question about bridal shower invite/etiquette

egpitt22

I'm hosting a bridal shower for my SIL; the shower is in Brian's hometown in Eastern PA, his sister and her fiancee live in Colorado.  Needless to say, she is flying in for the shower and is really hoping that people will ship the gifts directly to her because she will have no way to bring them back with her.  Is there any polite way to indicate this on like an insert in the shower invite?  Or is it too rude to put on there and we will just have to hope that everyone knows she's flying?

lala5507

I really understand your sil not wanting to deal with the hassle of shipping all that stuff back.  But, I think some people (especially older folk)  just really want to see her open the gift.  Maybe there is a way to word it more like an suggestion, not an demand?  "If you would like to lighted SIL's carry on load, please mail your gift to..."

egpitt22

lala5507 said:

I really understand your sil not wanting to deal with the hassle of shipping all that stuff back.  But, I think some people (especially older folk)  just really want to see her open the gift.  Maybe there is a way to word it more like an suggestion, not an demand?  "If you would like to lighted SIL's carry on load, please mail your gift to..."

I thought of that, the whole being disappointed in the lack of actual opening there...I was thinking of maybe somehow incorporating that on the insert if I go that route, of having people print out a picture or something of the gift??  That way, the gift is still shared or we can at least say what it is.  I don't know.  this is tough, i've never been in this situation!

SPonchette

Maybe you skip adding anything to the invite and then suggest shipping any gifts when they call to RSVP?

MaryM

I think there is no tactfull way to do it. My friend flew in from FL and had to have her gifts shipped herself. It is hard to ask people - who are already coming to a party which sole purpose is to get gifts- for much more. You may turn off some people in requesting gifts being shipped.

kris356

Yeah, I think you can add it to the insert but she is probably going to have to suck it up and pay to have things shipped, especially if it is an older crowd. She could try adding it as a note to her registry as well.

When my sister had her showers (wedding and baby), no one shipped their gifts and she was living in Charlotte and everyone knew that. She did fly up, they just had to drive up another time to get the gifts. 

JNK71083

I went to one recently where it was actually a gift card shower for the same reason you are describing

Bonster214

This sounds like a good answer - http://theshowerdiva.com/ask/bride/2007-10-18.html

Bonster214

Also found this

4) Consider joining forces with another bridesmaid and make the shipping of her gifts to her house your shower present. 

Luckystar2

I don't think there is a good way to do this. Definitely with an older crowd I can't see it going over well. I could see a lot of people ignoring it anyways.

At most I would put a note on he actual registry. And then if people actually ask about it you could say something. But I wouldn't put something in invitations.

kris356

If it is mostly Brian's family, could you have his mom help get the word out? I know that people call my parents all the time and ask about gifts so she may be a good resource. The saying something when they RSVP wouldn't work for me because I always do regrets only.

And my SIL is having a shower and my poor brother has to drive to Toronto this weekend and DC in two weeks for this reason.

egpitt22

Thanks, ladies.  Bonster-I like the idea in that article you linked, maybe we will go that route and i'll have her add a note on her registries as well.  I don't see them ever making the drive from PA to Colorado, so I think she would be stuck paying to ship everything if they get actual gifts that day.

Bonster214

I think people are still going to bring things so I really liked the idea of chipping in for the shipping as a gift. 

csuave

People expect to see gifts opened at a shower so there is not much you can do.  Your SILs best bet may be to cram what she can in a suitcase and then for the larger things return them and then rebuy when she gets home.  I have heard BBB is good at working with brides in this scenario.