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Am I just being difficult?
We got married 6 months ago and had a disagreement this morning.. It got me thinking - am I just being difficult or is there some merit in me feeling this way?
We are both working adults.. Im 28 and he is 34 and we dont have any children yet.. My husband is in construction which means that he gets compulsory leave over the festive season. I am in law and therefore unfortunately not that lucky.. We have to save days to enable us to take leave over Christmas, except for the 3 public holidays that falls in that period.
This morning whilst we were having our morning coffee I mentioned that my office have incorrectly captured my 2 days "sick"leave as "annual" leave and that I am in the process of fighting it as I will then only be left with 5 days over the Festive Season (5 week days and the 3 public holidays = 8 weekdays leave over Christmas). I proceeded to say that it is a good thing our families are coming to our new house (We are moving next weekend to a fabulous house next to a dam in a small holiday town close to the city) for the Christmas period as I do not have a lot of leave this year so that we can go around the country and visit our family all over the place.
Re: Am I just being difficult?
Past that... yes, if this is an issue of "I'm ditching you over the holidays", I'd be pretty pissed off. At least w/ NO discussion. If an effort was made to say "Well, as you'll be working, I'd like to spend some of the time doing __" -that's one thing. But to just unilaterally decide for himself what he's doing and for how long and w/ no regard to what you want??
Um, yeah, he's being an ass.
Either way it goes, he is being an ass. It sounds like he is annoyed that he has this time off and you may not get it and he doesnt want to sit around at home waiting for you to get off of work.
First of all, I'm pretty sure the honeymoon phase is a myth. Just because you get married does not mean that you automatically get a month or year or whatever off from dealing with your relationship. The term is misleading and just makes people feel like a failure if they don't have smooth sailing for a certain period of time.
My big question is this:
How did he say that he was going fishing for a week?
Was he rude about it? What message did you get from his revelation?
Also, you and he should be in conversation together about the holidays and how you will spend them. If you decide together that each of you can do as he or she wishes, that is one thing --- I dunno --- but you should not be getting any kind of rude message from it.
(Festive Season...alll I can think of is George Costanza and Festivus.:)
Hi Everyone!!
Thank you so much for the replies and the validation that I am not completely losing it. Things are back to normal - so to say - and it seems as if I will not be spending my time alone over festive season after all!!