Marriage and friends

Knottie90969874

Does anyone feels that the process of the wedding and starting a new life interfered with their relationship with family and friends? I feel like I can't keep up with both families, friends, and our time.

VOR

I'll be honest- I never understand this.  Assuming you actually dated your now DH (did you live together too?) for awhile before getting married, why does marriage now suddenly mean you have "no time" for anyone else?  If you made time for all these people in your life before, why don't you have that same time? 

A lot of this is what you make of it.  If being married means to YOU spending ALL your free time together, well... that's fine.  But yeah, that may mean you sacrifice other relationships.  To me, though, marriage wasn't about spending all our free time together.  Granted- we lived together for a long time before hand, but still... getting married meant firming up our relationship and moving forward being supportive of one another, and a part of that meant respecting our friendships and making time for that in our lives. 

ohmrs2014

The only reason why I don't see my friends as often as I would like is because right before our wedding, we moved a few towns over.  Granted its not that far, but I don't see them as often as I would.  In the beginning of our marriage, for the first month or so, we spent alot of time together because we had never lived together before marriage so we lived in our own little bubble for a bit.  

During DHs busy season at work, where he can work 14-18 hours a day, we tend to spend the weekends together just us two because we don't see other during the week.

But aside from those two little issues, we have nights where we go out together with our friends and then we have our individual girls and guys nights.

BlueBirdMB

Yeah, nothing changed about our lives before we got married.  We weren't more consumed with family, friends, or less consumed. 

catsareniice1

Not one bit.

shelleybelly89

We haven't been able to see our friends and family as much since we got married...but I think the fact that we got married during the time that it started to happen is just a coincidence.

This summer, DH moved up higher in his company and works a lot more, and has an extremely unpredictable work schedule, as in we can't make plans because 9 times out of 10 he gets called into work, especially on weekends. If he is working around home, he typically works 12 hour days at least, and other times he is away for 1-3 weeks at a time. He loves his job and the overtime is definitely work it, but when he is home he wants to stay in and spend time with me because he's not here much. I try to schedule outings with friends at least once a month so we don't turn into complete hermits lol. It has nothing to do with us getting married though, it's just what he has to do at this stage in his career...we're both looking forward to a little less craziness in a few years

NoneForUs

I still have a social life outside of my marriage. I never wanted to be the kind of wife who made my husband my singular focus. 

My husband is a homebody and an introvert, which means that I go out far more often than he does and I have more friends. He can be a little bit clingy, so I make sure that I consider his feelings when I make plans with my friends or family. 

Bubblegum5586

H and I had lived together for a few years first so the transition was easy for us. It's harder to see some of our friends because we all just live further away from each other then we used to. We still see our family and friends a lot together and individually. 

SheMarie82

I felt like during the engagement process, I struggled because I was focused on wedding stuff all the time.  BUT I knew that no one else was nearly as concerned about it as I was.  Now that the wedding is done, I feel like I am fine in all of those relationships.  My wife and I have been together for over 10 years, so we are perfectly fine doing things apart! 

sillygoosegirl

I haven't found marriage to be particularly time consuming.  

Ilumine

I don't understand why planning a wedding is that all consuming.  

My Association planned a march on Washington that had almost a thousand participants, all over the age of 65.  Myself and two other people organized the permits, the timeline, the route, the press, the number of meetings with various federal officials, to include the Supreme Court, the private EMS, a photographer and videographer, etc.  

The only thing I did not have to worry about was a costume for the day of (well, other than making sure my special suit was dry-cleaned).  

And yet I was able to maintain my relationship with my then BF and my friends and family.