How would you react to your husband making a spreadsheet of your sexual encounters?

downy72

I saw this on Gawker and was wondering what people's reactions were. People in the comments are arguing that he is in the wrong and she is in the wrong for not having sex more. I think what he did was a little extreme and I don't think I would appreciate my husband "counting" our sex this way. http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/pouty-husband-sends-wife-spreadsheet-detailing-sex-life-1607350830/+tcberman What do you think?

stokesm21

Maybe she doesn't have sex with him because he *asks* her for it instead of seducing or romancing her into it.  We can all argue that it's his fault or her fault but in the end clearly they *both* have issues in this department.  I think he should have manned up, talked to her about it and hopefully they would find some way to get on the same page.  

And like she's going to want to have sex with him after THIS! lol

Edit:  However, I am also concerned about her posting said spreadsheet publicly.  They seem to be 2 very fucked up individuals LOL!  And to answer your question, I think it's horrible.  I would have lost my shit on him.       

doeydo

What an asshole (the husband, that is).

BlueBirdMB

Ummmmmmmmmmmm wow

downy72

It's like keeping track of how many times you've done stuff to him and he's done stuff to you. It's not something to tally. Just do things because you enjoy them and want to genuinely please the other person.

TarponMonoxide

Let's just say for the record this is my spouse and he's handed me this punch sheet of Yes and NO .

Sometimes an interviention is needed.

Maybe he's spoken to her and it's fallen on deaf ears so he's made this list of excuses to drive it home to his wife.

I would say to him "SInce we are being brutally frank, here's the deal" and I would tell him what applied, if the issue was him: he is too routine, too boring, needs to vary positions, comes too quickly, his appearance is lax or whatever applied.

If it is "me", I'd have a good look at myself.l Maytbe my body image isn't what it should be -- maybe I don't feel great or self confident ovewr the 10 pounds I just gained., I've concentrated too much on work instead of "us" or I've simply overlooked the importance of sex.

Who knows what is happening here? Only she can say so for sure.

And he has a full right to know.

They sound rather young. This doesn't even sound like a middle age couple  who have been together for  maybe 35 years or more and sex is definitely waning.

THen again, there are plenty of long-married couples who are still rarin' to go.

He needs to have a frank talk with her and she needs to work on it with him. IF she refuses, he needs to accept that, get an open marrigage or get a divorce.

How often have I said that, on these boards?

Communication is KEY. I have said that a zillion times.

She said she needsd a shower? Then  why doesn't he jump in WITH her?:) What's HIS excuse???

Sore? OTher thinjgs to do, other than intercourse.

So who iis kidding who here???

If she will not work on the issue with him, or refuses, or promises and produces nothing -- if he is stsill coming up n empty after a good chunk of time, he needs to ask for an open relationship or a divorce.

Life is too short for excuse after excuse. And what good is your relationship if you cannot talk to your parttner about everything???

MarriedLateBloomer

I think it's sort of mean the way he presented it but I think they really need to talk.  I would rather have my husband present me with this than go out and find sex somewhere else.  I happen to love spreadsheets by the way.  I used to keep track of how often (on a calendar) we had sex and when I gave him a blow job to show my husband we were having sex much less than I was giving him blow jobs.  He didn't like that.  I think that makes people feel judged and it's like keeping score.  I think it also made him have to look at the fact what I was saying was true and he didn't like to see that.