Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Now what...
Hello Ladies!
I have been a lurker for quite sometime and it took me getting a beating from life to come out of the shadows. So for all that it is worth... here is the backstory. My dad and sister died last year, I lost my job, and my mother fell ill. Fast forward to the present, I am expecting with baby # 2 which was planned. However, things have since gone south with my husband of four years. As of now, he does not want the baby and has to think about whether he wants to be with me or not. I am seriously stressed out I don't know what to do. He has gotten so nasty about it that I just don't know what to do anymore. He claims that he is concerned about my health and if I am able to physically carry a baby, but the way he is acting I think it is further from the truth. I do have some chronic issues, but it can be managed with proper care as the pregnancy progresses per the OB doctor. My husband was furious with this answer and told me that of course my doctor will tell me that because she is contracted with a Catholic hospital and that I need to go to a non-religious hospital and get the truth about the consequences of having a baby at my age (yes, I am of "advance maternal age"). I was in the hospital last weekend with a nasty kidney infection and he kept badgering my dr on call on how high risk I was, what are the red flags and that they needed to tell me there were a lot of risks. Its almost like he is trying to get these doctors to tell me to abort. Now it has come down to our marriage and I am terrified. Should I just leave him, have the baby, and make the most of raising two children by myself or should I just abort so I won't be tortured by him and then leave him. I am filled with mixed emotions, fear of the unknown. If I leave him who would ever want a woman with two kids? I would someday would want to be married again....
Re: Now what...
Is there anybody you can stay with for the duration of the pregnancy? Move in with a good friend or a relative or somebody else in your family?
Staying with him is not an option. How he is acting and how he is treating you will add more stress to your life.
Stay with somebody else if you can.
You might go to a woman's shelter and explain what is happening to you; get some input there; they might have some ideas or solutions that none of us here in ths thread could think of.
Safeguard your assets and stay vigilant. If he feels that way about you, why doesn't he just do you a favor and simply leave???:(
He's so worried and scared of losing her?
So what about this, then:
As of now, he does not want the baby and has to think about whether he wants to be with me or not.
We are really only getting one side of the story here.
OP, what does your husband actually say when you talk to him about it? When you tell him that you feel like he is trying to get you to abort for other reasons?
I'm also confused as you said that this baby was planned?
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk