Things you'll hear if you keep your name

dutchgirl76

I'm not sure if this is the right board for this but I thought it was spot on for ladies who didn't change their name when they got married. I think they forgot "your husband LET you keep your name?" and "I guess you have a good reason...earned degrees, previous publications like research etc." Anyone have anything to add? http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kate-van-dellen/ten-things-youll-hear-if-_b_6017066.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000032

*P.S. I have no problem with ladies who change their name and don't intend for this to be a change your name or not debate.

TarponMonoxide

Some women simply wish to retain their maiden name.

None of anyone's business what name you take. And it doesn't make you less of a spouse if you remain "Agatha Scheneferneengoogle."

dutchgirl76

Oh I know it doesn't make you any less married. I got a lot of kickback when I got married for not changing my name. Changing my name was never an option for me, I wouldn't even consider hyphenating because I wasn't going to go by both last names so it wasn't worth the hassle. I wish more people would stay out of ladies business and not worry about it. My husband didn't have a choice if I changed my name or not and he shouldn't be looked down upon either for "letting me" keep my name or whatever comments people make.

GilliC

Meh. People say things no matter what. I changed mine, and people said things because:
1. I used my maiden surname as my middle name, which apparently freaked some people out.
2. I took my H's surname as my new surname, but according to south Indian culture, I should have taken his first name as my new surname. But I thought that would confuse almost everyone who isn't south Indian.
3. Ever after I repeated over and over the conversation: "Where is your surname from?" "India." "Oh. Is your father Indian? You don't look Indian."

TarponMonoxide

I had my last name changed and it now was something common.:)

I had to listen closely if I was waiting on a line and my name was going to be called.:)

tseguin

If you are comfortable and happy with your choice I don't understand why other people's comments bother you.  I am sure people frown upon me for being old school and changing my last name or what ever reason they feel women shouldn't change their last names, however, I just don't care, because that is my choice and I am 100% confident with my choice. 

dutchgirl76

I more so think this article is funny which is why I posted it. I think anyone who didn't change their name would have heard comments like this even if it doesn't bother them. People post similar articles about things people who don't want children are sick of hearing or things people without children shouldn't say to parents etc. 

I'm 100% confident in my choice to not change my name, it was never an option to change it. The only time I really even realize we don't have the same name is when someone sends a holiday card or wedding invitation with mr. and mrs. husband's name or sometimes we go on vacation and people get confused in other countries how we're married with different names. I've learned to just roll with it because they're not going to get it. I get more frustrated with people who send cards or address me in person as mrs. husband's name because they know I didn't change my name but there's nothing I can do about that.

tseguin

dutchgirl76 said:

I more so think this article is funny which is why I posted it. I think anyone who didn't change their name would have heard comments like this even if it doesn't bother them. People post similar articles about things people who don't want children are sick of hearing or things people without children shouldn't say to parents etc. 

I'm 100% confident in my choice to not change my name, it was never an option to change it. The only time I really even realize we don't have the same name is when someone sends a holiday card or wedding invitation with mr. and mrs. husband's name or sometimes we go on vacation and people get confused in other countries how we're married with different names. I've learned to just roll with it because they're not going to get it. I get more frustrated with people who send cards or address me in person as mrs. husband's name because they know I didn't change my name but there's nothing I can do about that.

Sorry, I didn't mean "you" personally. I meant you in the context of the people who are complaining about comments people make whether they change their name or not. Should have re-read my post before clicking submit.

bekt14

I did change my name, but I was surprised by how many people made that assumption before I told them. About a month before my wedding all my coworkers started calling me Mrs. DH's Last Name.

On all our wedding gifts people wrote my married name on all the cards. If I had chosen to keep my maiden name, that probably would have bothered me a lot more. 

Munashi

The degrees/publications "reason" nearly always shuts people up in my experience, but man... it's annoying that you need a "good excuse" rather than simply "it was my choice".

AlePeezy2013

My name, my choice. I hated that. It was especially difficult because a coworker got married a few months before me and had her nameplate changed before she even left for the wedding week prep. I was getting asked when I'd be sending mine in to have it changed. I was like "Are we adding my middle initial?"

I did not, proudly, change my name. Although someone did ask "whatever will your children do if there's an emergency?" or "I would be afraid of confusion for the kids". My mom had a different last name from me and my brother and we never, not even once had an issue recognizing her as our mother or knowing we needed her in an emergency. 

I am not going to burn any Holiday cards that come addressed to Mr and Mrs, but I will certainly sign my name on the return one with the correct name.