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OneSmartCookie

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VOR

What the EVER loving fuck?  You need to be riding your DHs ass on this hard.  HARD.  She wants you to take over because HER CHILDREN don't want to, and HE actually has the nerve to also push you to do this??  Because he doesn't want to?

Seriously- this makes me angry for you.  Your problem actually really isn't her as much as it is him.  Because if he wasn't being a hypocritical ass, he'd be backing you up. 

If he isn't will to drop everything HE's worked for, then he needs to back the fuck off. 

That being said - I would start refusing to go to these dinners.  To make a point to ALL of them.  you will NOT be taking over her business, you have no desire to, and as long as they insist on pushing this - you will not be spending time with them.

OneSmartCookie

Whoa. The bad language wasn't necessary. Neither was the attack of my husband without details about it. I think I'm looking for advice in the wrong place.

Can someone help me to delete my account. I can't seem to find a way out.

Disneygeek77

Well she kinda has a point and it honestly saddens me that you don't see it.  

You need to start setting boundaries.  Boundaries are good and boundaries are healthy.  It is obvious whatever you are doing now  isn't working, so you need to step it up a bit.  Be more blunt and more direct.  Do not sugarcoat or give them any indication you are even considering this.  Tell MIL, " MIL I am done discussing this with you.  If you continue to bring it up I will have no choice but to leave / hang up." 

You also need to get it out of your head that tension is a bad thing.   Sometimes standing up for yourself causes tension, awkwardness and conflict.  That is ok.  

OtterJ

...this is why so many of the boards are vacant. 

You can give sage advice (hopefully most of the advice that is being given is coming out of circumstances that you have personally experienced, and successfully survived) in a way that encourages the person to move in the right direction - knowing, that maybe your advice isn't what they need or will follow, but hoping that it will help.

Or

You can jump to the extreme, and give an absolute black and white response that insults any & every person involved.  Including (too often on these boards), belittling and judging the person for having the problem in the first place.

Not everything is completely black and white, and not everyone is willing to piss off everyone around them in order to take a stand.  It is possible to find a balance. 

@onesmartcookie - this would have been my advice:  Seriously consider for a moment whether or not your mother in law's offer is something that you would ever want to peruse at any time in the future.  If it isn't (and it sounds like it is not), then you need to let your husband know - without any shadow of a doubt - that you would never be willing to enter into such an opportunity.  Then, as a united front, you and your husband need to let your mother in law know that while you appreciate the consideration, your minds (both of them) have been made, and the decision to continue to pursue a job in your own field stands - unwavering.  It is possible to be firm, concise, and set clear boundaries, without throwing a tantrum. 

I'm sorry your first experience posting on the nest was an unpleasant one.  When you ask for advice - gather it, and then weed through it and pick and choose what to leave and what to take.  If you feel like you're given words that are too harsh or bad advice (as with any forum), just ignore it and move on.  On these boards, the thicker your skin, the better.  Because remember - we only have the tiniest snippet of the problem.  Only you know the whole picture. 

TarponMonoxide

This must have been a lolopaloza.

Too bad somebody didn't quote the original poster. That way, nothing could have been deleted by the OP.