Thank you for the help.

yesthisisanae2

magsugar13

You should do exactly what you would want him to do if he did what you did.

GilliC

My top suggestion would be: See a counselor.

The guilt is completely natural and understandable, but are you absolutely sure that whatever the underlying issues were that caused you to cheat have been fully addressed? I don't the background of what was going on when you cheated, but in general, if you haven't talked to someone before, I would strongly recommend it. Cheating is usually a symptom that something is seriously wrong, and most of the time our view is colored by emotions and we're not self-aware enough to recognize all of the problems. Seeing a professional in a confidential setting, where you can discuss your feelings (both then and now) can be a huge benefit.

My second suggestion would be: get over it.

You apparently moved past it, and it sounds like you're trying to convince us that everything has been fine since then. Has it really been fine? Are you both truly happy? You don't argue much, you are content with your marriage, and it's not a struggle? If that's true, then re-opening that door is only going to cause pain. No one confesses because it's a nice thing to do for the other person. Confessing is to make yourself feel better. If you're afraid this other guy is going to spill your secret, that's another problem altogether, but if you're considering fessing up just because you're tired of the guilt? Well, I'd still suggest seeing a counselor, but if you won't do that, then live with the guilt or consider why you potentially want to end your marriage.

yesthisisanae2

magsugar13

So, if your husband was having sex with another woman you wouldnt want to know? I call BS!

doeydo

yesthisisanae2 said:

The thing is, I don't want to end my marriage. My husband has a bit of a problem with affection and I have major insecurity issues. When I feel like I am not getting attention from him I would go elsewhere. It was always harmless until that one time. After it happened I felt so gross and so despicable I swore I would never do anything like that again. We have been fine since then and things have gotten a lot better. Yes, I somewhat worry that the guy will say something, but he doesn't have access to either me or my husband via Facebook and doesn't know my husband's number. The fact that two years have gone by also makes me think he wouldn't say anything now. 

Honestly, I don't want to tell DH. If he cheated and it was a one time thing I would rather not know either. I just want to move on and enjoy our lives. I feel like I learned my lesson yet I can't forgive myself. 

QFP.