I'm scared. I'm going for the first time to see a therapist....

LuckyAngel07

Catching up after the fact, but...

I'm really glad you kept your appt and that it went well for you. That's a huge first step. Definitely make sure you keep going so you can get yourself back to feeling the way you want to/used to.

It makes me angry for you that your DH reacted that way, expecting some problem with you to be highlighted (after just one session, I might add!). Marriage is a 2-way street, and I really hope he comes to realize that he needs to do the work with you. Sometimes it takes a major eye-opener/dose of reality before they'll realize just how they're acting and how it's affecting you. I hope it doesn't come to that, because it puts everyone in a pretty desperate situation. Hopefully a little reminder that he did agree previously to seeing a counselor with you will get him on the same page with you and at least get him to one session. A lot of the time, just hearing it from an outside person can go a long way.

nfp147

I'm really sorry your H is reacting this way.  Has he been worse since your loss?  Men sometimes don't deal with sadness well; maybe it's a reaction to that?  

Whatever it is, I really hope you are able to communicate and come to a better place in your marriage. 

OohSparkly13

<<Hugs>> to you! I hope everything ends up working out and your H sees that this is something you both need to be involved in.

cloudymeatballs12

Thanks ladies. He really seems to be unable to take any blame.  All day yesterday he is pointing his fingers. Sorry H, but its a team process. We are both to blame for many things.  I know what I need to do, he just makes it difficult for me.  And Lucky, ya I really think he needs to hear it from someone outside.  And like you guys said, I think he just doesn't want to admit that he needs work as well. 

And you know what, he has been much much worse since our loss in January.  This is when these problems started seeming much bigger.  I don't know if it is me expecting more from him, or him freaking out a little bit.  He has gotten so selfish since it seems.  I mean, he and I have always had communication problems, but he has gotten so mean since January.  Has me feeling that kids aren't a good idea for us or something.  I don't think I deserve to be talked down to.  I mean, I am his wife.  I am, hopefully going to be the mother of his children.  He would never disrespect anyone else, so why is it okay to be that way with a wife? 

I really hope we can work thru this girls.  I love him so much, but he can be so mean, but only with me.   Thanks again for listening to my rants...  xo

LuckyAngel07

Those are definitely all things you guys need to talk to each other about and express your feelings. That's not easy to do, since a lot of us get defensive about our actions. I really hope going to talk to someone together gives you both a comfortable place to speak your minds and remain (somewhat) calm.

Apollo11235

I'm glad it went well for you, but I'm so sorry YH isn't on board, cloudy. I hope he goes with you to your next appointment, or that you can make some progress on your own until he does agree to go.

pb&fluff

I'm sorry your H is giving you so much trouble. I'm glad you went for yourself, but I hope he gets on board soon.