Confessions, Vents, etc

gwennythepooh

Trying to get things moving a little today

gwennythepooh

DD came up beside me when I was sitting on the ground this morning. She says 'MAMA! Your hair looks like Anna's! (from Frozen) It has white in it!' I guess I'll be running to the store for some hair color on my lunch hour  :-S

Meghan&Rich

LOL Gwen!  The other day Rich and I were dressed up to go somewhere, and Mason was like 'What?  Why are you dressed like that?  You look like a Gentleman and a Lady!'  Apparently we need to step up our game when it comes to our appearances. 

gwennythepooh

Hehe - I love that he went 'gentleman and lady'! How very dapper of him

egpitt22

LOL!  the kids crack me up.  Jake asked me a few months back why I had lines on my forehead.  I told him that they mysteriously appeared about 6 years ago.....

Also: I, too, found what appear to be some greys the other day.  NOOOOOOO!!!!!

gwennythepooh

Aw, Emmy! It's no fun when you find those first ones And I agree - the lines on the forehead do seem to co-incide with a particular life event...

Jcubed2003

I have somewhat given up on a friendship where I seemed to do all of the communicating. It makes me sad and think that maybe this person wasn't a true friend. Does anyone have advice on what to do in this sort of situation? 

amyjoy18

CPS is going to end up at my house.  On Saturday night DH ended up sleeping on the couch with Nolan (Nolan's sleep issues are a whole other spot of contention) and got up to go hunting that morning (in the woods behind our house).  At some point around 8, Nolan woke up and never came upstairs, and instead decided to unlock the door and go outside.  DH saw him from his tree stand walking down the driveway barefoot. 

Yesterday evening DH again headed out to the woods.  I took 1 minute to go to the bathroom (Brinley was also going to the bathroom) and I came down and Nolan had put the dog in the basement (so Deuce wouldn't escape when he did) and again unlocked the door and headed outside.  I found him standing on a rock wearing nothing but a diaper. 

I ordered some doorknob things, but am not confident they will keep my little Houdini contained.

Luckystar2

Jcubed2003 said:

I have somewhat given up on a friendship where I seemed to do all of the communicating. It makes me sad and think that maybe this person wasn't a true friend. Does anyone have advice on what to do in this sort of situation? 

I've been there. I had to just back away and stop getting annoyed. As much as I could at least. I definitely stopped putting an effort and then she would apologize. Then I would be honest and tell her it hurt my feelings, etc. and then she would promise to be better. And then the cycle would repeat. We still hang out on occasion as part of a group of friends but our friendship will never be the same. We used to email all the time...I don't remember the last email we had. I don't really have advice other than some people just don't care as much about friendships as others. You don't have to keep putting all the effort if she isn't doing anything and be honest and tell her how it makes you feel.

gwennythepooh

Jcubed2003 said:

I have somewhat given up on a friendship where I seemed to do all of the communicating. It makes me sad and think that maybe this person wasn't a true friend. Does anyone have advice on what to do in this sort of situation? 

I totally understand. I agree with luckystar, I've had similar situations and when I've backed away - it usually becomes pretty clear if a) it's just me or b) there's truly a lack of communication. It can be hard, but I'd just minimize things for a bit and see if that helps. Anymore I'm in a place where I am putting more effort into good friendships than trying to spread around attention to subpar ones.

AmandaJLewis

I am still flip flopping on my decision to return to work after these babies arrive.  why does it have to be so difficult to decide?!?!  I know going back to work would be easier in some ways, mostly that I will get a break in my day from them. But getting them to daycare every day, especially when K travels is just so overwhelming. I don't feel strongly either way. it is tough.

lala5507

I have nothing else to confess but can I AW dh for a minute...All day morning sickness has set in and I have a uti.  Dh was out of town yesterday and on his way home he called and told me to not set my alarm in the morning, he would get dd up and take her to school. 

That was the sweetest, most helpful thing he has done during any of my pregnancies.  I guess 3rd time's a charm. 

Meghan&Rich

AmandaJLewis said:

I am still flip flopping on my decision to return to work after these babies arrive.  why does it have to be so difficult to decide?!?!  I know going back to work would be easier in some ways, mostly that I will get a break in my day from them. But getting them to daycare every day, especially when K travels is just so overwhelming. I don't feel strongly either way. it is tough.

Could you go part time?  Maybe you will have more clarity when you are on your maternity leave.  Or you could go back to work, give it a month or two and see how you feel then.  Sometimes it helps if I make a T chart and list the pros and cons, if I see everything written down it helps to organize my thoughs.  It is a tough decision.  And whatever you do, it will be equally hard, just in different ways.

denalea

gwennythepooh said:

Jcubed2003 said:

I have somewhat given up on a friendship where I seemed to do all of the communicating. It makes me sad and think that maybe this person wasn't a true friend. Does anyone have advice on what to do in this sort of situation? 

I totally understand. I agree with luckystar, I've had similar situations and when I've backed away - it usually becomes pretty clear if a) it's just me or b) there's truly a lack of communication. It can be hard, but I'd just minimize things for a bit and see if that helps. Anymore I'm in a place where I am putting more effort into good friendships than trying to spread around attention to subpar ones.

It does stink.  I try to remind myself that sometimes friendships are for seasons.  And sometimes they rekindle.  Sometimes not.  And it's OK to grieve that and move on peacefully.  I wouldn't declare a break up or anything.  It is possible that down the line situations will change and there will be a chance to reconnect on a deeper level.  But, it is OK to not invest as much.  I would just do what you're comfortable with in terms of reaching out, and let things happen as they may.

Also, if you're willing to be honest and upfront, you could ask your friend if there is something going on that is bothering her or she is upset about?  Or, is there something going on in her life that is preoccupying her?  (Especially if this is a change in your friendship.) However, if it just her personality, I would just back off and move on, being friendly, but not investing so much time that you felt resentful.

denalea

Meghan&Rich said:

AmandaJLewis said:

I am still flip flopping on my decision to return to work after these babies arrive.  why does it have to be so difficult to decide?!?!  I know going back to work would be easier in some ways, mostly that I will get a break in my day from them. But getting them to daycare every day, especially when K travels is just so overwhelming. I don't feel strongly either way. it is tough.

Could you go part time?  Maybe you will have more clarity when you are on your maternity leave.  Or you could go back to work, give it a month or two and see how you feel then.  Sometimes it helps if I make a T chart and list the pros and cons, if I see everything written down it helps to organize my thoughts.  It is a tough decision.  And whatever you do, it will be equally hard, just in different ways.

Also, I would try to remember that deciding for now does not equal deciding forever.  If you go back and it is too much, you can always quit then.  If you decide not to go back, you are still free to look for another job down the line.  Each has its benefits and its liabilities (how easy it would be to quit/rely on one income vs. how easy it would be to find another job that you like and the appropriateness of compensation) but it always helps me to remember that there really aren't that many life decisions that are irreversible/changeable again!

sarahandtim

My vent is that now my doctors think I have a problem with my gallbladder. Seriously?! And for about 2 hours yesterday I thought there was a slim chance I might be in labor (despite the pain being mid back and not lower back). If nothing else, it kicked our butts into gear. This weekend we're setting up the bassinet, packing the hospital bags, etc. We have been world class procrastinators with poor baby #2!

sarahandtim

AmandaJLewis said:

I am still flip flopping on my decision to return to work after these babies arrive.  why does it have to be so difficult to decide?!?!  I know going back to work would be easier in some ways, mostly that I will get a break in my day from them. But getting them to daycare every day, especially when K travels is just so overwhelming. I don't feel strongly either way. it is tough.

I agree with Meghan about thinking about part time. It has been the most perfect solution for me. 2 days a week I get to have a little break from the kiddo, but I get 4 day weekends and a day with Logan on Tuesdays. It's definitely something to consider.