Pittsburgh Nesties
denalea
member
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Poll/Opinion re: social situation
I'm not trying to start any trouble or anything, but overheard an encounter today that has me wondering what you all thought
Story:
I was in a family restaurant establishment. Middle of the road - not pricey, but still a sit down restaurant. A couple walked in and sat...I'm not sure if it was before or after me, because I had just taken the 3 hour glucose tolerance test and my singular focus was FOOD. At any rate, if they walked past me, I didn't notice. I was busy checking FB and devouring my salad bar selections and waiting for my super burger.
HOWEVER, the lady sitting behind me obviously did notice. Apparently when the couple walked by, the female smelled quite strongly of urine. She was obviously unkempt. (Greasy nearly matted hair.) She was overweight, and looked to be physically disabled, but not obviously mentally disabled. The man appeared relatively neatly kept. I did not get close enough to smell either of them.
The woman sitting behind me was downright livid about this woman being in the restaurant, and let the waitress know. (This is when I got clued in to the whole thing as I overhead the conversation.) From what lady behind me said, when the couple walked by, the odor caused her to gag. I heard the waitress apologize, acknowledge it was a difficult situation, and that the server assigned to that table was struggling. To the best of my knowledge she didn't offer to do anything about it, though. (Not sure she really could have...) The patron behind me was insistent that someone tell the offensive woman that she was indeed smelling offensive. I didn't hear the waitress' response.
And then, after she complained to the waitress, the lady sitting behind me actually went over to the offensive woman and told her so. "You smell of urine In this day and age, no one should leave the house like that." She then looked at the waitress and said, "You're welcome" and walked out. I averted my eyes.
On one hand, I agree that you should take care of yourself if you are going to be in public (in regards to odors, dirt, and other hygiene issues.....also appropriate dress, but not related to style, etc....Just dressed)
But, on the other, I think it was incredibly rude of the woman to address the situation with strangers. It was obvious that she ruined this couple's meal. Without knowing health history, etc., who knows if the woman had a medical issue, or couldn't afford the supplies to keep herself clean. She may have just gotten out of the hospital, or something to that effect. Who knows the story....
I can't figure out how to post a clicky poll (didn't you used to be able to just click "add poll"?!?!) but am anxious to hear what you all think. Just curious. People intrigue me, and I always like hearing different sides to stories and opinions.
Should the waitress/restaurant have removed the couple? (They needed to know that she/they smelled offensive, which is inappropriate for an eating establishment.)
Should the offended patron said something to the couple? (If you're loved ones aren't going to tell you, someone should!)
Should they have just let the be? (Mind your own business, move your seat if you have to, grin and bear it as a waitress, and assume there is more to the story than you know.)
Thoughts?
Story:
I was in a family restaurant establishment. Middle of the road - not pricey, but still a sit down restaurant. A couple walked in and sat...I'm not sure if it was before or after me, because I had just taken the 3 hour glucose tolerance test and my singular focus was FOOD. At any rate, if they walked past me, I didn't notice. I was busy checking FB and devouring my salad bar selections and waiting for my super burger.
HOWEVER, the lady sitting behind me obviously did notice. Apparently when the couple walked by, the female smelled quite strongly of urine. She was obviously unkempt. (Greasy nearly matted hair.) She was overweight, and looked to be physically disabled, but not obviously mentally disabled. The man appeared relatively neatly kept. I did not get close enough to smell either of them.
The woman sitting behind me was downright livid about this woman being in the restaurant, and let the waitress know. (This is when I got clued in to the whole thing as I overhead the conversation.) From what lady behind me said, when the couple walked by, the odor caused her to gag. I heard the waitress apologize, acknowledge it was a difficult situation, and that the server assigned to that table was struggling. To the best of my knowledge she didn't offer to do anything about it, though. (Not sure she really could have...) The patron behind me was insistent that someone tell the offensive woman that she was indeed smelling offensive. I didn't hear the waitress' response.
And then, after she complained to the waitress, the lady sitting behind me actually went over to the offensive woman and told her so. "You smell of urine In this day and age, no one should leave the house like that." She then looked at the waitress and said, "You're welcome" and walked out. I averted my eyes.
On one hand, I agree that you should take care of yourself if you are going to be in public (in regards to odors, dirt, and other hygiene issues.....also appropriate dress, but not related to style, etc....Just dressed)
But, on the other, I think it was incredibly rude of the woman to address the situation with strangers. It was obvious that she ruined this couple's meal. Without knowing health history, etc., who knows if the woman had a medical issue, or couldn't afford the supplies to keep herself clean. She may have just gotten out of the hospital, or something to that effect. Who knows the story....
I can't figure out how to post a clicky poll (didn't you used to be able to just click "add poll"?!?!) but am anxious to hear what you all think. Just curious. People intrigue me, and I always like hearing different sides to stories and opinions.
Should the waitress/restaurant have removed the couple? (They needed to know that she/they smelled offensive, which is inappropriate for an eating establishment.)
Should the offended patron said something to the couple? (If you're loved ones aren't going to tell you, someone should!)
Should they have just let the be? (Mind your own business, move your seat if you have to, grin and bear it as a waitress, and assume there is more to the story than you know.)
Thoughts?
Re: Poll/Opinion re: social situation
Jake - 1.15.08
Liam - 5.17.11
I also agree with Gwen - definitely let it be. Although, I am a confrontational person when it comes to people being a-holes (DH says that I will end up on that show "What Would You Do?", lol), so I probably would have given the horrible woman who said something a piece of my mind. Her behavior makes me livid!
This is something I've experienced in the work place, when there have been times that I have had to have conversations with employees regarding their odor, but that is part of my job. I know how to handle difficult conversations, what resources to offer them if there is some extenuating circumstance going on, etc.
I was embarrassed for the couple, and for the woman, too, really. She looked like a jerk. (And she was one). She didn't do it loudly, but I was a few tables away and heard, so I know others did, too. I thought about apologizing to the couple, but thought that might make it worse....
How time flies! Caileigh (9), Keira (6) & Eamon (3)
This is an upsetting story. I can't imagine how the woman felt being rudely confronted by a stranger like that.
If the smell was too hard for me to take I would have just tried to get out of the restaurant faster by getting a to go box or something.
I would like to think that after all the episodes I have seen of What Would You Do? that I would have confronted the mean lady or comforted the other lady but I probably would have been so shocked that I wouldn't have had time to process and react.
When I was a hostess at the Olive Garden we were trained to discretely place a chair without arms (Larry Chair) at a table before seating any larger guests. When I received this training I understood the importance of preventing guests from discomfort or potential embarrassment. Too bad the mean woman in your story didn't put herself in the other woman's shoes before opening her mouth.
Dena - I'm curious, but what was the "receiving" couples' reaction?
I agree with all of you ladies, too, regarding this embarassing situation (for the attacker). There are definitely ways situations could be handled - this lady clear did it the worng way.
My three sons!