hubby vacation alone? need advice.

does

My husband has won a trip through his work, to which guests are not invited and will not be accommodated. There will be some mandatory events for him to attend but also a fair amount of free time. We have 2 kids, and id really like to join (other people have brought family along in the past and will do so again this time around). The hubby says he wants us to come but thinks it will be too difficult and stressful leaving the kids and I behind (they are young 2 and 4) when he has to attend these events, so for that reason he would rather we did not go. Im not sure how I feel about this. I am not a selfish person at all, so I know that if it were me, I would def. bring my family along and do my best to accommodate them or just not go and maybe plan a family vacation instead. On the other hand I don't want my husband to miss out on this opportunity. Conflicted and just looking for other perspectives.

VOR

"Guests are not invited and will not be accommodated."  Based on that, I find it weird that people still bring their families. And as such, no, I wouldn't take my 2 and 4 year old! 

This isn't really a vacation for him.  It's a work event.  He will have work things to do. 

If YOU wanted to go, that's one thing.  But this really doesn't seem to be an event in which to bring kids. 

spikeinc

         I must say that I feel completely opposite to VOR though I read your post differently. To me, you are saying that the company won't pay (accommodate) for additional people to come along but if they want to bring their families on their own dime it is ok. If families are discouraged then I would agree with VOR. Though my dd and I don't go on all work trips, we try to go when we can. My husband has a work trip in September and we are going along. I plan on not spending much time at all with him if any during the day and doing our own things with our own rental car but do plan on getting a sitter during the evenings so we can do things together. My husband asks me if we want to come along every time even though sometimes it is just silly since we would barely see him.

     It sounds as if your husband would have a lot more free time than my husband so even more reason to go. Unfortunately, it sounds like your husband does not want you to come along. That would upset me as well and I would want to find out why. Why would he be upset if you and the kids were doing your own thing while he is doing a work event? That sounds strange to me. Only you know if what he is suggesting is true. Good luck.

Tofumonkey

I think your husband doesn't want you to go because it is clear from the wording that families are not welcome and he is not encouraged to bring his wife and toddlers. The thought makes him uncomfortable and I would respect that.

does

Thanks for the replies. To clarify VOR, it is a vacation and the events are leisure activities. No work involved at all. Its just that travelling with the kids is stressful and I would be alone in another country that he says would stress him out. Obviously it would be stressful for me as well but I dont know that that is a good enough reason to miss out on this opportunity. Thanks again for the advice, though I am still conflicted.

VOR

does said:

Thanks for the replies. To clarify VOR, it is a vacation and the events are leisure activities. No work involved at all. Its just that travelling with the kids is stressful and I would be alone in another country that he says would stress him out. Obviously it would be stressful for me as well but I dont know that that is a good enough reason to miss out on this opportunity. Thanks again for the advice, though I am still conflicted.

If YOU want to go, find someone to watch your kids. WHile this is a leisurely thing, it's still a "work" thing. Some degree of socializing, etc. As they do NOT encourage families to come, I would not bring my 2 and 4 year old. Your DH has told you he doesn't want you all to come. I'm sure this is also about the fact that other work people will be there - he may want to be able to focus on that. Socializing, networking, etc. He can't really focus on that if he's got to worry about you AND the kids. I also find it odd that this is HIS work thing and you're making this yours to decide. If I had a work vacation, I'd love for my DH to come but I would not want my 5 year old to be there. ANd he's easy!!

nyc artist

I would feel weird if I heard that other people were bringing their families. But if not, then I wouldn't worry about it. How long is the trip for?