearly not showing at all, so if I was it would be so early that it's so rude to try and force that information out of someone! I grabbed a beer at that point just so they would leave me alone.

But it didn't really stop then either. My SIL just kept telling other people how they thought I was and how there were rumors.... but then I had a beer.... but maybe I am just irresponsible..... WTF?

My SIL and BIL had a honeymoon baby, and that is what they wanted so good for them, but for her to put all this unwanted pressure and attention on me is so annoying. And it makes me feel like I have to watch my behavior for the next however many years and more importantly... when I do become pregnant. I wont want to share that information for the first 12 weeks at least but will she uncomfortably pressure that information out of me? And what if I can't have children... who knows...

I know after you get married you start to get these questions, but this just seemed over the top to me. Anyone else in this situation? Any suggestions?

chrisnjay05212010

While it is incredibly annoying i don't think its out of the norm. People are crazy, and especially family feels they have the right to pry into your personal life. Its happened to me, its happened to friends of mine.

For my DH & I, we don't plan on having kids at all. So i just politely say oh, we aren't interested in having kids. Typically that leads to oh really, well you are young I'm sure you'll change your mind.  So i just respond with maybe and leave it at that.  It usually drops the conversation. They'll get the picture some day.  With my mom it had gotten to the point that I had to be nasty to her because she wouldn't drop the topic, she refuses to believe that her daughter doesn't want kids and thinks there is something wrong with me. 

Did you tell your DH about it? What did he say?  I would just respond with, we plan on waiting alittle while before kids and there is no need to carry the conversation forward. You can still be polite while saying please butt out, LOL

myhart15

I have the same type of catty/chatty in-laws and have been dealing with for the past 3 years I've been married!  Difference is that I do drink so when I don't have one in my hand, pregnancy is the first conclusion that they jump to. :-(  I've often thought about the scenario of when I go become pregnant, but not telling anyone until after 12 weeks.  I've discussed this with DH many times as well.  My plan - when they ask why I'm not drinking, I'll simply say I have a sinus infection and am taking antibiotics, so I can't drink.  In my head, this is a good idea.  Worst case, I'll pass drinks off to DH (even though he's not a big drinker), or I'll mix the drinks myself (at the big family parties) and make the virgin versions for myself.  I don't know if this will be enough to cover, but if they are drinking, their judgement will be impaired...LoL!

BTW....Kudos to you!  Work it in a bikini! LoL

Bubblegum5586

thanks for the advice ladies!

H thought it was annoying but no one really asked him so it wasn't that big of a deal for him. I have been with H for over 8 years and have been part of the family for a long time. At these family parties we tend not to spend a lot of time together so we can enjoy as much time with his family, so it left me on my own to be confronted.

I like the excuses,  yet find it annoying I would have to deal with it. But I guess that's the way it goes!