Trouble in Paradise
juliemizak
member
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Having some trouble
I have never done this before but I have been going through a rough patch. My husband and I have been married for 5 years and have 2 kids (2 years & 5 mos old). He has always been sarcastic and there were times that he would say things that are not very nice. I had depression while I was pregnant and was never super excited about the pregnancy. I LOVE my children to death but feel that my marriage is not what it used to be. I feel that I am not in love with him but don't have the financial stability to leave either. We have been through rough patches before but he never wants to work on thinsg. He thinks it is because I don't show affection and if I did all would be well with the world. The hard part is that I am a mental health therapist so I give clients advice on a daily basis. When it comes to myself, I feel like I just want to get into bed and cry. I suck it up most of the time but feel anger when he tries to be nice at times. I'm just fed up with the passive aggressive comments and the side remarks that are made as an attempt to make things better. I'm not sure what to do because when I ask him what's wrong he replies "nothing." I just needed a place to vent since I don't really have any friends who might know what I'm going through.
Re: Having some trouble
He needs to work on thing with you and he needs to stop making nasty comments.
If you feel this bad and he refuses to go the counseling route, ask yourself if being married to a guy like this is worth your while --- I would side eye any guy who was sacastic in the presence of his kids; do you need your kids hearing this bullshit? --- and if the answer is "NO" file for divorce and tell him to go.
He needs to support his children financially and you can get alimony payments.
Don't pollute your life and don't pollute your children's lives with garbage --- because that's apparently all you're getting from your husband.
I am definitely new at this....I have been married for two years to my college sweetheart. We moved to a new state for his job and I have been feeling like we are growing apart. I don't feel that spark anymore and feel like we are drifting apart. He has always been sarcastic and able to putme down without even thinking he did anything wrong. I has always put it off hoping that he would stop once he realized he was doing it - yea hoping somebody would change, I know that doesn't usually happen. Now, at this stage, I am truly unhappy and want out of the marriage. However, I am not always sure that it is the right thing and maybe I should give it more time to get better. A friend has said that my husband is mentally abusive and that I need to leave the relationship or else I am never going to be happy. I know that he is right and that I will have to do what is best for myself.
Has anyone else been in this situation? What did you do?
Any advice????
This was 3 years ago and you went ahead and had 2 kids with this guy. WHY did you even think of TTC with a creep like this???
Leave, posthaste.
Or do you want to post here in 3 more years and report about yet more trouble and bullshit from this creep???
What especially sucks now is that there are minor children in the picture -- if you called it a day and got out before a child entered the picture you'd ahve had your work cut out for you. Now you are stuck with him for an additional 18 more years!
He wasn't a good husband. Nor was he a good boyfriend. What makes you think he will be a good father???
Once in awhile? Fine. If it fits he situation. But mine also thinks he's the funniest person on the planet, and that it's me that's lost my sense of humor after having a baby. Um, no, you're just an asshole. Is this yours, too?
I would see a counselor in your situation. It doesn't sound like it's changed in the last 5 (plus?) years, judging from previous posters.
Seriously, call a counselor. Even if it's just you going for now. That's what I am doing. Then see if you can get him to come as well - have you asked him to go? If he wants to make the relationship work, he will go.