Sister problems

Happyandyouknowit

I really don't know what to do or who to talk so here I am. I have a younger sister that makes me angry and sad when I'm around her. First, she is a hypochondriac. About a year ago I stopped talking to her as much because I couldn't handle her daily story about how she was going to die. This week has been the first time I have seen her in a year and she still talks about how she's going to die everyday. The sad thing is, everyone around her knows how ridiculous she sounds but never says anything to her. They actually encourage her to go to the dr which doesn't make sense. Anyways, that part of her doesn't make me as crazy as her mood swings. Her moods swings would be tolerable if she didn't put others down. She makes comments how she's the smartest person in the family or tells people now annoying they are. I could sit here all night telling stories about how ungrateful and rude she is. I guess I don't know if I should stop trying to be a good older sister or keep my mouth shut like everyone else does. I feel like I should live my own life and cut her out as much as possible but I'm not sure if that is the best thing to do for our family. If anyone has sibling problems and came up with a solution I would love to hear.

englishtrish1

Is she getting treatment for her mental illness?

puppylove2014

It does sound like she needs to be evaluated by a mental health professional. Where are your parents in all this? Ignoring her issues will not make them go away.

TarponMonoxide

Happyandyouknowit said:

I really don't know what to do or who to talk so here I am. I have a younger sister that makes me angry and sad when I'm around her. First, she is a hypochondriac. About a year ago I stopped talking to her as much because I couldn't handle her daily story about how she was going to die. This week has been the first time I have seen her in a year and she still talks about how she's going to die everyday. The sad thing is, everyone around her knows how ridiculous she sounds but never says anything to her. They actually encourage her to go to the dr which doesn't make sense. Anyways, that part of her doesn't make me as crazy as her mood swings. Her moods swings would be tolerable if she didn't put others down. She makes comments how she's the smartest person in the family or tells people now annoying they are. I could sit here all night telling stories about how ungrateful and rude she is. I guess I don't know if I should stop trying to be a good older sister or keep my mouth shut like everyone else does. I feel like I should live my own life and cut her out as much as possible but I'm not sure if that is the best thing to do for our family. If anyone has sibling problems and came up with a solution I would love to hear.

She could be mentally ill.

Or maybe she is just one of these people who reads about this illness and that one and thinks that's what's wrong with him or herself lately.

I don't know how old she is; if she is over 18, she's an adult. Nobody can force her to get to a physician/mental health professional for an evaluation.

She could just plain ole be nasty and rude too -- and given that, perhaps its time for you to say "Sis, enough is enough of your rude comments. When you cut it out and get your act together, call me" and then cut her off until she comes to her senses --- which may be never but what can ya do. 

TheMadHatter93

I know some people who are just like this - I had a friend in high school that was just like your sister. She always had a new disease/condition that she had diagnosed herself with and needed to talk about but wouldn't see a professional. She also had a bad attitude and thought she was the smartest person in the world and always made everyone around her feel stupid and immature. She was so toxic that she ended up losing all of her friends and can't keep them for long.

The saddest thing was that all people could do was ignore her, talking to her about it was useless because she was almost delusional about the things she went on about. 

For you I think the first step would be to talk to relatives, especially your parents. See if anyone else feels the same about her behaviour and if they do you should see if there is perhaps something you can do to confront her/help her as a group rather than you becoming the evil sister by doing it alone.

Happyandyouknowit

MadHatter my sister has one friend and honestly I wouldn't call it a real friendship. Also, like your friend I can't talk to her about anything even if I try in the gentlest way. In the past when she asked for advice i would give her my opinion but it would end up with her getting mad at me so now I don't give advice. I know family members feel the same as me but I think they are trying to avoid conflict. I know our other sibling avoids her because he told me a few days ago after he caught me crying from something hurtful she said to me.

Happyandyouknowit

She is constantly online reading about illnesses so I think that is where she gets ideas that she is always sick. I love her but I wish she were a bit more grateful and less dramatic and negative. I think my parents are part of the problem. She's 25 and bosses my mom around a lot, however my mom supports her behavior. That's what makes me think I can't say anything to her and I doubt my parents will back me up if I say something to her. Unfortunately she is the baby of the family so my parents treat her like a baby. My mom makes her lunch everyday, does her laundry, buys her clothes and makeup, and even cleans her room. Now that I'm getting this out I know for sure if I say something my parents won't back me up. We were playing a game last night and during the game my sister was being hateful so I simply said "we don't get much family time so have fun" she then snapped at me and my mom started rubbing her back and consoling her even though she was the one being rude to others before I said anything. I didn't even say anything bad I just said be happy. I really am lost. I feel like one day I will just lose it and walk away from my family all together.

englishtrish1

Your parents are enabling her but if that's what they want to do that's on them. You have to set boundaries on how you allow her to treat you, and hold strong to them.

TarponMonoxide

I wonder if it is possible she might be on the austism spectrum somewhere.

Does she work? Did she ever go to college? I am guessing she isn't employed, being your mother is purchasing what she needs.

Perhaps you should keep your distance from her. Why should you continually walk into what is a confrontational hornet's nest?

Happyandyouknowit

She hasn't had a job until recently. She has been working the past 6 months. I actually mentioned to my mom last year that she may be on the autism spectrum but she didn't respond to me.