What should i tell him? tmi

euniceleon

I love my husband so much and sex is great but he finishes really fast. When hes almost done I'm barely getting there. Sorry tmi! What should i do? sorry again.

CJBosquez

Warning: Some TMI. Talk with him, outside of the bedroom, about how you would like to try taking things slow, or look up some foreplay ideas that sound good to you and suggest those. Let him know that you are still very attracted to him, etc, but that you take a bit longer to "get there" than he does. Often for women, arousal starts slow and builds. If you are comfortable with it, you can have him send you texts or emails throughout the day, letting you know how attracted he is to you, what he wants to try that night, etc. Respond back with your own ideas. This will get your mind in the right frame and get you excited, so that you are more aroused when you do start physical foreplay. Personally, I like lots of skin on skin cuddling and kissing. Make sure to let him know if there is anything that you don't like or that turns you off. For instance, my DH likes to lightly spank me, but it just makes me laugh and kills the mood when he is trying to be sexy. This might cause controversy, but you can also "take turns". Some nights, just go for a quickie. Others, let him know that the focus is on you, and you let him know exactly what you want done.

cowgirl8238

I just wanted to say that I know exaclty how you feel and foreplay is a big help.  Also very helpful is just talking to him about how you need more time to get in the mood.  When my H and I were first active (while dating) he would be a bit quick.  But over time he learned to slow down too. 

Sometimes, I will start myself off before he gets home, then greet him at the door in something sexy for a quick romp...it brings a nice balance to everything ya know?

doeydo

Can he not do oral or anything to get you off, perhaps before you have sex?  Sorry, but unless you are faking it, why is he not concerned that his wife hardly ever "gets off"?

vlagrl29

you need to tell him about this.  He needs to slow it down so he can last as long as you.  Or after he finishes he can clean up and get back on it for you.  That's what DH does if he finishes before me.

TarponMonoxide

euniceleon said:

I love my husband so much and sex is great but he finishes really fast. When hes almost done I'm barely getting there. Sorry tmi! What should i do? sorry again.


I agree:

Have a talk with him outside of the bedroom.

I am guessing he is inexperienced. This can be fixed.:)

He needs to work on this with you and vice versa: You can slow down the action --- don't touch him where his hot spot is, kiss him and do other things that don't involve intercourse, and add lots and lots and lots of foreplay.:)

Tell him that sex with him is hot and it will be even hotter if the 2 of you slow down and enjoy having sex.:)

He needs to use the old "think about baseball" trick to prolong sex with you and prolong ejaculation.

I am sure there are instructive books the 2 of you can look at together.  Try on line and try Amazon --- you are likely to find something ideal for you and for your H.:)

You can use this to your advantage:

you need to tell him about this.  He needs to slow it down so he can last as long as you.  Or after he finishes he can clean up and get back on it for you.  That's what DH does if he finishes before me.

When he ejaculates once, it is very likely he won't do it again for a good period of time --- have sex all over again and this time around, take your time.

Try this for starters, the next time you want to have sex:

Tell him it will be hot to see him get himself off.

Enjoy watching the show and after he's done, have sex.:)

bennypb

I'm surprised you've managed to make it past the point of being married and he still doesn't realise you're not getting your fair share! You should have mentioned it sooner, easier said than done I know but do it now or you'll just start to get resentful over it. The others are right it should be in a totally non sexual environment, but also relaxed, you don't want to make it seem like a huge deal or it will hit his confidence and if he has a problem with premature ejaculation then the more he stresses about it the worse it'll get. 

The average time a man lasts is between 6-10 mins, PE is classed as regularly lasting less than 90 seconds. The good news for you is that the best thing he can do is practice! Both alone and especially with you. He needs to learn when he's about to ejaculate so that he can pause, maybe give you some oral, then carry on when he's ready. You could also get him a male masturbator to practice with, they're so realistic they can help men conquer the physical side of PE. 

There are other ways to help, such as the antidepressants SSRIs but these obviously have side effects, the most natural and long term way to deal with it is practice. This article lays out all the options nicely http://www.passionbay.com/blog/premature-ejaculation-last-longer-bed/

That said it sounds like he just doesn't actually realise what he's doing wrong. Perhaps when you talk to him  the penny might drop and he'll realise he's not been paying enough attention to you. Good luck! 

hensje30

I cum fast to. But after I cum I eat my wife till orgasm!