Opening birthday party presents?

csuave

DH and I went to a 5 year old bday party recently.  The party lasted about 2.5-3 hours.  There were 20+ kids there and some adults w/o kids (like us) were also invited.  A meal was served and there was cake, an organized painting activity and time with some princesses that were hired entertainment.  After all of the organized activity the kids had a good time playing in an unorganized way.  The presents were off in a corner and were never opened during the party.  The kids seemed to have so much entertaining them that they didn't notice or mind.  Have you ever seen a kid not open presents at their party?  Do you have any opinions on if someone should do it/not do it/doesn't matter?

denalea

We've done it both ways.  My LO is 3.  Honestly, it is easier to NOT open them.  When S was 2 we did open them at the party and he had so much "help" from other kids that despite mine and my sister's best efforts, we had who gave what entirely wrong, and that was definitely reflected in the thank you notes.  (oops!)  Also, the temptation is then to open EVERY.NEW.THING and parts get lost and toys get broken before we even know what they were.  

On the other hand, I know that ppl took time to pick a gift and would like to see a kid open it.  (This also raises my anxiety that my kid won't react the way you'd hoped and there will be hurt feelings and my kid will look like an ungrateful jerk....but that's my issue!)

Really, I'm not sure you can 100% win and make everyone happy.  I usually play it by ear.  Our parties have usually been as you described - minus any formal activities.  Because S has a Memorial Day birthday, its more like a cookout for grownups and kids.  Being outside has helped to steer the attn. away from presents. 

However, if I went to a party and really wanted a kid to open my present, I'd wait around until nearly the end when things were settling, and say to the parent, "I'd really like Junior to open what I got him.  I was so excited to find it and I think he'll love it.  Would it be OK if I gave it to him?"  I would react totally favorably to that kind of overture, no matter what my plans were. 

BUT, do not be like my MIL and just let the kid start opening presents without asking the parents.  I was totally mad when that happened!!!!  (I was not in the room... but again, that's my issue!)

Luckystar2

We have definitely been to parties where the bday kid hasn't opened presents.

Personally I am not a fan. To me people spent time buying a gift and they come to the party they would like to see the recipient open it. I know I do and I know my dd loves seeing her friends open their presents. Any of the parties we have gone to where they haven't opened gifts, dd asks and is a little sad she didn't get to see her friend open the gift. I also think it's a good message about gift giving/receiving for kids. Dd took time and thought (she really does!) and then gets to see how happy she made her friend. Vice versa as the kid opening you are learning to be appreciative and thankful to the person whose gift you just opened up. Like pp said she is sometimes worried her kid won't react the right way...I worry about that too at times, but this is good practice for them so they learn the right way to react.

I get that with a huge party it might be hard but most parties we go to don't have that many kids so it really shouldn't take that much time. And I know some times there just isn't time at a special venue where they only give you a certain amount of time. But I still prefer it. Dd always has and will open hers at her party. We have plenty of things to entertain the kids but will stop and make time to open and then back to the activities for whoever is still staying longer. Generally all of the kids are super excited during present time.

csuave

TN ate my reply

csuave

I am fine with either way.This party was large.  I think taking the time to open everything would have put a damper on some of the fun.  I heard grandma ask mom why she was preventing DD from opening gifts.  DD seemed perfectly happy playing with her friends so I think this was more of grandma's issue.  Mom told grandma that she would do it after the party so she could be sure to record who gave what for thank you notes. 

TBH, I was glad they didn't open gifts at this party.  One of the reasons was because we gave a book.  We thought the birthday girl would like it and I am not embarrassed about it but DH was because we are sure that we didn't spend as much as everyone else. 

  

Meghan&Rich

We've done it both ways. We don't really plan to do it one way or the other, it just comes down to time, how the party is going, etc. Personally, I like it better when we don't open them during the party, as my kids appreciate the gifts much more when opening them after the party when it's not so chaotic. It's also easier for me to keep track of things for thank you's.

I don't have an opinion on how others do it...it's their party, and not about what me or my kids want. I guess it's nice to see them open what we got them, but to be honest it's not something we notice or think too much about.

bride2003

Parties at my house we open gifts.  Family parties definitely b/c its a big deal for family to see kids' reactions.  Friend party at my house we opened as well but much smaller group.  Keira is having party at Animal Friends in Jan but we are asking for donation presents vs ones for her (thank goodness!)

csuave

A party at Animal Friends sounds so cool! 

bride2003 said:

Parties at my house we open gifts.  Family parties definitely b/c its a big deal for family to see kids' reactions.  Friend party at my house we opened as well but much smaller group.  Keira is having party at Animal Friends in Jan but we are asking for donation presents vs ones for her (thank goodness!)