Family Matters
alexnicole452647
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Oh The Holidays
So even though there is no interest in mine and my husband's life together my MIL keeps mentioning that we should take over her holidays because she doesn't want to host anymore and is pretty forceful about it. I keep saying we will do holidays at our home when we decide to and my husband just encourages her (I know we need to get on the same page it's something we are working on). I have a few issues with this but my main issue is that we travel during all of the holidays to spend some time with my parents who do not live by also I know all of the responsibilities will fall on me which I am not ready to take on at this point. Eventually my parents will sell their home that I grew up in and move closer but until then we are enjoying what holidays we see each other in my childhood home. Bottom line is that I am tired of MIL pushing all of her distant relatives and her holidays on me, she has gone as far as to plan out how I will host this event. I know it would be better coming from my husband but I am wondering if I should just let her know what we will not be having the holidays this year and we will let her know when we are ready.
Re: Oh The Holidays
If your DH won't do it, then yes, do it. Don't get into over explanation, though. Leave it simple. "I appreciate that you don't want to host the holiday's again. However, as we're traveling again this year, we'll be unable to do it.". Period.
She starts to throw out "how" you can still do it (different day, traveling at a different time, etc) - smile and stand firm and say "As I said, we won't be hosting this year." PERIOD.
The less you say, the less she can argue.
If that's the case then you have a DH issue.
As to your MIL, a simple "We will not be hosting this year." Is all you need to say.
If you don't know them or you are not crazy about them, you are not obligated to entertain them.
Tell her what you told us. "We will not be hosting the holidays this year; we've made other plans quite some time ago. We will let you know when we will host a holiday" and as an option, you can add "and we will invite you" but that's up to you.:)
I agree with this, you do not need to justify your decision, but make sure that you are on the same page as your husband. It would make things far worse if he played it off like it is all your decision. You need to have a united front on this.
Be the change you want to see in the world!